bettering yourself

dracas SG

Does any1 have the same thinking like me? In the past, I thought having lots of friends were good, erm like being popular and stuffs like that. U know, like trying to be nice to everybody, doing stuffs for them. shits like such. But eventually after graduation, everybody start to diverge their own paths and nobody keep in contacts with one another another really. Then I realise, all of these so-called memories, happy memories are so illusional. Yea, they might be fun but the quote says "memories are beautiful but that's all they are". It really shook me hard.

And slowly I began to stop really try indulge in all these stupid stuffs, and began on improving myself in every ways possible. Like getting distinction in every school modules, mastering skills in martial arts, honing skills in painting, public speaking. Man..I nvr felt more accomplished than all these. I figured if I could use all the time used to hang out idly with friends in the past, I could have accomplished much more!!! How true is tis! It do sounds abit superficial but I just cant help it. so much so that whatever I do now, I judge before is it of advantage to me. But I guess its still better than the me in the past, always being below others in terms of rank and social hierarchy.

pheeoner SG

I can never decide if I should indulge in more time with my friends or to self-improve.

But yes I agree with you. With more time for yourself, there's really so freaking much more you can do.

dracas SG

Hi pheeoner,

I used to think like that, play over work. But now i have this mindset that.....if i go spend more time with friends e.g. idling, tok cock, shit stuffs, when everything finish, I will like wtf have I been doing? Yea...some sort like time-waste. Well unless with ur friend, you can learn sumthing valuable then ok.

But if spend time on self-improving, i could feel my strength growing day by day. Cos I see some of my friends I get really scared as in most of them are like a few yrs older than me, nearing late 20's already. But they are still like indulging in such stuffs, with no major accomplishments. Its not wrong (sorry if I offend anybody). but I feel if I could just divert most of the time to myself, I would have accomplish much more.

ulquiorra87 SG

I so totally agree with you.. Right now my life is all about productivity and spending time with friends i respect. I don't so much keep in touch with those who very regularly ask me to play games or do nothing

dkcx SG

We do live in a social world so u can't just always live alone and do everything on ur own, disregarding the others around you.

Its better to learn how to manage ur time to give some time to socialising as well as time to do whatever you would like to do. Striking the balence is the thing most people have problems with cos most lean too much to either extremes.

dracas SG

Its like I start to filter who are worth being with and who are not. Like I dun really like to talk to ppl who waste their time and life away, or ppl who doesnt strive for higher purposes. Cos it reminds me of the weak me inthe past.

I also dun really keep in contacts with old friends unless they are really worth to keep. Like so what if keep in contact and chat with them on msn, facebook? reminisce about the past? what good would that do? After that then? Everybody goes back to their own life. It would be good to spend all these time to accomplish so many things when young in terms of career, studies and achievements. Want to reminisce wait until everything settled, high-flying career with high social status.

Thats why I cant stand ppl who for no reason go out "tok cock" few times a week. Man, that doesnt really help things ya. If one could spent all their cock-talking, game-playing, mirc, msn chatting hours to devote myself to higher self improvement purpose, one would achieve so much more.

dkcx SG

If u feel this way, theres a chance u might regret it later in life when u suddenly realise u need friends but have little or none around u.

At ur age u would not see their importance but alot of times friends are the best sources of contacts and with more friends, u widen ur reach for information as well as help into alot more areas than someone with less friends.

Until see have a need for them, u won't appreciate their prescence. Like the chinese saying 身在福中不知福

TrueHeart SG

Hi dracas,

I understand what you mean. You are only interested in keeping people with the same ideology as you around yourself.

I will not say that you are wrong to do so, for many people only keep like-minded people as their friends. But please do remember that though a lot of people do otherwise, one should not treat his/her friends as clothings which can be discarded when they have outlive their usefulness.

Cheers.

dracas SG

Hi all,

I appreciate all of the postings but take a look, in facebook, I have like 100++ friends. But so far I can count on my fingers how many I interact actively with. Many of them were very gd friends, played together, studied together but now, eevrybody are leading their own lives, nobody really gives a shit. Oh even if you have build strong bonds with them in the past, all these disappear with time. Only your own accomplishments doesnt disappear, in fact, it will make you a stronger person.

