HELP! Problems with friends and co-curricular activities mem

BillaMax SG

Hi, allow me to introduce myself, I am Max and I am constantly detested by my schoolmates.

2010 is a new year and I am posted to a triple pure science combination so in term of academic I judge myself as quite well off.

However when it come to friendship I have a problem making friends. Allow me to explain

I was told by my co-curricular activity[cca] teacher that I will be awarded the president role of that cca mainly due to the fact that my current cca point is E8 and the criteria for my cca grade at Secondary 3 level is A2. However once that news is broken to the members of my cca group, almost everyone was against the idea for me being the president and a lot of members threaten me that if I were to be the president of the cca group they will quit instantly. [They are allowed to quit their second cca]

Such comment will hurt almost anyone, indeed I am not spared too. In the end I came out with a list of reasons why they hated me

1. Being too rude
(I sms all members that there will be a meeting etc however they are not appreciative at all but instead blame me for doing that or acting as president)

2. Being proud
(I have to admit, sometime I tend to boss around and I will try to change that)

3. I just joined the cca and I am given the president role
(Well... it is true, I do not have any experience regarding this cca but was given the president role naturally a lot of people will be angry)

I am really lost. I don't know what should I do to gain their trust. I am depressed, I really need the president role to boost my cca points which is very important but how do I change what the members think of me and accept me of being their leader?

What should I do? I really need your advice. Any advice will be deeply appreciated.

FireIce SG

go to the CCA teacher-in-charge for advice or mediation

and check ur EQ

and on the other hand (and on the bright side) these are things u experience in sch life so tt u can be better and tougher as u grow up....
worse sh!t than these will fall on ur head when u start work.

popikachu SG

To tell you the truth, I will quit too if I am in that CCA and you became the president just like that, because of a stupid reason, the critiria...

Being a president means you have to lead, in other words a leader...
And no one likes it when someone just come in and becoming a leader... And worst is, not because he is capable, but because he need the points...

People wants to become a president of a CCA too... And having a new guy, a stranger just taking away that post, the feeling sux. Even if someone wanted that position as a president but couldn't get it, they rather let someone the respect in their heart then some strangers...

A leader without anyone in the team, what's the use? If you really want to become the president in that CCA, you have to win them over first...

Show them that you are worthy to be their leader.

a leader is someone who is serve more then others,
a leader is someone who understand his members,
a leader is someone who respect his members more then himself,
a leader should be humble and not always thinking "I have these authorities because I am leader" and rather to have the thinking "I have to do this shits because I am the leader and I will serve more then others"...
And there are a lot a lot more to be a leader...

Go think about what is a true leader is...Think about what kind of leader you like.

Then, talk to them, and with that talk that conversation compromise with them, and use that chances to convinces them that you are worthy to be a leader to lead them.

How to talk to them, that's up to you... It's your job to know what to say to win people...
Put yourself in their shoes and think that what replies will you give to actually convince them, and think what are the replies they are going to give or what are the objectiong they are going to give and think for the answer for those... and think about what to say to prove that you are a leader... for them to follow you and not to quit that CCA.

Good luck.
Cheers.

MrSean SG

I 100% agree with your schoolmates that it is unfair that you should receive the role of president... It is not fair to those who have kept with the cca for so long that you should receive the top role because you disadvantaged yourself in the first place. (And therefore NEED it, but don't deserve it in ANY way.)

If I were you I would not blame your schoolmates for their opinion, but rather work extremely hard to show that you deserved the post. Build your cca up. Help your cca to win more competitions etc.

ChoCoChips SG

u dont have to step down, yet.

i think ur cca mates are just unsure about you.

people got eyes one,

if u have what it takes and u put in effort, someday they will accept u one la.

but tt is if u're prepared to kena alot of criticisms until ur effort pays off.

if u got watch shows hor

u will see many characters are liddat one

at first everyone hates him

then slowly slowly respect him and follow him liao

if fictional characters can do it, so can you.

hahahaha

jiayou

hatestupidppl SG

Yes. It is very unfair to your CCA mates to lose out on the opportunity and prestige of being a leader in a CCA simply due to the fact that you need it more, and not because you've earned it.

But, you can always try to fill the shoes and expectations of being the president of the CCA. Simply put, you will have to lead, as popikacho has said.

Be prepared to make sacrifices; that is something that leaders would do for the greater good of his community.