relationship advice

last SG · 2009-12-20T01:38:44+00:00

The solution lies in becoming self-fulfilled and the abilty to relate and share. Otherwise, one can go on chasing another, owning another one is bound to der...

azoboi SG

hihi all

can kind and experts in relationship able to intepret this, as im really at a loss of what she means and wants

I like this girl, but somehow after confession things seem to remain as friends. according to her, she feels she's not ready to go into a relationship. And can guys trust what girls say when they turn down a guy? like say be friendship for now.

What should I do?

regards

azoboi SG

in addition, she says dont want to risk a relationship now at the expense of frinedship? is this bullshit or true? and should i tell her i will wait for her or just walk away? i dont know if i should wait or not. Yes, i love her.

brainerror SG

hahas, sounds the same.just leave the girl and find another target.

azoboi SG

hmmm but i think i can't. she wants to 'take things slow'.. i dont know if the signals when she turn me down are positive or bluff. is it because of her or because of me? arghhh

WahahaT SG

if u love her, then wait for her. let her know u are always there for her. when she need someone, u will be there. when she alone, u will be there.

eeden. SG

most of the time,it means move on and find another girl.no harm waiting though (:

WahahaT SG

but from experience, waiting is better. let her feel and realise.

brainerror SG

well, let me ask, if you wait for a 6 months, then another year and then another year.
everyday, you wait.dont you think you could have had found someone else who is willing to go with you and let you love her too.
think about it.if she shows sign of not being interested, justl leave.no point hanging around.not worth your heart and time.
and, yes sometimes girls can be mean to make guys wait for their own selfishness; 'to see if the guy is good or not, so must test him first'.
so yeah.think about it.

Detached SG

Lol! She's not interested in you. Period.

Another variation of that is "It's not you, it's me"

azoboi SG

what if she says time will tell --> means?

xtreyier SG

Haha...

First of all, I am no relationship expert, otherwise I would be too busy with a harem to be here. Only posting to share a thought.

Usually, girls are more matured than guys, and she probably is more aware of her priorities, such as studies/work, projects, all matters related to education/career.

That she is telling you to take it slow is to let you know where you stand, and hopefully, you will accept and respect her views and remain friends, which I am sure she will treasure in time to come and if you are sincere and you really love her, her feelings for you may grow.

But if it doesnt, then know that love cannot be forced or grow in the shortest time. I am sure you still have a whole life ahead of you to find and experience what life can offer you.

In summary, dont attempt to possess her, make her your steady and disallow other guys near her. Love is not about possession. Love grows from sincere and genuine concerns by friendships, and it will be returned in kind if the feeling is mutual. Focus and help yourself in your studies/job and help her too.

Good luck!

Detached SG

what if she says time will tell --> means?

Time will tell that you're a fool if you wait

bigbad_wolf SG

it means you havent attracted her enough. when girls meet some guy they really like, tell me about "taking it slow" or "not ready" man.

TrueHeart SG

hihi all

can kind and experts in relationship able to intepret this, as im really at a loss of what she means and wants

What should I do?

regards

Hi azoboi,

May I know the age of your friend and you? If the two of you are still studying, then such a reply will not be surprising, especially if she aims to continue higher levels of education.

Nevertheless, if she starts to distance herself from you, it is likely that she has no interest in you, and has said what she said just to make you feel better. If she continues to treat you as a friend and remain close to you, then what I have mentioned in the previous paragraph is likely true.

Cheers.

MaNyZeR SG

NO NO NO NO NO!!!! Dont give up...

Sometimes the girl got interest in you de... just that she does not want to go into relationship with you so quickly, cause it will make her look like she can be gotten easily. By rejecting you, she can also see whether you really like her and you will still be there for her. If you leave her now, then to her it would mean that you arent serious about her at all, and only wanted to play play with her.

Sometimes girls do things opposite of what they want, you must see it for yourself. Sense it!! You must sense the way she rejected you, whether it was a direct rejection, simply not interested kind or the other kind in which she rejects you but does not indicate that she is not interested in you.

Its hard, but you will know, as in after your rejection and the girl does not shun you or wat, that probably means that she still likes you as a friend and you should still stay by her side and help her. If she totally ignores you and becomes a stranger to you, then its strong indication that she wants you to get lost and not give you anymore false hopes.

I got rejected twice before the girl I like became my gf. Sometimes persevere will get you the girl, whereas other times, no matter how hard you try, you are still alone. Good Luck!!

kilfer SG

the girl is not interested in a relationship with u, but she's keeping her options open.

u can still be friends with this girl. meanwhile, u're free to find other girls. maybe a better one will come along.

zwi12 SG

lol. same here. I like this girl, but i don't know if she likes me, one thing is that ppl always say that we are like a couple. matchedmaked in heaven. she treats me like a bf, but i did not tell her how i felt about her. so now she has a stead, but she treats me like how she usually does. I don't wish to repeat the same mistakes of others telling girls they like them at the early stage. so my advice...just wait, and stay by her. she will soon realise she can depend on you. and when she realise that, she will always depend on you and start to like you.

DRC SG

To TS

Do you have ever been in a relationship at all?

azoboi SG

@ DRC : No leh

based on all ur inputs, i think i will just wait then . But what if she already has friends by her side, den i stay would it be extra ?

azoboi SG

i do hope like what you all have said, sincerity will move her. but i think it will take a while i guess.