I duno..perhaps its a matter of being goal-orientated. In the past, I think too much of having fun and after stepping out into society to work for a yr with low qualification, I begin to realise all these things doesnt matter. What matters is to strive hard for oneself, work damn hard and attempt to scale up the social ladder step by step. And of cos, in order to do that, one must pay a price. Not to the pt of alienation of ppl around you but rather filtering these ppl to retain the ones who could help you grow and learn from each other. Those who dun, just chuck them away. Oh I feel so superficial but I still believe in the theory that "You become most like the ppl you spend most of your time with". I just refuse to stay a loser anymore. Haiz.

dkcx SG

Hi all,

If thats ur stand and view of things, i won't try to change it since every person is different and have their own needs, thoughts, experiences.

To me friends are not people who are there for u to take advantage of or people who have uses to u only. There will always be a closer group of friends that i can confide in etc but there will be a larger group of friends i can carry out casual chat with, share different experiences etc.

Its the people that are different from u that can share with you something you have never tried or experience to increase ur knowledge etc. Only knowing people who have the same interest etc as u will sort of limit ur exposure to everything else that might be going around the world.

RETARDED_MORON SG

Took you so long? I've been keeping up that mindset ever since I was 15 years old and it has served me extremely well all along. To hell with "work-life balance"; if something is significantly more important than another thing, I might as well focus my efforts just on the former and let the latter take its own course. One's resources are limited anyway.

The fact is that there aren't probably a lot of people out there who are worth your time, effort and commitment. These so-called friends are just socially dependent people who need you to satisfy their short-term, recurring socio-emotional needs. They are not out there to make lasting friendships with you, nor do most of them have the maturity and understanding of relationships to build sustainable connections with other human beings, even if they wanted to.

A truckload of other priorities call for your attention, especially if you -- like me -- have an inherent insecurity of being inferior to others, of feeling that you aren't maximising your self-potential. Don't waste your time doing shit things and then find yourself waking up one day in your thirties and forties, wondering where all your years had gone to and realising that you haven't accomplished shit in life while many of your peers have moved way ahead of you. Conversely, you probably won't find yourself waking up one day and regretting that you didn't have more fun.

Make the right choice and stick to it. If you have ambitions, e.g. you want to excel in your academics, you want to be a great guitar player, you want to start a company, you want to be an investment whiz, you want to lead a healthy, bodybuilder lifestyle, you want to raise useful kids, you want to write a book, etc., start now.

ƒlame SG

Ah yes, I was like you a few months ago.

»¤ Liquified ¤« ... SG

TS makes it sound like for him, studying and improving himself is just a way to run away from the fact that he cant make new friends >_>

may i tell you that game playing isn't a stupid thing? there are people who actually earn money playing games and reviewing them, also, gaming is actually a way to connect with other players in the world, hello? u nid to improve your social skills if you even want to work in a higher position in your work place =/ people with high IQ but low EQ normally work for people who have average IQ but high EQ..

man i hate people who look down on people who resemble his past...no offense...

RETARDED_MORON SG

TS makes it sound like for him, studying and improving himself is just a way to run away from the fact that he cant make new friends >_>

man i hate people who look down on people who resemble his past...no offense...

What's required in the "work place" is networking skill, not just any vague social skill. The "gamer" social skills are useless when it comes to negotiations, persuasion and building professional rapport.

dracas SG

Like I said, make new friends so what? You can have like 1000 friends but how many can you really count as true ones? Beside the time spent on interacting with these ppl would be much much better off on improving myself instead. As I improve, I began to see and attract ppl who had the same mindset like me, wanting to achieve excellence. This sorta got infectious as we began to emulate one another's strong points and enhance mutual learning.

In fact it was game-playing which almost flunk my studies. From final fantasy to action games, I was superb at them, ya know, leveling up my characters to lvl 99, max stats everything. But when I come to realise wtf is that for? I just spent 1 whole month gaining exp pts for my character when I could gain the "exp pts for myself"! And then the game trend died down, nobody bothers how "powerful" ur virtual character is anymore. And as far as I know those who really succeed in life dun really play games to "improve EQ" ya. I seen some of my friends, nearing 30s still playing games for more than 5hrs each day and complaining about low pay and shitty jobs.

Yea I agree with what retarded_moron has said. I cant just waste time doing silly things anymore, cos by the time I realized it, another year would have flew by. And the thing is every since I realized these 2yrs ago, in these 2 yrs, I have achieved much more than the past 20yrs of my life. Its just a desire to ascend the peak. I duno how this happened but it sorta just woke me up.

And yes hahaahahha, I always didnt wake up and regret I didnt have more fun in the past, BUT I always f*cking wake up and regret I didnt work harder in the past. Man f*ck so true.