should grow closer or jst stay as friends?

DouglasBitMeFingerBoomz SG

hey guys im kinda in a dilemma and would appreciate your help. I know this girl since pri 3, but we were never really close friends until sec 1. then we started communicating thru fb and msn n sms n so on.

she also used to be my so called 'help' when i was going through my 1st relationship and break up. she was really there for me when i screwed up. I really felt that she would be a good friend but never really some1 i would have feelings for.

i never really developed any feelings for her until like last month. We have been constantly talking, daily convo etc. and we share certain secrets and gossip bout other people some times. She has always been showing smilies and kind words in msn and smses. I used to think that mayb she was trying to take it to another level, but i kind of halted her advances with more serious statements and '=.=' pissed offed attitude, coz i dint like her at tht time.

then last month, suddenly the feeling crept in, i'm not even sure if its real, bt my mind has become like obsessed with her, it's kinda freaky and i know its wrong to be such for a childhood friend and gossip partner. then i started to be rlly nice to her, (natural), i think she didnt really think anything bad about it. her messages and msn are still full of smilies and stuff.

i'm not sure if she just wants to be a friend or more than that, even i'm not sure of myself. . . i feel kinda angry at myself for liking her now bt kinda sad coz i tink our relationship wld prob nt work out, jst gt the gut feeling.

i've spent my last few nights crying, still thinking how i should confess to her, or even if i should...

somemore, i tink there's a guy who kinda likes her, he was like answering those quizzes on facebook then it asked if she was cute or pretty, then he wrote cute, then she was like 'bleh' and 'i'll bash u', so i'm not sure if she likes him back, coz if she does, i really don't think i should intrude into their 'soon-to-be' relationship, after all if she's happy, that's okay with me...

somebody pls give me their opinion and help ty.

P.S: go watch 'She's the One' by Robbie Williams

THANKS lotss :D

TrueHeart SG

i've spent my last few nights crying, still thinking how i should confess to her, or even if i should...

somebody pls give me their opinion and help ty.

P.S: go watch 'She's the One' by Robbie Williams

THANKS lotss :D

Hi Douglas,

Firstly, you should make certain of your own feelings. It is important to know whether you have truly fallen for her, or you are simply worried that this guy will take her away from you. Although you tell yourself it is okay if she is happy, but your own tears tell another story altogether.

However, I will suggest that you do not attempt to enter a relationship so soon, given that the both of you are only 14. You should know well enough with your previous relationship how difficult it is to maintain one at your current age. It is for the best that the two of you maintain your friendship for the moment, and only bring it further when both of you are older.

Cheers.

NickL_C151 SG

i've spent my last few nights crying, still thinking how i should confess to her, or even if i should...

somemore, i tink there's a guy who kinda likes her. i'm not sure if she likes him back, coz if she does, i really don't think i should intrude into their 'soon-to-be' relationship, after all if she's happy, that's okay with me...

Normal part: It's not wrong to fall for a childhood friend. But be careful, "smilies and stuff" doesn't mean anything, unless she's not been using it then suddenly she started spamming it.

Italics part: Erm, while you're thinking you're already crying? Then I suggest you not to start this at all, I don't think you'll be able to take the emotional roller coaster. And if you really like her, you'll want her to be happy, even though you won't have her.

DouglasBitMeFingerBoomz SG

okie dokie thanks lots Very Happy

wow u guys realy quite fast responders

lonestar86 SG

Hi Douglas,

Cheers.

agree.

"i've spent my last few nights crying, still thinking how i should confess to her, or even if i should..."

like what i've always said, learn to control your emotions. do not allow your emotions to control u.

HeartHunter SG

Even if you really really love her (I mean the romance thing, not just lust and stuffu), that doesn't mean:

1) She understands what exactly you are feeling.

2) You understand the costs/benefits of a relationship at such a age.

3) You understand on how to handle more raw forms of emotions.

4) There are alot of people involved, not just you and her, and other people (i.e. parents, schoomates, etc.).

and others....

Well, it might seem lame to you to suggest that you shut the f*** up and hide your emotions, I would rather suggest you actually write it out somewhere (i.e. journal if you lack the guts), or perhaps just simply tell her your feeling though personally I CLEARLY do not encourage of such a relationship.

If you experience rejection of sorts after a confession, handle it like a man, cry in private if you must, but I rather see you putting it down as 'another entry' into the diary. The world is vast and your chances are numerous.