do you sometimes drown yourself in work and activity, just to
keep busy so that you don't have time to sit down to listen to your
thoughts and get in touch with your feelings ? it's a form of
running away from hurts, losses and disappointments either with
yourself or of others.
i often feel this way these days. just want to run run run
till i am dead tired so that i fall asleep immediately in bed out
of exhaustion. it's also a way to avoid contact with people
whom i rather not be around with. there was a time when i was
pretty much in touch with the inner voice... then i felt
peaceful. not anymore. don't even know why i am doing
what i am doing, don't even bother to ask "why"
anymore. i just do. wherever it leads me, there i shall
go. there seems no point to control, because things almost
always turn out differently from planned. relinquishing
control seems cowardly ? on one hand. on the other hand it is
liberating as one no longer needs to suffer incessant torture
through self-blaming.
busy-ness is an escapade to me. some say it's a form of
healing. will ignoring life's misses and discouragements
allow the wound to heal or let it die wrapped in layers and layers
of our consciousness ? or is it merely sweeping under the
carpets awaiting the day when one goes berserk as he reaches the
breaking point ?
No, this is not a form of healing. By trying to avoid the root
cause of your problems using forms of distraction will only cause
it to go deeper, and potentially worse in future, when it finally
surfaces.
Real healing is to let your emotions of your root problem
surface, and deal with it, not let it go out of control. After
you've dealt with it, then your healing can then take place.
From your last paragraph, you actually already know what is the
right thing you need to do now. It's now your choice which option
to take. :)
Take care ya.
Rainbow Jigsaw of Life
