Hi...I juz signed up for this. was hoping to get advice
and I guess I'm not the only person with low self-esteem and having
problems at home and issues with myself. It's also bad when u don't
have a good friend to talk to. I've had this problem for many years
actually, since I was a teen. I'm 30 this year and not doing good
in life and work. I wanted to talk to a psychiatrist or a
counsellor but the charges are high. I heard of IMH but I also
heard that there is a social stigma and that it would be hard to
get a job because employers can easily check your records.
I am not a expert in boosting up your morale but i just try to
give some opinions of mine.. i understand that low self esteem is
quite a common thing nowadays. not confident abt what you do is a
serious problem.. i am sure most people would know ill-effects such
as "believing oneself as a failure in life" or "finding life
meaningless".. to counter such negative thoughts, however, it is
best to see a professional psychiatrist.. but all in all, if you do
not have a good friend to talk to, it will not be helpful as those
who have good reliable friends.. now the more impt thing is, when
do you have low self esteem? in all the things that you do? or only
certain things? to build up your confidence, 1st you really need to
build up urself, n tell yourself, in everything you do, no matter
what the outcome, you will succeed..
For instance, lets say a common issue, low self esteem that
affects you not to make new frens.. thinking of yourself as not
"one of them" or seeing them as people that are much much better
than you.. As of such, at home, try to list out all of your
strengths 1st.. Look at those strengths and tell yourself.. Why
should i be of such low esteem when i got all these strengths..
Convince yourself in believing that, you are a person who has
actually strengths, n Focus on these strengths.. Next, you work on
these strengths.. For instance, you are good at cooking.. improve
your cooking skills, develop a passion for it.. n be proud of it..
focusing on your strengths will build up a more positive mindset
for yourself.. Develop your strengths 1st.. rather than despising
your weaknesses.. Once you get yrself up, meaning, having boost of
a morale.. try finding friends that you could actually talk to.. or
maybe find time, trying to help others.. the things that you assist
to others might be a little thing, maybe that doesnt take up more
than an hr, but it is definately effective as from that little
point, you are ACTUALLY helping others.. This shows that you made a
tiny difference in their lives.. N tell urself this would be one
reason, y you are different from others.. Look, i agree that there
are many people that help people, but on the other hand.. there are
definately more people that do not bother to help others.. This
will soon be a virtue.. n wont you have a morale boost? I
understand nowadays people do not say "Thank You" often.. everytime
you helped others, just treat it as they have said a thank you..
Happiness is often regarded as a booster in self esteem..
After you gotten all these things right, you MUST be confident
of what you do.. no matter what.. let me ask you a simple qn.. IF
you have a girl that you really like, whats the difference between
of you walking straight up to her and say hi, and of you standing
here, gazing at her, just plainly admiring her? The difference is,
in case no.1, you have the chance of making her as a new friend,
but as for case no. 2, you dun even get a chance of knowing her,
not even said getting into a relationship..
So, what you need to do is to seek affirmation.. Focus on your
strengths and DUN give up in whatever you do.. Think on the sides
of optimistic.. If you tell yourself, "This week is gonna be
great", IT WILL BE, but if you say, "Nah, bad week ahead" you will
most likely experience some things that will disturb you.. this is
all due to some power of our sub-concious minds.. One last impt
thing is.. try getting your family to support you in whatever you
do.. it will give your confidence a push.. and when you succeed in
doing a thing 1 time, there will always be a SECOND time, and so
forth.. once you get ur feets right up, you will began to look back
at your past n notice, how life could be good if you live life
optimistically..
Hope you notice your strengths, and dun keep looking at your
flaws.. Cheers.. =D
