office conflicts

Xenith999 SG

Hello, I feel lost and cant find someone to talk to at this hour so I decided to post here,

I had a conflict with my colleague (female) actually quite close before this incident. We used to go out in groups have fun chit chat , gossip about office and so on.She can complains alot about pple though.

However I have been hearing stuffs about her like being unprofessional in work and keep having fun(joke around ,go to other pple work area and chit chat,work neglect) during work. Pple start talking and i manage to hear it. Been contemplating to tell her about it so she can watch out.

one day i told her about it and now she blames me to the max for those crap stories. she says they are childish and it doesnt really affect her at all. I know deep down she hates me to the core now for telling her things like these and she isnt happy at all.

after some time of non contact I decided to msg her to tell her about work stuffs she doesnt reply at all, ask her out also ignore. decided to tell her how i feel bad and she started to use vulgarities bashing about me tell me how i sucks and its all my fault and i blamed her for that.

we r no longer friends now and i feel so bad about it. i know there is nothing i can do anymore and she just says i am bad with problems based on her experience.

I was hoping things would work out but it didnt.

birkbeck SG

Nothing Special. Actually no friend in the office. Office is not class or family, it is battlefield. It is naive to share too much private time and opinions with your colleague. At proper time, these sharing could all be disadvantageous evidences of yours.

VexTeen92 SG

You should have just ignore what you've heard. Office where got peaceful one? Always flying daggers around. Colleague remains as colleague no matter how close the relationship is. Must wear protective gear one you know.... including the one for the ears... Hope you will get better. And remember to wear the gears from now on....

the_fallen SG

Office survival skills

#1 - Gossip about others outside the circle of friends

#2 - Be a busybody to get the latest news to keep yourself in the loop and stay informed

#3 - Don't gossip or confront a person who is the subject in the gossip incase things turns ugly

#4 - Office colleagues as only good for chatting, lunch/dinner buddies else help you to find or recommend new jobs only

#5 - Be on good terms with the colleagues to have people watch your back while you return the favor too.

#6 - If you don't like gossip, whatever you listen, just take it with a pitch of salt and ignore it

#7 - Never get involved with bgr in office else your job performance will be affected

#8 - Don't appear to be overly hardworking in the office posing as a threat to other colleagues which reveals the fact that they are slacking..do it discreetly without them seeing you as a threat giving them reasons to backstab you to safe-keep their own employment.

#9 - Never be the Mr Nice Guy else you will find yourself with more workload than others.

#10 - Don't join a conflict or get dragged into a conflict..stay clear of such dangerous situations if possible

#11 - Don't tell/talk/discuss your personal life experiences with your collegues if you want to stay gossip free

#12 - If employer/fellow collegues wants you to go for group outing/Clubbing to de-stress, never ever get yourself in a drunk akward situation else you will see yourself losing the respect and be the stared at in the office the new few days and eventually be avoided at any events.

Hope the above tips will help you in a smooth journey in surviving office politics and a happy work experience ahead.

dukedracula SG

didn't you ever come across that gold 90.5 fm advert, everyone likes to hear only about the good stuffs...this relationship can't be salvaged...

Gedanken SG

What exactly did you tell this colleague? Did you just go, "Hey, so-and-so said this about you"? If you did, you got precisely what you deserved. It simply comes off as you sharing negative gossip.

On the other hand, if you'd prefaced the whole thing with, "Hey, looks like some people in the office are getting the wrong idea about you - let's see how we can resolve this", you've framed the whole issue in a much more constructive way. If she still wants to get her knickers in a twist, stand out of the way so that you don't become collateral damage when she self-destructs.

Yuqianvivian88 SG

You can find friends in office only if you have no any beneficial relations. I built a website. handbagssite8.com. come here to find suprise.

Vote PAP OUT to Save SG SG

just concentrate on your job.

Fire Cracker SG

YES CORRECT. office is WAR.

don't spend time with WAR-MATES.

don't listen to gossip. avoid stories / conflicts.

people come, people go. so office is not a place to have friend.

i recently K-PO kana tornadoes. there is a storm going on and i went right into it.

office, i go a few good skills.

My Tai-Ji skills is powerful enough. Dodge, Block and Push.

My "ninja-skill" is wonderful. Hide, Sneak-off, Act Blur.

My Armory Skill is fantastic. Endure! Endure! Endure!

Endure the Scolding from the Crazy Bitch

Endure the Scolding from the Crazy Dog.

Endure the Critics of ALL THE OFFICE FREAKS.

Gedanken SG

Man, some of you guys have the strangest ideas. You choose to waste energy fighting with the very people who could help you get where you're going.

Rock^Star SG

xenith, i think you've got a fucking retarded colleague there. If you are really good pals, then she should look beneath the whole thing and reflect.

Just leave her alone, some friends are just not worth the effort.

TTFU SG

Seems like you have just confirmed those rumours. Time to spread them to another mate

Fire Cracker SG

just the Tai Ji. just use Tai ji and u can stay FREE

Tai Ji first skill = BO CHUP .. anything also care free. don't care. stay out of it. non of your business. beside dead also don't care.

Tai Ji second skill = Cover own back side. everything also must have proof. write email. write memo. take photo.

Xenith999 SG

wow hey guys and gals i read through all your comments yes indeed it helps me to hear your views thanks for even replying.

ya most likely i am naive thinking we are really good friends.

Gendanken is right i told her what u mention in your first paragraph. Yup i deserve it. I didnt think of being tactful.

Well I hope this post might be useful to other people who might have similiar problems and use this as reference. I learnt to take it easy and use this experience to grow stronger. Our antagonist is our helper (+ve thinking)

Rock Star I am beginning to think if she is really retarded, I find her unprofessional in dealing this and most likely she cant come to terms with what i have said. I dun blame her and till now I still regard her as a friend even though she doesnt.Yes i will leave her alone and keep it to strictly work related only. She indeed have hurt me with her attitude, I would really like to say more but not adviseable to as it may be easy to pinpoint who is she , the world is small.

TTFU I told her that it's worth it being the bad guy here and she of course manage to tone down whatever she is doing and keeping a watch on herself.

well thanks again office is indeed not really nice, however I still feel there might be exception that relationships might occur and good friends can be found dun let this deter you to have good relationship in office just be more vigilant.

ditzy SG

Office is office, friend is friend, there are no friends in the office.

martin_lim85 SG

so many crazy ppl around. just do ur work and get paid

likeyou SG