I am skinny and tall, so I call my body type.....Mark Lee
type.
But this kind of body type is bad for me, it affects my
self-confidence.
I feel self-conscious and not confident whenever I go out.
Especially whenever I am standing, I feel exposed and vulnerable
/ awkward.
Actually, as far as I can remember, I have always been
skinny.
Since kindergarten, school, and until now, old man, I have
always been underweight.
I never experience normal weight before.
I feel this is a problem because it disturbs my body-image and
my self-image.
I remember some comments from friends, relatives,
acquaintances....they would always make comments about me......they
say I should "eat more".......and stuff like that.
Actually everytime they say I should "eat more"......even though
it is a well-meaning advice....but it hurts my feelings....it makes
me feel like something is wrong with me.
I still remember one episode, one time my secondary school
teacher asked me, whether I had illness or not. She asked me that
because I looked so skinny. I just smiled and said no.
But episodes like that throughout my life and my growing up
phase, make me feel disappointed, imbalanced, and inadequate.
Even today I still receive such comments. When relatives visit,
just before they leave, they would say "dont forget to eat
more"
Sometimes they say something nicer, but still bothers
me......things such as..."wow, you eat a lot, but you can still
maintain a slim body, thats good". But I feel insecure again
because I feel that they are pointing to my skinniness.
Friends also make comments.
When I stay in dorms...or hotels.....and when I wear loose
clothings....they would make comments "wow, your legs are so
skinny"
So...everyone seem to notice it and bring it up.
Needless to say, my family members especially my parents also
bring it up.
Actually, my parents even brought me to have some
check-up.....to see if something is medically wrong with me or
not.
I went through so many check up during my teenage years that the
process made me lose self-confidence.....because it made me thinks
that maybe I am abnormal.
My parents asked me to do more excercises, in fact, they are
treating me as if I am weak or that I have some illness or
abnormality.
All these environmental effects have started to seep deep into
my heart and my psyche. I start to think that maybe I am indeed
abnormal, or at least, something is wrong with me. Or I am lacking
compared to other "normal" people.
I wasnt paying much attention to it, but nowadays through a
chance encounter, I visitted the library and borrowed a book on
Anorexia, just coincidentally, no reason, and it talks a bit about
psychology and body-image, then suddenly everything clicks and I
realize I have been suffering a serious psychological condition due
to my unsatisfactory body-image (but I dont have anorexia). It
makes me realize I am imbalanced and I am suffering mentally due to
my skinniness issue.
Haixxzz....
Anyways, thanks for listening.
I want to start doing something concrete....maybe I should start
a body-building programme? Or what should I do?
thank you,
The trouble with you is you think too much, can be seen from the
long post.
Then also you think only of yourself. Your gripping is
endless.
And then you compare yourself with Mark Lee. This makes you even
worse.
And you look towards bodybuilding to cure your woes. Your
aunties would ask you to eat even more!
The cure for your self-esteem problem is to look out wards,
towards others. Be considerate, be polite, be helpful, exercise
courtesy, get involved in some charity work. This way you build up
your reputation as someone worthy in the community.
To hear "That skinny fellow, very good one you know, help many
people." is worth more than being a muscle head.
