i would like to start by telling to all that my mum is
weird...or maybe too posessive.
my wife and i will normally go back to my parents place for
dinner on 1 of the weekdays, after work. that is like plus minus
8pm. also will go back on either sat or sunday for half a day. the
main problem>>>its all started when i got married 3 years
ago. 4 of us stay together at the old house. for 6 months or so.
then we decided to get our own house, which is only across a
street. thinking it was a good chance so we moved in soon after. my
mum starts to get so depressed after that. kept saying we had
abandon them etc...i have said that we will still be seeing them
every week. but she just some how could not take it. she will blame
my wife everynow and then saying she had taken her son away from
her. also say alot of nasty things that really hurt her. i as a son
really do not know how to solve this issue. im really feel sad for
my wife for going through this. we also had been trying hard to
have a baby but still in vain. we thought so that having 1 more
person in the family should have change my mum. she kept blaming us
for not wanting to have baby. anyway my wife just got another
session from her last evening when she reached my parents place
1st. im still in office when she sms me about it. i rushed back
after that. haizzz...
In conclusion, my mum will always be templimental over to us and
that really stress both of us alot. like that so stressful want to
have baby also hard lor. doc have mention that my wife could be too
stressful. i think like wise.
please advise
Not only is your mother a very possessive person, she is also
obviously not very fond of your wife. I suggest that you do not
bring your wife over to your mother's house -- at least not for the
time being.
On a side note, you are lucky to have a wife who remained by
your side despite everything that your mother have said, and you
should treasure her.
I can tell you there is no easy way out of this sticky mess, at
least not within a short amount of time. Like EarlNeo said, you
could try introducing your mother to joining Social Groups or
activities, but given her bad temper, I highly doubt she would bond
with anyone else. Unfortunately, old people also are not very fond
of counselling either.
You did not mention anything about your father, so I guess he is
just acting like what most guys would do in such a situation --
hide in one corner and pretend not to see or hear anything. If he
has some 'control' over your mother, he will have been able to, and
probably will have, help the two of you out. But he seems like one
of those hen-pecked guys, so whatever he do now will not be of much
help to you and your spouse.
The best solution in this case, is to get a grandchild for her
to look after. Maybe you will like to try out IVF, though you will
have to fork out some cash for it. You could also go for medical
check-ups along with your wife, as there a few factors which could
explain why she is not pregnant yet. Two of the most common reasons
are:
1) The male having a low sperm count
2) The female having a weak uterus wall lining
For now, you will have to bear with all your mother's scoldings
yourself, and not to let your wife suffer anymore of it. One
important to note is that you should never blame your wife because
of the scoldings, for it would harm the relationship between the
two of you. Remember, your wife is not at fault here, and that as
her husband, you have a duty of protecting her.
And whatever you choose to do, please do not move back to your
mother's place or ask her to stay at your house. I highly doubt she
would change her attitude towards your wife anytime soon, and
sooner or later you will find your wife breaking down and/or
squabbling with your mother.
You could also choose to cut all contacts with your mother and
move somewhere else with your wife, but that will be very unfilial
of you. This should be used as a last resort only if your mother
becomes physically abusive towards your wife.