I had a close friend, two of them and one of them is a
girl. Ok its like this, we treated ourselves
like siblings. The moment we argue we apologize soon
after or IF there's any argument, its will be a friendly type.
This is how close we are.
As years goes by, i going to NS soon and she is going
to study at NAFA. It hurts rather sad when we apart because we
spent so much time together. Best friends forever curse. Me her and
together with all our friends were like one patch. She and my other
close friend are the only ones that really help me thru the
trouble of relastionship of what i posted in the forum
quite a few times long ago. Now i finally got
a gf, thanks to my friends. And soon after, my close
friends also had a steady. Ok now this is where my pain
starts.
Dont know why but i recently get this sigh of emo
feeling whenever i saw her and her bf together. Its like i'm
thinking i should be that guy. I seriously dont get it, i got a gf
but i dont feel right. My happiness feeling
down whenever i saw her and her bf together. But when we
talk, its like the best moment. Then when i saw her bf
feed her with fries, i felt sad. dont know why. And i did the same
to my gf but it seems normal. Just out my laugh and smile but
deep down i felt nothing when i do that to my gf.
Is it me, did i miss the moment with my close friends? I mean we
are 19 years old now. We can't possibly be BEST friends
forever but i dont want that to happen but as if i had a
choice. We been friends for more than 5 years how can i got this
stupid feeling about her? pls help. Anyone of you got this
type of situation before? and what the hell is this feeling?
Grass is always greener on the other side.
Sometimes it does happen; especially when we assumed that life
will remain status quo forever and we adopt an inactive approach
towards the flow of life. Best friends may one day become causal
friends and causal friends might one day developed into best
friends; such impermanence nature of relationship is largely
decided by the nurturing of the friendship towards the direction
both seek to work towards.
You probably had a thing for her; just that passiveness took
away point of action. Perhaps in the past, the feelings manifested
itself as 'best friends' - but your conscious mind choose to stop
right there without risking to probe further than just the choice
of maintaining a great friendship.
It was a choice made. But it did not lapse into an issue because
your circumstances were different - she was single and you could
still enjoy a sizable amount of attention and concerns from
her.
But now the situation kinda evolved. Surely, both of you are
still good friends, but your position as a best friend is divided.
Perhaps it's a hierarchy lower. But even so, in a social context,
it is only natural and pretty much 'justified'. Your frustration
stemmed from the fact that you are unable to resolve this
internalization in view of such 'naturally justified social
position' and your emotions just react helplessly.
You were undergoing some relationship problems before you found
your current gf. And now that you had her, your subtle
dissatisfaction and normalization of feelings towards your woman
could signify that your love may be dubious. I am not questioning
the love that you share with her, rather, I am concerned with
regards to the circumstances that lead the formation of this
relationship.
There is always a danger in loving someone and not realizing if
there was the love you thought it was when you first acquired
it.
Like what Genie has mentioned, learn to lead a relationship and
not stick your head out and observe somebody else's. Such an
attempt only seek to reveal the nature of your love towards your
partner and upon correction, you might face an inevitable situation
of losing them because you don't see a need to develop it.
Cheers