bastards at work

L.lawliett79 SG

A few things have happened at work, but somehow I'm happier now that it has happened..

The 'biggest' thing that happened is that we fell out with another colleague. 'We' are me and another Chinese girl. The colleague is a filipino girl.

What happened in the lab was all her fault. I mean even though yea, we mistakenly left her behind (more about that later), we apologised to her after that. And you know what? Her sms read "it's okay =))". But apparently it wasn't okay, because the next day she started ignoring us, from the very first time we saw her that morning, she just ignored us both. I already sensed she was gonna do something like this (it's not the first time she's showing that kind of stupid fucked-up attitude), so I didn't say or do anything, didn't even say 'hi' to her. Although I wouldn't have ignored her if she didn't ignore us first. And the other Chinese girl, she said 'hi' to the filipino. She got a dirty look in return. And, at lunch that day, the Chinese girl offered the filipino some of her lunch. And the latter gave her a dirty look.

I mean, "WTH?!" F-ed up larh.

My take on things is like that: whatever attitude someone gives me, I give back. If possible, double or even triple. So, I ignored her.

She's taking things another step further. Making it worse. In lab, whilst we are doing our work, she keeps making unnecessary noise, like singing damn loudly, talking damn loudly and 'happily' (?!), and talking to others (whom she's making use of) damn sweetly, the very annoyingly 'teh' (act-cute) way.

And she even kept kicking her table to make noise. The back of our table is a metal sheet, so kicking it is making annoying noises. Hell.

What was our 'fault'? Okay me and my Chinese friend were rushing to the MRT after getting off the bus after work. The filipino was following us. She was slow, and me and the Chinese girl rushed into the MRT train when we saw it, and turned back looking for her. Couldn't find her, cos there were so many people. It was only after the door closed that we saw her, and she saw us too. I caught that 'microexpression' of annoyance flitting across her face. Then she rearranged her features into a very fake smile and waved us goodbye. Afterwhich, my friend messaged her "sorry we left you behind, we didn't know you were so far away from us. Sorry, we see you tomorrow" or something to that effect. It was an apology!! And the next day my friend also apologised to her.

Gawd, what a childish person (the filipino). This isn't the first time she did something like this.

The first was, she ignored the filipino guy (used to be the 4 of us hanged out together, like talking during our free times, lunching together). And the reason being? "He didn't talk to me so I'm not talking to him." Argh, that day when she decided to start ignoring him, he was very very very busy. This 'cold' war lasted a month. They made up in the end. It was the guy who took the initiative. Not the girl. And, the girl was shouting so loudly "I miss him!! I want to go out with him, I want to sit with him." So fake.

The second? It was me who kena-ed the 'cold' war. Not my fault okay. The 4 of us arranged to go Sentosa on a Sunday. Then, on that day itself, when I reached HarbourFront, I was waiting for them. Then I got a message from my Chinese friend, saying she and the guy couldn't contact the filipino girl. So the trip off. And what, the filipino girl messaged me 30 MINUTES AFTER THE ARRANGED MEETUP TIME saying "outing cancelled. you know?" I replied, "no. what happened." Her message "I duno, they cancelled." She's blaming them! Without a word of sorry. I knew she just woke up. Because the day before (Saturday), she was supposed to entertain her visiting fellow countrymen and take them to Sentosa. No responsibility to message us the night before to at least say, "I'm tired, maybe tml not going with you guys."

Well the next day (Monday) she ignored me. I was pissed off and ignored her as well, cos I can't be bothered to go and por(mollycoddle) someone who's in the wrong. I heard from my Chinese friend that she took 2 days to persuade the filipino to talk to me. And how did the filipino 'apologise'? "Hey! Why you never talk to me for so long ah?" T_T she said it in a 'joking' manner to 'hint' that she's "not in the wrong". WAHHH

And I'm the type of person, when I know of something good, I'll tell my friends about it if I knew they were looking out for that. For eg, I told her about the IT fair cos she was asking around about it. And I told her, "if you know any sales, tell me! I want to buy stuff!" she said 'okay', but she didn't keep that promise. I know. I found out. I hate people like that. I already openly told her what I'm looking for, she had the info, couldn't be bothered to share.

