lost that feeling?

jojobeach SG

wow thanks for all the feedback and stuff lol i cant help it but laugh over all the impotent talk thanks to jojo yea...

but well.. its not that I don't have that drive... its just.. yea maybe i dun feel as much thrill as compared to when we just started(my sex drive is relatively moderate i guess... once a day provided im not tied down by work?).. thats why i cant really classified myself as impotent or sick of sex(like i say i need to use my imagination to get hard while doing it).. I have no such problem with my previous gfs thats why Im always wondering whats so different between them.. (im not comparing them in terms of performance im as confuse as well why it happen this way)

maybe its a case of doing too much.. shall stop for awhile then..

(shes sensitive if we didt do every one or two days she will think i lost interest in her) lol I dun wan her to feel sad....

btw bubbly im 99.9% not G.

actually I am already sick of repeating the relation cycle, maybe Im at a stage to settled down pretty soon, therefore I actually am looking more at a stable relation rather than quick fix at this point of time..

maybe its up and down for any relationship (hopefully)

but sometimes I ask myself if shes the one that i really wanan be with for life? maybe you call me unfaithful or what but when it comes to this theres always a few names in my mind other than her.. hence causes my confusion.. I certainly did not cheat on her or anything but when it come to finding the suitable one for life shes not the only girl that is in my mind..

I hate this feeling of other girls in my mind while having a relationship.. i'm not prepared to lose her (in fact thats why I've not been contacting any FEMALE outside my family esp that few close friend, ex gf whom i think are great...)

well well.... PS: im not impotent......

Dude, just be honest with yerself lah.

Your current gf is not the ONE.

Don't marry her just becors you cannot find a better replacement lah.

Your heart is still seeking for the one soul mate.

Let go, so the new one may come.

Be truthful to your current mate, don't hurt her with your lies.

A woman will understand that you are not ready for a lifetime with her. As she too wants to find someone who will be hers forever. Since that man not be you, then so let it be someone else.

Forbiddensinner SG

but sometimes I ask myself if shes the one that i really wanan be with for life? maybe you call me unfaithful or what but when it comes to this theres always a few names in my mind other than her.. hence causes my confusion.. I certainly did not cheat on her or anything but when it come to finding the suitable one for life shes not the only girl that is in my mind..

I hate this feeling of other girls in my mind while having a relationship.. i'm not prepared to lose her (in fact thats why I've not been contacting any FEMALE outside my family esp that few close friend, ex gf whom i think are great...)

Are these few names you are thinking about those of your ex-gfs?

If that is the case, then there is nothing unusual with it. I won't say it is right to think of other girls when you already have one beside you, but that is what a lot of men do. They will keep reminiscing about the good times they have with their exs, and honestly speaking, it is impossible to totally forget about all these.

On to the topic of settling down, are you truly ready to settle down yet? From the looks of your current situation, I will say that you are not ready yet. Your mind hasn't settled down yet, and thus neither will your heart.

Give yourself some time to think it over, and ask yourself : "Am I ready to fully commit myself?" If you are not, then I suggest you stop thinking about settling down anytime soon.

jojobeach SG

Aiyah.. fantasizing about another person other than your partner is very common.

Tell you a secret that's not really a secret lah. Females also fantasise about other hunks when they having sex with their gf/hubby de lah.

But, if that fantasizing is affecting PERFORMANCE with your partner .. then something is wrong already lah.

Now tat you know the secret, don't be so stupid to ask your partner who he/she fantasizing during sex hor.

The ex gf you think so great about.. unfortunately don't think so greatly about you leh. If not ah.. she won't be your ex already lah. So go back and guai guai be a good bf lah. OK ? Good.

Juliedified SG

It seems to me that both of you have reservations about the relationship and need an evaluation of where things are going and to suss out each other's expectation. Have a good talk with her. If break-up is inevitable, there is nothing you can. A short "time-out" is probably helpful to find out what is missing. Good luck.

Fugazzi SG

actualization~

What a misnomer and an anomaly lah - u - i m refering to your stance when your so-called relationship(s) are concerned.

My take is this lah- the exploitation of each other has peaked and there is nothing left to hold it except be torn asunder by all these rationalizations and apportioning blame on some many factors or the past.

Know this lah - love knows no reasons, knows no fears and love only then abides!

One who can relate to ONEself (one's being) is just one who will always seek out another. Seek out another - but acknowledg this weakness, this deficiit, this paucity - otherwise its doomed from the start and the wise would understand this (these) and RELATE!

actualization~ SG

lol fugazzi why add in all the lah, le, lo, when u can piece up such powderful ingles hmm?? :D

well i didt call myself actualization in the sense that im already enlightened its more of what I desired for... so dun pick on it already yea lol..

"Know this lah - love knows no reasons, knows no fears and love only then abides!"

who in the real world actually experience this or seen this in place after the age of 16?(It true but i guess its not the way it work)

well anyway after much reflection I concluded that maybe its not the relationship thats having a problem but more of my static life.. ( i really have problem putting life in place..) maybe becos of that I am looking for that gush of feeling....(mid life crisis? haha im not that old yet)

-forbidden: yea maybe its not the right time to speak of settling down thanks for yr advice

-jojo: LOL yea i will guai guai so... stop bashing me already your making me depress lol its also not my fault that i wanted to have EXs rite?

