Are there really fairness?

painfulcat SG

I am very disturbed by the law. From me problem, I was told that the man had rights to continue to cause me 'pain'.

He will be given a longer access to the children and not under supervision. He will be able to bring them out overnight. The thing is he had an affair and we had to divorce. But the law will give him equal rights. Huh??? Is law really fair? I had to see doc because of his infidelity, I had depression because of his infidelity. And now, I am told that he can take my children away from me.

Is the law trying to tell people that it is ok to have extra marital affair and they can get away with it no matter how much hurts and pains they had caused? If so, then what is the purpose of standing in front of a witness and vowed your marriage? If he can get away with this so easily, then what can stop him from doing it again?

Can someone enlighten me? I am quite disheartened by the 'fairness' of our law.

spaces SG

The law gives him rights only because he's the father of your children. But you know...if you migrate overseas...harder for him to visit...and in some cases...harder for him to find.

Take care of your own health. You need to be strong for your kids.

ThunderFbolt SG

i'm assuming this is regarding the custody of your children after a divorce from your spouse.

for this, you would have to prove that your spouse is incapable of providing proper care for your children or is dangerous around your children, or he does have the rights to view them, seeing how they are his children as well.

and regarding your question if "law trying to tell people that it is ok to have extra marital affair and they can get away with it no matter how much hurts and pains they had caused", basically, yeah. while an affair may be "morally" wrong, it isn't lawfully wrong to have an affair. at least, seeing how your spouse is the one who had the affair, you can have a bigger cut of the house?

mancha SG

The court see fairness from the point of the father and also the children, and of course also you.

Fairness doesn't mean you have to be happy, or even satisfied.

I am sure all the facts have been presented in court, and the judge made his decision according to the facts presented. Relevant facts, like your ex-spouse is the father of the children, and that he is a normal person, and is capable of looking after the children just as well as you. There is no record of his abusing or mis-treating the children. As well as details on your side.

And the judge made the best possible arrangements beneficial to the children.

x4dish SG

i think his case was strengthened by your medical and psychological problems.

the system doesn't always work, but it always has its reasons for working the way it does.

mancha SG

Family courts do not dispense punishments.

That is for the Criminal courts, if there is abuse or voilence.

Wacky Sung SG

I am very disturbed by the law. From me problem, I was told that the man had rights to continue to cause me 'pain'.

You made the choice to feel painful as nobody force you to marry him in the beginning.

The law never mention it is okay to have have extra marital affair but you gonna have proof such as hired a private investigator to spy on him to get those evidents to prove it to get your children back.

Can someone enlighten me? I am quite disheartened by the 'fairness' of our law.

Learn smart and act smart if you want your children back.Don't wait for people to hear your cries and pity you for your mishap.Don't let your emotion drive you to get matters work out right.

Darkseed73 SG

I really want to say something mean but I will control myself.

Stop thinking just YOU, YOU and YOU.

Your children needs their dad too! These days parents any small things divorce without thinking what happen to the children are so irresponsible. When you are depress does your children have food to eat? When u spend whole day crying, how do you think your children would feel?

You probably scarred your children for LIFE!!

Since you have chose to divorce and not any other solution and u have CHOSEN to take care of the children. Then do it! don't throw them to your parents or relatives just becos you are depress and sad etc be strong for them.

Now you are BOTH the mom and dad ~ remember that.

Don't go fuck with other men and ignore them pls ~ abuses starts from home always.

Wacky Sung SG

The victim of a broken marriage are always the children.Therefore think twice before you ever make any decision.I really hated to say a broken marriage often laid on one party because it take two hands to do the clapping.Blaming one another will never cease even you / he ever thinking of remarried.

Rock^Star SG

darkseed73 must be the husband of painfulcat. lol There are always 2 sides to a story.

Duncry SG

painful cat. I alway though i am the only one who is having this problem. What you had mention and ask is exactly the same as what i had ask 1 year ago. except that i am a guy. well.. but now i realise that my kid although the care and control is with me. I encourage my ex wife who commit adultery to visit my child as long as possible. children need both parent but it's also helpful that only one parent must have care and control when both parent spilt. there is no such thing as the child can share loyalty to both parent and love them equally. The party who got the care and control must make use of the opporunity to bond with the children. Sleeping beside the child every nite is one way. When she grow bigger , she will be close to you. When ur child is bond with you. even if the other parent spend take the child out for longer time more then u are comfortable with, eventually the child will think of his/her home. It important to tell you child that " this is your home, this is your home." so that no matter where the other parent bring her /him out. the child will know that eventually have to "go home". finally trust me... children need to at least can tell people that they still have both mummy and daddy. even through they can later said... but my daddy or mummy is not living together... the important thing is that .. they got mummy and daddy.

Wacky Sung SG

Why you don't consider to remarried to at least to complete a family so that your child still able to receive love from her step-mum.Most importantly your child,you and your future wife are able to accept one another.

jojobeach SG

I am very disturbed by the law. From me problem, I was told that the man had rights to continue to cause me 'pain'.

Can someone enlighten me? I am quite disheartened by the 'fairness' of our law.

Do not expect the law to punish your children because the marriage between you and your husband failed.

while you think you wants to take the children away from him, you are also taking the father away from the children.

Fidelity must come from the heart. Not from a whip nor a chain and ball.

If you believe in using your children to punish his wrongs. Then morally, you are not fit to have custody of the young, for it is expected you will corrupt their innocent heart with anger and hatred.

nightsky87 SG

Take his money every month alimony, still don't want to let him see his children? YOUR kids are living off HIS money. I laugh at the irony of the situation.

You have depression and yet you still want to take custody of the children? Are you even fit to be a parent?

Jojobeach allow me to reinforce what you've said to TS - "you are not fit to have custody of the young, for it is expected you will corrupt their innocent heart with anger and hatred."

Admin_Operator SG

the law is always fair! TS, i think u r the one with problem. Mind ur words. how can u doubt the law? god blessed u =)

jojobeach SG

At least your ex husband still wants to spend time with the children.

Anima85 SG

i just realise that even LAWS are not fair , so fark law alright