Need some help on break up issue

-milkbottle- SG · 2010-09-13T13:21:27+00:00

i guess its pretty obvious that this relationship would not go for a second turn. even if you two get back, how you two use to be, would not be same anymore....

-milkbottle- SG

I'm hoping to get some sincere advice and comments on my recent break up.

My break up involves neither a 3rd party nor a heated argument and our relationship was very strong and sincere. My ex went overseas for a few months and she initiated a break up right after she returned. Main reason - she feels that she is not emotionally dependent on me anymore. She assured me no 3rd party was involve.

Just like that, she has moved on after a few months apart. My questions are, should I try to reconcile the relationship cos I felt its a waste just to break off like that and is it really possible for a girl who show no remorse after breaking up and behave like a total stranger after a few months? thanks !

ITs'ME SG

Hello there ,

im not sure if i can help but i would try to give some opinion if you don't mind.

Firstly when i read , "she feels that she is not emotionally dependent on me anymore." , that means in the first place , is she using you?

Actually , i think that for a "girl who show no remorse after breaking up and behave like a total stranger after a few months" , there can only be a few reason.

1.)She hopes you can move on and forget about her. She doesn't want to be your GF anymore(due to some personal reasons?)

2.)She is just playing with you from the beginning. She doesn't want to be your GF anymore.

3.)3rd party? she assures you there is none, but who knows?

If she really loves you , theres no reason why a breakup will happened for just only a few months. My guess is that during her trip overseas , she saw that there are more choices out there and does not want to be tied down so early?

So its your choice whether you want to try to reconcile.

Best of Luck! :)

Hugh Hefner SG

Have you watch the movie "She's Not That Into You" ?

It seems she has already made up her mind; your attempt to reconcile will things worse. No point trying to restore anything. ITS OVER. The fact that you said she show no remorse proves that she is finished with you. Even if you can pull her back into your arms, whats going to stop her from asking for another breakup 6 months down the line or later?

Your next move should be trying to put a CLOSURE to your relationship. Maybe you can wait or you can call her and make sure the words from her mouth confirm that she wants out of the relationship. Don't ask silly questions like is she with another guy or what is the reason for the break up, she is not your problem anymore, it is time you move on, find another girlfriend. A simple CLOSURE will do perhaps a 10 min talk on the phone. Make sure before you call her, email to her to let her know that you want a proper CLOSURE so that you can go on with your life.

littlemissbonkers SG

Weird reason for breaking up...especially if you say it was a strong and sincere r/s...

Maybe you should talk to her and find out the real reason...

One reason might be that she fell out of love with you...

And whether or not you should seek a reconcilation depends on how much you love and need her.

If you're just doing it becoz u dun wanna "waste" the r/s, then you might as well not bother.

-milkbottle- SG

Weird reason for breaking up...especially if you say it was a strong and sincere r/s...

Maybe you should talk to her and find out the real reason...

One reason might be that she fell out of love with you...

And whether or not you should seek a reconcilation depends on how much you love and need her.

If you're just doing it becoz u dun wanna "waste" the r/s, then you might as well not bother.

Well, I have tried asking, she feels that I should have put in more care for her at certain times of our relationship. My casual approach seemed to made her more independent and eventually she doesn't need me for that emotional support. Thus her feelings faded when we were away from each other. I assume our relationship was strong cos we do not have any fights or conflicts throughout the relationship and we always make effort to find time for each other.

I would really like to reconcile but I don't really know how to do it, because she seems cold each time I call her and she told me she was firm on her decision.

littlemissbonkers SG

I would really like to reconcile but I don't really know how to do it, because she seems cold each time I call her and she told me she was firm on her decision.

Har?

Never fight means strong r/s?

0.o

Den my r/s with strangers damn strong liaoz

lol

Anywayz since she doesn't have any more feelings for you, and you don't seem to need her that much, then you might as well look for a new one.

Thinkingofyou SG

I would really like to reconcile but I don't really know how to do it, because she seems cold each time I call her and she told me she was firm on her decision.

What was the reason she went overseas?

My husband was posted overseas for 6 months for work. Its not made us grow apart, but it's made me realise what I don't want to go through (the frequent fights and spats and stand-offs due to the recurring issues we have: his stupid family, his inability to get over his anger fast enough, etc).

