Ok i just broke up . And i was wondering how do some people
actually be friends with their ex ?
Isn`t it difficult being friends with ur ex when you see him or
her and think then of the times you guys spent together ?
Am i not being to open about this ? But i really cant be friends
with any of my ex. It`s hard after all that`s been said and done
then in the end just ended up being friends .
So wise people out there pls tell me if there`s anyway i could
change this thinking of mine ?
It depends on your personal belief on how
you define 'friendship' and a 'relationship'. Of course, to
most effective way to get along with life is to sever all means of
contacts with the person. But the catch is that ultimately,
such physical measures must be reinforced with other initiatives
taken (reorganizing focus in life, getting to know new people,
engage in new hobbies, etc), as well as a change in perspective -
or it will result in sheer pointlessness akin to a breeze walk
in a park.
One very important concept is to be constantly 'aware' of
your thoughts and emotions, instead of relying on your
subconscious to provide grounds for your feelings. The
problem with most people is that they often decide that 'we
will still remain as friends' but they would unconsciously
behave and think that their position are worth than just
that of a friend. The discrepancy in reality will force you to
become miserable, almost like me dangling a cheese burger in
front of your eyes, while you being consumed by an innate
hunger.
Your circumstances creates an inability for you
to grab that wonderful burger and gorge it, without being
subjected to some form of love transgression.
This creates immerse emotional frustration and
suffering.
It's impossible for a downgrade to occur (from a
relationship to a friendship), with all other factors
remaining the same. Even the most amicable breakup will
probably experience some sort of subtle shift in adjustment, as
well as perceived rights and position.
And the truth is that not everyone is capable of being able
to remain friends with their ex-lovers - you see, some people just
can't do that and I just want to tell you that it's
normal/natural because people are developed differently in
love (Without natal chart analysis, it's usually more problematic
for Taurus, Leo, Aquarius & Scorpio).
Your choice of action must be in sync with the
understanding of yourself - if you know that you belong to the
category of people that just cannot remain as friends, then
constantly putting yourself in situation, in which you
KNOW you can't handle will only result in greater
paroxysm of pain. Seriously, it's more than just a change in
thinking - it actually involves your own personal values and
beliefs, which is something that might not be as
readily subjected to changes.
P.S: We learn more about ourselves through both
the birth and death of our relationship. It acts as a mirror that
reflects the state of condition about ourselves - the
blind spots that we are unaware of. As we engage in
introspection, we will begin to realize that we learn more
about ourselves, than that of our partner/s. 
Cheers