Alot of times also, she 'made appointments' with me to go out, never keep them. And she never take responsibility to tell me, like even on that day itself. I knew she would break the appointment. But I just kept quiet for the whole day to see if she would tell me. She didn't. A whole day working in the SAME PLACE and she can't be bothered to tell me. So at the end of the day I said, 'we going out right?' she said 'no, sorry I going out with my BF'. I asked, 'when did you confirm you going out with him?'. She said 'yesterday'. Never apologised. T_T

Alot, alot of times. I gave her chanceS. (Note the plural) Normally my first impression of a person is right. I got the impression (When I first got to know her) that she wasn't good. There's no reason, just an instinct. But I chose to give her chances. Which she didn't treasure.

So okay, I give up. I'm happier now. I don't have to pretend I like her. It was tiring.

She's the type of person who'll bitch about others when she's in the wrong. I bet (and I have the feeling) she bitched about us to the Manager, saying it's our fault that caused the rift. (the manager noticed the 4 of us have now become 2-2) I know it, because that's how I'm like. Her behaviour and mine are the same, when we are annoyed. (I don't act as fake and as 'friendly' as she is though.) I know I'm annoying when I act like that. I just didn't know how bad. Now that I'v seen, I feel I really gotta change and be more aware of my behaviour.

I sound like such a bitch. But who wouldn't? If they had a 'friend' like that?

And then, the guy joined in. So now we have double trouble. The two of them gang up to do stuffs to annoy the both of us chinese. For me, I really heck care, because I was the one who brought up the matter to manager and complained about them, dun think they also dare to cause too much trouble. In the first 8 mths before this happend, I was with them and amongst us all the two of them always tease me cos I 'let them bully' me. Den now they irritate me i go bite them back.

An MCP and a witch. I'm resigning. The MCP dares to make trouble but dare not face it. He dare not face me when I'm angry. The witch only dares to make trouble when the MCP is around. What weaklings. Want to make trouble, they shouldn't have to wait for 'backing' what... My gawds...

~N3RD~ SG

WOT... hmm...

dkcx SG

OK after that long long post of ranting, what are you expecting us to say or advice?

VL SG

Wall of TEXT

Damage x 1 000 000 000 000 000

TS must be a girl ...

maskedangel SG

Wall of TEXT

Damage x 1 000 000 000 000 000

TS must be a girl ...

LOLOLOLOL!!!

Gracehp SG

TS going to resign because of this small issue?

xtreyier SG

Glad you let it out of your system. I suppose you feel better now.

Time to face up to reality now.

1. Office politics is common and is an everyday occurence. I know it's difficult, but somehow, we must work within our differences and find a common ground to stand on. Working life is no longer the carefree days of school life. You are now earning a living and building up your career.

Anywhere you go will ALWAYS be like this, sad to say. But the solution, once again, is to find a common ground to stand on, live and let live, even if friendships cannot be struck up at the workplace. Be the professional that you are suppose to be, in your profession.

That's why we have after office hours and weekends, to relax and find true friends of our own.

2. Never resign. Not in this financial climate. Unless you have a better job on hand and ready to make that switch, or you will truly yourself in between a falling rock and a hard place of unemployment. Trust me, anywhere you go is the same. It aint school life anymore.

3. Chill out, enjoy some light music, and hope you may consider my suggestions.

Good luck and cheers.

Cool-gal SG

mmmmm, scold her on ur last day..

Stimulatedfib SG

mmmmm, scold her on ur last day..

Depends on whose "last day" comes first ba. Haha =D

Eh but, seriously boss (TS =P), like Mr. xtreyier mentioned, "Anywhere you go will ALWAYS be like this". In school also got (can say cos I just got out with diploma).
If you be ninja (zabo ninja hot woo~~ =X) or some form of solo-ranger then nothing to say. So, don't bother resigning. Wait next workplace 2 fili girl + 2 fili guy or more ah, how sia like that? =\

My strategy in school was: as much as possible, just siam the people you don't like, like say lunchtime or what. Employment contract also never say must eat with them ba. But then again, I never wore a skirt to school, so could run and jump around as I wished. XP

Find ways to deal with them lo (for now at least), especially by discussing with your Chinese girl khaki (chio ma? =D). Methods don't need be direct ones, if you know what I mean. =)

About the "go Sentosa" thing ah, if tio pang seh then can try call other good friend go gaigai with you lo. After all, goodness knows how much time you spent on makeup...

