confused

huzane89 SG

i am in this 'open' relationship with this guy. Our relationship is purely physical. I know I am not ready for commitment at this time. And I have this condition of commitment at the min. age of 25. I am 21 this year.

This guy and I decided to 'commit' physically to each other only, so as to prevent STDs and if something unfortunate such as pregnancy happens, I know who the father is.

The relationship was fine and it went on for 4 months. And yesterday, he suddenly said he has feelings for me and wants a real commitment. I was taken aback as I didnt feel the same was as he did. Now, after his confession, I kind of like him. but I still think I am not ready. So, I ended things with him. Now, I cant stop thinking of him.

What do I do?

TTFU SG

You sound like a guy more like a girl to me. Physical commitment ? You need someone to satisfy your sexual disires ? Its time to think if you really love this guy, both sexual and emotional.

TYING SG

If you are really not ready to commit into a relationship, then stop the physical relationship that you have with him right now. Right from the beginning, you both are already making use of each other to satisfy sexual desires. Since one of you cross the limit, then I guess there must be a stop to this before things spiral out of control.

Pitot SG

WTF?

ditzy SG

WTF?

Hey, you think people marry for love and lifetime commitment? Its just for the flat lar.

Fatum SG

This guy and I decided to 'commit' physically to each other only, so as to prevent STDs and if something unfortunate such as pregnancy happens, I know who the father is.

What do I do?

so in other words ..... your fark buddy fell in love with you, right ? ....

Pitot SG

no, i was WTFing at the

This guy and I decided to 'commit' physically to each other only, so as to prevent STDs and if something unfortunate such as pregnancy happens, I know who the father is.

part.

kopiosatu SG

find another FB

likeyou SG

Why physical committment? Funny.

Xiaopenut SG

DONT!! lol hes cheating you !! im a guy and i know lol there no asking if he really loves you cause he know that u love him and he loves you and you both stare at each other and closer and closer then ''BOOM'' baby born.. lols << nonsense.. afterall hes trying to cheat you la.. if im wrong tell me..you ask him to ROM with you before sex because ROM only take $20 im i correct??you pay for it la u tell him.if he dont want ..aha you know what he really wants..SEX... moreover if you ROM with him and he break up and find other girl you can file a case on him and ask for a $$$ cause you are considered married in singapore^^

hope its not too late^^

mancha SG

An agreement is an agreement, break it and its sayonara.

Find yourself a new partner, and stock up on condoms.

Arapahoe SG

This guy and I decided to 'commit' physically to each other only, so as to prevent STDs and if something unfortunate such as pregnancy happens, I know who the father is.

What do I do?

Both of you are healthy individual. He with strong Testostoterone and You with strong

estrogen. both of you are actively seeking sexual partners that makes both of you a good couple for procreation.

But if you have not intention to have long term commitment than you should not have copulate.Because once you "make love" or have sex your brain probably produce dopamine a chemical to make you feel "Love"

You are obversely attracted to this person "physically" could be by smell or find him a suitor to have your offspring that is why you are willing to copulate with this individual.

Reviewed your preconcieved idea of lifestyle and talks to your "Sex partner" or lover for a commitment relationship bring up one notch.

Life Changes it happen all the times....its normal many times we don't know where we are heading meet the unexpected person......Ask yourself are you happy with this "person". What do you feel when he is not beside you.

Good luck.

russiabear SG

This guy and I decided to 'commit' physically to each other only, so as to prevent STDs and if something unfortunate such as pregnancy happens, I know who the father is.

What do I do?

still can do a reverse. guys know girls like to change their minds. if u tell him honestly how u feel about him, he will be willing to wait.

then u can still have fun together with him until u are ready to marry him or split for good lor.

-Wanderer- SG

This guy is like your FB! Damn! Anyway, you guys don't use protection?

Lorry` SG

find a new fb.

this one breaks the rule. OUT.

Yunhaier SG

This guy and I decided to 'commit' physically to each other only, so as to prevent STDs and if something unfortunate such as pregnancy happens, I know who the father is.

What do I do?

Your relationship began from a contract.

The clauses are spelled out clearly, almost like terms and condition to define the boundary of your relationship, so as to safeguard both parties interest should 'dispute' occurs.

Developed feelings seemed natural and after 4 months, it seemed like he wants more out of this contract because he probably discovered that fulfilling physical needs are pretty much short term and ain't satisfactory in a longer timeframe. He wants to null the contract and provide new contract with different terms and conditions.

As you read and decide that what I have said seemed logical, but in fact, all I have said above is a facade employed by both of you to logically structure your 'agreement' in a somewhat acceptable manner, appealing largely only to your rationale sense. Although you mentioned that you will only commit yourself at the age of 25. To me - this is purely a random forecast, almost like rolling dice. I do not know how you arrived at this conclusion, but what I am quite sure is that there seemed to be a rationalized fear about commitment in which both of you subconsciously do not want to directly deal with it.

Now that the choice card of a relationship is dealt; this deal is almost like skipping the entire courting process by substituting this process with intimacy first. In a classic chase, the chase itself develops the feelings; for your case, it is the intimacy that drives the passion.

Hence, it's still possible that a relationship from a FB relationship might happen. The only risk is that because your relationship began from a contract - it remains questionable whether this relationship would be able to weather storms without sinking back to previous contract subconsciously or having to run away when shit hits the roof. It is easily to escape in your previous arrangement, but coupled with fear of commitment and an additional burden on the scope of 'responsibility' - it may not be sustainable when you level a FB relationship up.

P.S: At the end of the day, these are only the presenting issues - the real problem lies deeper, into your unconscious yearning and fear. If you don’t work on it, it will fester and affect your future relationship in a damaging way.

Cheers