(shes hot and sexy but we cant communicate) = ex

(shes my soulmate but nothing else except our soul is bonded) = ex

(shes cute and we can communicate well but she had a communication breakdown with my wallet for it cant cough out a ride worthy of her) = ex

(everythings in place but her mom hates me) = EX T_T

i will be guai guai this time........

jojobeach SG

actualization~

What a misnomer and an anomaly lah - u - i m refering to your stance when your so-called relationship(s) are concerned.

Know this lah - love knows no reasons, knows no fears and love only then abides!

Fuggy, can you explain "RELATE" in layman term ?

Your advise are wise but rather grandiloquent for young people lah.

Wise words are great tools. To maximise benefits, one must know the meaning of each component , yes ?

jojobeach SG

Actualization,

That gush of feeling ?

Know that it is just a chemical reaction in your body.

You have an addiction to phenyl ethylamine. The love drug your brain produces when you fall in love.

But lacks Dopamine and norepinephren to stay connected in your relationship.

And also, you don't produce enough oxytocin during intimate sessions with your partner and thus lack the will to carry out your manly duties.

However, you have no problem with producing Vasopressin, as it seems you do have the ability to remain monogamous in a relationship.

Therefore, as you can see, you are just suffering from chemical unbalance.

Forbiddensinner SG

lol fugazzi why add in all the lah, le, lo, when u can piece up such powderful ingles hmm?? :D

well i didt call myself actualization in the sense that im already enlightened its more of what I desired for... so dun pick on it already yea lol..

"Know this lah - love knows no reasons, knows no fears and love only then abides!"

who in the real world actually experience this or seen this in place after the age of 16?(It true but i guess its not the way it work)

-forbidden: yea maybe its not the right time to speak of settling down thanks for yr advice

-jojo: LOL yea i will guai guai so... stop bashing me already your making me depress lol its also not my fault that i wanted to have EXs rite?

(shes hot and sexy but we cant communicate) = ex

(shes my soulmate but nothing else except our soul is bonded) = ex

(shes cute and we can communicate well but she had a communication breakdown with my wallet for it cant cough out a ride worthy of her) = ex

(everythings in place but her mom hates me) = EX T_T

i will be guai guai this time........

You will get use to him/her in time to come.

He/She always post stuff which are in that style.

You sure have a lot of interesting ex-gf, but your current gf is different, isn't she? Instead of finding reasons to separate yourself from her, find reasons to keep the two of you together.

Fugazzi SG

Thanks for the insightful rant. Anyway, what I said is not cast in stone - all that i espouse is relative truth not absolute. As such, take the tumbles and cruise along - and if u can (which i m sure u want to) just live and grow UP on the way as opposed to growing OLD.

Jojo,

Relate - I am merely using love as an eg, as its a universal phenomenon. Being love is poetry in motion. Being angry, Being kind, Being rude .... n imagine what ensues. It is present and continuous.

Relationship - no longer in motion. It has become a thing and it is used and put aside and used again n .... many forget that a person is a flux - evolving , changing. A thing, eg, a chair in your room is dead - no change, its finished. It can only be improved on the outside, encrusting, decorating ...

Of course, relating is difficult cos the element of certainty is not there. There is no security.One never knows if the other (person) or situation is going to stay as it is or change. Hence the anxiety and insecurity. That is the reason why one quickly wants to make it secure - how? relationship.

how one relates to another, whether its a spouse, at workplace or ... does eventually add or diminish the quality of one's relationship with ....

EarlNeo SG

can alway intro her to me....

she and me not yet have those feeling.... sure havent lost it yet....

actualization~ SG

lol now the problems lies on chemical? omg lol ok give me a dose of everything

well i cant say all the solutions given by you guys are helpful haha because i spend more time laughing than thinking about it..

but well thanks alot guys it actually give a pointer or two.. and yea one thing for sure is I must really put all my memories to where it belong yea lol.. (its really hard when sometimes your memory come alive and call you suddenly telling you they still care about you and staying in this controlling relation will ruin you etc etc lol)

sometimes i felt they are like getting all competitive just to make sure they still can strike an impact in your heart even after breaking up.. then they will retire happily = = i think thats sick... all girls do that? hahaha (oh man i cant resist even though i know that)... they are very good in it (you will understand when your in my situation haha) actually they are all the same kinda character.. those exs

sweat* (maybe this kinda char is my cup of tea lol)

its like they are telling me (*self interpret) hey don't be weak you will be no one puppet and you will be nice to no one except me~~ LOL thats hw i see it.. though the method they use is different...

girls are evil hahaha

Forbiddensinner SG

lol now the problems lies on chemical? omg lol ok give me a dose of everything

well i cant say all the solutions given by you guys are helpful haha because i spend more time laughing than thinking about it..

sweat* (maybe this kinda char is my cup of tea lol)

girls are evil hahaha

By posting this here, you will seriously die very fast. Trust me on that.

If an ex were to try her very best to prove her worth before breaking up with you, that means she wants to show to those around that the reason why the relationship failed is because of you instead of her.

The last line you typed doesn't help in showing what kind of man you are......

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