And I strongly suggest against listening to emo music (at least till "they" gone), only makes you more emo & angry & ready to explode. Confirm more effective than naked gunpowder. (Then again, gunpowder got wear clothes de meh? Underwear also bo. =\)

Best of luck. =)
And best of colleagues (in future)

kuehtutu SG

... And the other Chinese girl, she said 'hi' to ... that day, the Chinese girl offered the filipino some ... me and the Chinese girl rushed into the MRT ... the girl. And, the girl was shouting so loudly ...And what, the filipino girl messaged me 30 ...

simi talking u?

Kutter SG

Don't understand what are you trying to say.

xtreyier SG

Re-reading my post, I realize i may not had been more clear in defining the difference between school days and work life.

It is largely individual effort during school days, and it would not matter 'dont friend, dont friend loh' kind of attitude. No one else can help you gain an A in your Science except your own hard work in the exams.

But at work, it is largely a team effort. You are only part of the system whereby a company survives or profit. The chain is only as strong as its weakest link.

Therefore if there are any problem at work, it is the role of the manager to ensure the system of team effort function efficiently by building rapport among qualified members of the team.

Failure to do so will only ensure the company collapse. Thus your manager will have to take responsibility for his failure should you resign, that is, if you are indeed the problem and not the other girl. If not, it would be the company's loss.

Rather than to lay blame on the manager, you could at your level see if you can draw a line and maintain a professional distance, to help your career and the company you work for.

You will be admired and go far for it if your manager is competent or his 'rational' door is open to discuss and find solutions.

See the difference?

Hanagata SG

This is a straight path toward the North gate.

Me: North

You Are outside North gate.
A troll have attack you with a spear. You took 90 damage.
Me: Firebolt
You attack troll with Firebolt. Troll took 150 damage.
Me: Firebolt
You attack troll with Firebolt. Troll took 150 damage.
Troll roar and gain 1000 attack.
Me: Firebolt
You attack troll with Firebolt. Troll took 150 damage.
Troll attack you with a spear. You took 1040 damage.
Me: Firebolt
Your firebolt miss.
Troll cast WALL OF TEXT on you. You took 9999999999999 damage.

You are dead. You will be teleported to the nearest town.

Noahtay SG

Ms.shells SG

My strategy in school was: as much as possible, just siam the people you don't like, like say lunchtime or what. Employment contract also never say must eat with them ba.

LOL!! U're so funny!! HAhahahaha

Bayje SG

which lab do u work at? lol

Bayje SG

which lab do u work at? lol

p228 SG

TS,

Understand why you so angry.. It's common to meet such people at work.. I also used to it..

Seems like its always better to keep a distance from your colleagues..

What i mean is: Normal working days lunch together ok lar.. But non-working days keep as it is.

Don't be too close to them.

You'll never know when they will stab you.

I know's saying this is harsh.. but none of the colleagues can be trusted.

I don't trust my colleagues too much either.. Yes, we chat and fool around during work and lunch time.. but non-work days means my own life.. I won't meet my colleagues to go out or anything.

Lesson learnt for you to be more wary of all these "small minded" people..

parn SG

Usually I would alight at the next station and wait for the next train and board my friend's train and travel together.

It's called friendship, not like you....abandonship.

p228 SG

Usually I would alight at the next station and wait for the next train and board my friend's train and travel together.

It's called friendship, not like you....abandonship.

It all depends..

Doing that is certainly fine.. But you must see whether the other party is worth your time and effort or not.. Why wait for somebody who does not appreciate it at all?

It all boils down to how you wanna deal with the person..

I agree with TS that if the person does not appreciate it, forget it..