Strangely, the 6 mths apart while has made me miss him very much, and made me lonely at times, esp on weekends when I used to spend all the time with him, it's also made me realise how RELIEVED I actually feel abt not having to deal with the fights we had when he was here.

In fact, thinking abt the fights, make me DREAD them when I remember he's coming back in 3 months time.

Icygecko84 SG

Maybe you were the only one that felt it was a strong relationship. Different people need different things and perhaps you got what you need, but she didn't get it from you like more care from you like what she said. Something happened during the trip definitely.

Probably she came to a decision that she doesn't think so much of you and therefore she don't need you. She don't love you so much for her to just give you up just like that. So in my opinion i will be angry if this happened to me. I'm not asking you to be angry btw, it won't solve anything, i'm juz sayin. Or maybe there is a 3rd party involved and she is waiting for him to fly over here. And while waiting she is giving some time to pass between her breakup with you. Then when he is here, she will pretend that she just met him so you won't suspect she was with him when she was overseas. What do you think?

I think i have a great imagination but it could be true ya know.

-milkbottle- SG

Have you watch the movie "She's Not That Into You" ?

I had our closure. The funny thing is when we met up for a proper closure, we felt comfortable with each other's company. We talk about the past, joked and teased, not a typical "drama" closure. Well I have been forcing myself to move on but the thoughts of reconciliation lingers at the back of my head.

Ssirajjj SG

the more u plead with her the further she will go so just let go if its yours its yours ,believe me with some years of xperience u must not lose face ,act as though she is not the only girl in the world n u could find someone else even better n see her come running to u if she really wants u .

Hugh Hefner SG

There is some probability that you may win her back and reconcile but be assured, in the near future she will ask for another break up and this would tend to pull you down emotionally. I have a friend who tried to reconcile with his ex 7 times during their 7 year tumultous relationship. I believe she still misses the good bit of the relationship but the parts that are missing is just too much for her to retain the relationship.

My advice for you is to move on. You are still young and there are lots of fishes out there.

Arapahoe SG

I think the main issued here is closured for YOU. Not Make up!

how long are you in this relationship before the breakup?

Go straight to her and explain to her YOU Need closured explaination. And Not Make up....

Your perspective is that there is nothing wrong with the relationship but........break off with you after few months away and behave like stranger. But in reality it may not be.

TTFU SG

Perhaps the feelings already dilluted when she went overseas, since she is so firm, i see no reason you should carry on. A weak relationship dont deserve your time.

parn SG

I'm hoping to get some sincere advice and comments on my recent break up.

She doesn't see a future in you, so she's rescuing herself and saving her wasted time on you.

If it's possible for a guy to show no remorse, then of course it is also possible for a girl to show no remorse after breaking up.

Nobody say you cannot try to reconcile your relationship with her, but make sure your reconciliation isn't based on facts and fairness.

Remember you want to reconcile, not force her to love and accept you in a business-like manner.

Reconciliation should be focused on the tempting and attracting the inner self to give both of you another chance at a relationship again.

Come to think of it, if you aren't capable to stop her from leaving you, what makes you think you are capable of wooing her back to you?

Fire Cracker SG

maybe there's some bad points in you which she have saw it, feel it, know it and decide to leave it. meaning leave you for good.

no need good explaination. she's doesn't love you, doesn't feel you, doesn't know you anymore. so you become nothing to her.

love is like that. now they come, now they go. today u 2 might be hugging and kissing. tomorrow u 2 might be turning and leaving.

learn to get used to it. it's LOVE u r talking about. MARRIAGE also can divorce, what is GF? --- nothing. so just treasure the time you 2 are together and make memorys last longer.

Greatmagichelper SG

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Fugazzi SG

Ts - If you love her let go, possessiveness is not love, the past is dead it cannot save what is now. Memory is useless only real in the head lah!

TTFU SG

You need to get banned seriously

- u too. for quoting -

mancha SG

I would really like to reconcile but I don't really know how to do it, because she seems cold each time I call her and she told me she was firm on her decision.

You neglected her when she's overseas.

Did you call her everyday? Did you persist, even when she says not to call?

gigabyte14 SG

she want enjoy single life lor

how come if got break up must mean got 3rd party 1?

knn think big leh