In Debt

last SG · 2010-08-05T14:01:11+00:00

Since you claim that you are able to repay the entire 20k amount (inclusive of interest) in one year time. I put it that you are earning at leastt 2.5k per m...

couch^potato SG

Hello everyone. Would like to seek your advise.

Some background about me. I am nearing my 30s and am working in the Govt Sector. The house that i am currently residing in is shared with my mother. I pay for the mortgage while my mum pays for the bills using the revenue from renting the rooms out.

The problem that i am facing now is that i am in debt. I owe the banks about 20k and am in need of help. I tried to ask my mum to sell the house in order to help me out but she adamantly refuses to do so. She claims that this is her 3rd time buying a house and she will not be able to buy another one from the govt if she sells it away.

I have lost all interest in my work and at times living as well. But of course i am not going to end my life and be a coward. I have even went to the extent of thinking of running away to another country because i feel so disappointed in myself. I don't really like my job. Took up the job only because of my family situation in the past(mum wanted me to join this line and help her with the financial matters in the past). And being in debt just makes me feel so demoralised. I will be able to settle my debts within a yr based on my salary though and if i am disciplined enough with my expenditure.

But I am not willing to wait for a year !! I wish to clear off my debts asap and start my life anew. I really do not know how to persuade my mum to sell off the house to help me. It's not as if i will abandon her or whatsoever. I suggested selling off the place and renting out a flat in the meantime (i'll pay for the rental etc). She keeps refusing my suggestions and i am really feeling very vexed about my current situation. I see some of my friends who have financial problems and their parents help them out. This being my own house and i can't even have a say about it?

Anyone has any suggestions to offer? Filing for bankruptcy is not an option. Thanks.

Rock^Star SG

well though u will take care of her no matter what but still, selling the house to finance your personal debts is a pretty selfish act. To your mum, that means everything to her. You will make her sad if you do so. You keep asking yourself..what she can do for you. How abt yourself? What can you do for her? And it is only respectful if we as children give in more to our parents than they to us. You are not yet thirty and you have time on your side. What about your mum?

One year to clear all debts is not very long. Renting a flat at this age of your mum may make her feel very insecure. May even be a laughing stock if friends and relatives know about it.

Refrain from comparing too. Every family has its own troubles and is unique. Basis for comparisons are pointless. Start thinking what you can do for your mum if you really love her.That is, if you really love her.

My 2 cents worth.

Fire Cracker SG

couch^potato... u in debt because of what incident?

Recent betting on the world cup? Money got scammed? Let's share the reason of why u r in debt to first think of a solution for u

please don't go and die or whatever just because of 20K

FireIce SG

u can consider seeking help from this and the like

couch^potato SG

FireIce thanks for the link. I will take some time to read through it.

Fire Cracker - I got into debt starting from a Traffic accident that i got into in 2006. Needed about 9k to reduce my vehicle loss (else i would have to declare a total loss for the vehicle) and out of desperation drew it from my credit cards. After that, i started to gamble and my bro's friend bet at my side and lost about 12k of which he didn't clear. I cleared the debt (big lesson learnt) and started to gamble more to reduce my losses. Helping my brother clear his loan shark debts (3 times) also led to my downfall. Basically it was due to my desire to clear my debts in the soonest possible way which in my opinion at that time was to gamble (soccer online betting). I have since stopped gambling for about 7 months but i find myself getting addicted to partying just to stay away from my home. That's a new addiction that i am suffering from currently. I know i need help. Just confused and ashamed to approach anyone therefore seeking for opinions through the forum. And to think that i was the most successful and looked up to by all my relatives and cousins. Just down in the dumps down.

Fatum SG

FireIce thanks for the link. I will take some time to read through it.

ah ..... so you are a gambler and you like to party ....

so what kind of solution do you expect from here if you don't seem inclined to help yourself ? who do you want to blame ? You think just by whining here your problems will disappear tomorrow ?

and you're a civil servant ! ... you should know better ....

*koks head ... go take charge of your own life !

BobbyToon SG

Hi and Bye

BadzMaro SG

The part about how he is not taking charge over his own life and being stupid and the likes is the past now. Its pointless to talk about it.

The focus is now on the solution.

The time to kick his ass has passed. Its now time to help his ass.

lol

Since u say ur current job is able to put u in a position to clear ur debts, well, its ur bread n butter.. ur golden goose option here man! Dun go get ur mum to sell off the house. Unless you are going to buy her a bigger one, by all means please.

