There was an event that left an indelible scar, helped
shape my future reactions in the event of confusion or betrayal,
when I was 18, young, naive and clueless...
For years, my best buddy for years, my steady gt and I
always went out together over weekends. We spent
enjoyable times, and never did believe in 'lamp-post theory. We
were close, very close. My buddy and I never had any jealousy
over my steady gf. He was closer to me than my brother and was
like a brother to my steady gf.
One day, during my NS in-camp BMT, I received a 'Dear John'
call from my gf. Guess my best buddy took my words ' To take
good care of my gf' too literally. My world crashed, and trust
in others lost.
I shut down my emotions, and didnt care about anything, just
simply followed orders, which fortunately BMT helped
me. I was the cold emotionless one, doing things others fear
or would hesitate, no questions asked.
In that state was where i hid, to find solace and comfort from
hurt, but it was dark and lonely.
I am glad you realized the loneliness as I
found out and want to get out of it. It is never good to
remain in that state, for no human is meant to live lonely lives.
It is friends that add colour to your journey of life.
However, the first step out of it is to regain confidence
in yourself. Do small things and assure yourself you are capable of
achieving success, before moving on. Look in the mirror, smile and
love yourself. You are not a loser and never were. Your own success
is guaranteed by your birth.
Out of hundreds of would be brothers and sisters, you won the
race to be born.
Next step is to mix with others. No one is perfect or a mirror
image of you. There are still more good people around than bad, and
characteristics are relative and only a perception of how you
relate to them or how they can relate to you, as friends and
companions along the roller coaster journey of life.
Ultimately, it is self confidence to destroy insecurity. It is
your life and only you can achieve it. No one else can do it on
your behalf. You are never a loser unless you allow others to
dictate/label you as one or act it out on your own free
will.
Only when you start believing in yourself can you begin to live.
We humans are not perfect, make mistakes and it is from it that we
learn and mature.
Good luck.
