Lets see things from the perspective of a 50+ year old man.
He is Singaporean. Lived his whole working life in
Singapore.
Everyday go to work, constantly under stress about livelyhood
and punctualilty.
Not much enjoyment, excitement, entertainment.
Marathon beer drinking session, girly bars, Desker Road,
Bugis Street, are all things of the youth, it all ended
when he got married and started living in a flat.
Life become humdrum, only work for income, so that the family
may eat, and keep up with the Tans (Jones) for practically the
whole of his life.
Then come this sweet young thing. Who would talk to him.
Who would not insult him, or humilate him, or challenge him or
critise him. Fair, and soft to the touch. The feeling in him is
something he had not felt in decades. Infatuated or in love, he
can't tell the difference, but anyway he does not want to lose it.
He wants to revel in it.
Him bringing her home is serious. He is not playing hankypanky
any more.
Asking him to give her up is asking him to give up the
pleasurable feeling that he has missed for years and years, and is
now having. Difficult but not impossible.
Best bet is to keep cool (with negotiation in mind).
Avoid arguments, talking sense into him, revenge, chopping etc.
Keep cool and see what he wants, and work out a settlement. He
brought the girl to the home, that shows that he is
a reasonable fellow. He is displaying his obligation to the
new found girl. So all is not lost. Safe guard yourself.
Split in anger with nothing, or splilt amicably with a
settlement.
Let him have a life. Poor fella slogged all his life, and if he
chooses to enjoy himself at the risk of his life
savings, so be it.
Hello Mancha..... are you already 50+ ?
You speak with such familiar and intimate knowledge on the
experience of a 50+ "old" man (????)...... : )
Sadly, it was indiscreet of him to bring the mistress home, and
he should have not hurt his entire family in the process.
Living the life in his new world
of escapist pleasure would have been far better then creating
new or even increasing the stress levels all round for himself
and everyone in his family.
Then again, something must have caused the deterioration in the
existing husband and wife relations that caused the man to be so
detached to his family - and to bring the new woman home.
If there is no other way out in his relationship with his
wife, and if he intend to start a new life - who else can be
in his position to decide except himself ?
It is silly and childish for the TS to think that violence
to the other woman will solve anything - and without thinking of
the consequences to oneself and to the mother.
Obviously, he did not learn from the experience of the factory
supervisor who got involved with a China girl who worked as a
factory hand, and was infatuated with her to the point that the
China girl felt it was best to end the relationship as he was
already married and she found someone closer to her own age and
single too.
It was unfortunate that the factory supervisor could not contain
the violent cocktail of anger, hatred and jealosy that led him
to murder a young woman, and chop her up into different
multiple parts for disposal all over Singapore.
In the end, he was tracked down by the Police, tried in court,
and sentenced to death - bringing more pain and shame to the
surviving members of his family.
To the TS - violence solve nothing; neither does anger or
hatred.
Get over the emotional shock quickly.
This is the time for growing up and a test of truly being an
adult.
Keep cool, keep the entire situation in perspective,
calmly find out what are the issues involved and what possible
solutions can there be.
Perhaps divorce may not be necessary, and life can continue with
two families co-existing under different roofs - as had occurred in
the time of our fore-fathers, when two families even live under the
same roof - peacefully.
That is if your father can afford to have two families ?