My suggestion is do some indepth study on what Buddhism and
Buddhist practice is about, then decide for yourself what you want
when you have a clearer picture.
Here's something my moderator Longchen wrote which I feel needs
to be emphasized about the difference between folk
ritual/superstition, and true Buddhism.
Hi Vexteen,
Just a sharing.
The main difference (to me) about superstition and the
real practice is that the emphasis is entirely
different.
Folk ritual is mainly about seeking protection from Gods
and Boddhisatvas. In fact, to most people, this is their main
concern. They are not interested in helping
themselves.
For the real spiritual practice, it is about helping
ourself, not seeking protection from deities. In fact, one's life
may be even worst (on the conventional sense) when one is on the
real path... that has been my own experience... at least. This is
neccessary to break through the way we percieve life.
Hope this sums up things. :)
.........
hi geis,
thanks for your candour... anyway, in my own journey too, i go
thru countless ups and downs and it will continue... i think it is
happening for all of us... it is always harder to improve than to
backslide. The teacher can hammer us into shape, but he/she
is not around always... we have to have a very very strong
mind. There is so much suffering always, in all aspects of
life, for oneself and for others, such incredible suffering.
Sometimes, one wonders why samsara is so exceedingly painful.
everyone is going thru their share of suffering... if we really see
the pain, we can develop renunciation, it becomes a source of
strength to further pick ourselves up again and again, over and
over and then to walk on. Actually, there is no other choice,
one has to complete the journey by oneself, opting out is not an
option. Seeing this deeply for oneself, it is a endless cause for
compassion for others too... the more one sees it for
oneself, the more sadness one has for others too.
To me, the more i walk the path, the clearer i see that
there is no way to prevent difficulties in life. There will come a
point when you just let go...
Rather than fight with reality, see through its
illusionary nature... There is no self there in all the
happenings... Self is the reaction to the happening... that is
manifesting spontaneously. Even the anger, emotions, etc have no
self-agent...
From my experience, it is very hard to see the
illusionary nature in the midst of pain. The pain is too real to be
illusionary...
p.s. you can check out http://www.jenchen.org.sg/ to find out more about
what Buddhist practice is about. The articles are easy to
understand. My Master (Ven Shen Kai) was once a Christian pastor,
but he converted to a Buddhist monk after doing indepth study of
Buddhism which totally changed his perspective and understanding
about what Buddhism is about.
i agree with you that "one's life may be worse when one is on
the real path". my troubles come when i decide to go on the
path. a spiritual teacher said that these troubles surface
because one is on the path. it's a battle between spirit
(heart) and mind. the mind will always tell you to give up
and that it is useless to walk this path. maybe i am at this
stage. too much resistance.
when you face too much resistance, do you quit the path
temporarily and rejoin when conditions are more conducive or
persist and face the worst outcome possible ?
my experience on this path has been meandering. sometimes
a detour takes me to places where i have insights. and i come
back with a fresh perspective. other times, it was running
away like quitting strenuous weight training.