If not, "But I am not willing to wait for a year !! I wish to clear off my debts asap and start my life anew"

U just gotta be patient and wait a year. Surviving this adversity, your renwed life will have much more meaning.

But like others said, its your choice. And bankruptcy not being an option.

Haneys88 SG

Hi everyone,

would like to ask....my SO was given a writ of summon and his motoring company is suing him for up to 9k of debts due to late payment and his bike was repossessed. To stop the legal proceedings, the company is asking for 5k in 8 days time before they will allow an installment plan. He is currently working 2 jobs to clear all his debts and he definitely cannot achieve 5k in such a short time.

His friends and family members are of no use, and I've been helping him little by little every month without my parents knowing. I have a v strict family and I can't help him much financially other than $2-300/month.

My question is... is there a possible jail term if he goes to court?

From the above, I informed him of DebtReform and we'll see how that goes..

I-like-flings(m) SG

i think persuading ur mum to disown u is alot easier than asking her to sell her house for u...

Haneys88 SG

Anyway onto your topic...

Since you're working in the govt sect, would'nt u have to declare ur financial status?

My SO same thing, owed banks up to 20k+bcoz of credit cards on behalf of his family, he declared and after investigation, he was granted help. They paid off all his debts and now 1/3 of his pay is deducted every month before it goes into his bank acct.

I think your mother at an old age, has reason to hold on to things she hold precious like the house...old people can get sentimental with stuff like that....

When I'm old, I myself wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life in a rented house...just my two cents...

dechang SG

The TS seems to be in a deep shit.

Can't sell house, addicted to gambling and partying, hate his job, got sabo by his brother and his friend.

Fire Cracker SG

u got a job. i seriously suggest u work hard and keep it

party and gamble will make u = loser and useless.

it's the not debt that kill u, it's YOU and that Fark-Ass brother of yours.

IGNORE your brother.

STOP going out.

SAVE every CENT.

BE GOOD to your MOTHER.

GAMBLE will KILL your future.

I am a low-salaried worker which have save hard to get the money for marrying the lady I love. I have an aim in life -- what's yours?

Fire Cracker SG

and SELL YOUR CAR

BotaHead SG

asking your mum to sell the house is out of the question, she know what you are up to and she is not stupid.

the very 1st thing u need to do is to kick off your addiction to partying and be a good boy staying at home watching tv and suck thumb. lol

20k is not a lot of money and one year is not very long to stick your @ss onto it till the dept is clear.

there is no easy way out, all u need is discipline and determination. you have to do it yourself cos no one is able to help you.

if you cant then i think u better go and bang the wall. lol

dragg SG

20k debt is not a lot especially since you can repay within a year.

if you sell your house then where are you going to stay?

eagle SG

Hi couch^potato,

regarding this:

but i find myself getting addicted to partying just to stay away from my home.

My suggestion is, if you really want to stay away from home, why not go find a sideline job instead of partying? I think for a civil servant, by right you can work a max of 6 hrs in sidelines.

1 yr isn't a very long time. The key, as you have correctly put it, is to have the discipline on your expenditure.

Xcert SG

Hi couch^potato,

regarding this:

My suggestion is, if you really want to stay away from home, why not go find a sideline job instead of partying? I think for a civil servant, by right you can work a max of 6 hrs in sidelines.

1 yr isn't a very long time. The key, as you have correctly put it, is to have the discipline on your expenditure.

I tot the general guideline for civil servant is no sideline?...

Xcert SG

Hello everyone. Would like to seek your advise.

Anyone has any suggestions to offer? Filing for bankruptcy is not an option. Thanks.

not willing to wait for a year....clear tomorrow lar...

If U have money to clear....U wouldnt be in debt...so in order to have money to clear...U need to work and channel as much as possible to repaying debt...Clearing debts ASAP everyone knows...but unless money drops from the sky...slow and steady wins the race.

I hope U know by now that money DOESNT drop from the sky...

Selling house is just moving from one sh!thole to another...U sell...proceeds goes back to CPF 1st and then U get watever is left...then U go rent house with whatever U have...U think after that U still have enough to downpay a house?...minus all the misc charges during the selling....lawyer fees etc...Yes U work...but not everyone working can afford to buy a house U know?

Xcert SG

Hi everyone,

My question is... is there a possible jail term if he goes to court?

From the above, I informed him of DebtReform and we'll see how that goes..

No...the most they can do is to sue him for bankcruptcy...which opens up a whole lot of other issues.