I am a working person. Two years ago, I had a difficult break up
and my ex left me for a more older and weatlhy man. I decided
to be by myself and do everything by myself. Nobody bother to
contact me. But recently I have ephiphany. I want to change my life
and I want to be more brighter and positive.
So I call all my old classmates and ask them out for a drink.
One by one they all make excuses, say they busy lar, say they got
appointment lar, etc, etc. So I let it go by. Then now is world
cup, I call them back again so we can go watch world cup. They give
me same excuses again. Some of them not married and only have
girlfriend but why are they so busy? I only call them like once a
month. Excuses, excuses.
So, I decided to make other friends, join association and
religious activity. Quite fun, I made new friends. But I am not
giving up on my classmate. Very sianz lar, they so not cooperative,
so I call them back again, again those poor excuses. So I scold one
of them who say he was driving, I say to him I will continue to
call him until he come out, I dont' care. I complain to him and say
why friend call you you don't want to come out? He say busy lar got
this and that lar. I say that we should keep in touch and as long
as he never say he dislike me and he don't to go out, I will
continue to pester him.
Last time, I get bully by my ex girlfriend, she say I am poor, I
am not like this, I am not good enough and I am not good looking
enough. I am so sick of this. Last time, I try try to cater her
make her feel happy, spend a lot of money on her clothes, dinner
and presents. But she treat me so bad. So bad. And then when got
richer guy come after her, she break up, just like that. Yes, she
got right to leave me but if you are me, then you feel very
bad.
Now I do not want to feel being push down by people, I want to
breath good and new live. So I don't want to give up on my
classmate who give me poor excuses. I want to be aggresive to find
better life.
Last week, I have another friend who have so good social life.
He is still single but everyday he is busy, I call him, I can
always hear background got sound and a lot of people talking. THis
friend, I believe his reason that he cannot come out because he is
honest. Last week he went to Greece and then today he was out with
some of his church friend. Although I am beginning new life and
meeting new friends, I cannot match his social life and I got so
many weekends with nothing to do except Sunday. I want to be busy
with people and helping people. Please advice what I should do to
make my life better and leave behind the bad memories of hte ex
girlfriend. She has now married but she is so bad she didn't even
invite me but invited my friends. She change her tel number and i
cannot contact her.
Pls advice me on my old classmate friends. If you tell me to
seek other friends and leave them alone, I feel that I have been
defeated. I must take the challenge and complain more to them to
come out. I want to scold them, I don't want to be like a scardy
mice like last time always scolded by exgirlfriend.
Hi,
First let me convey my condolences.
Secondly,
In my opinion, when your friends say they are busy......
This has a meaning.
You had an epiphany. So you now place more emphasis on
relationships, and you want to re-forge your friendships. But your
friends, they didnt have any epiphany. They are still living their
day-to-day life as usual. Therefore there is a mismatch and
imbalance of perspective and expectation. If you keep pestering
them, they will feel you are weird. Meanwhile you feel it is them
who are weird, and who are abandoning you.
There is no right or wrong. It is just a difference in
expectation.
Like I said, your friends didnt have epiphany.
So try to understand this condition and situation first, and
dont be too disappointed.
I have a practical suggestion and solution for you.
Try to meetup somewhere convinient for them.
Then their transactional cost is lower, and their busy-ness can
be more accomodated.
Ok good luck.
