Frenship Issues

last SG · 2009-06-04T19:29:42+00:00

If you really treasure a FRIENDSHIP you would not have insult your friend. For every action we take, we have to pay a price for it. Anyway if your friend ha...

PlzDunBanMe SG

hi all,

i'm having some frenship issues now, let mi describe:

got 1 day, i was feeling a bit joker, so i go comment on my fren's foto on facebk about how fat he is, in a joking manner. i tink dat day he not feeling so good, so he took offence and now, we're no longer on toking terms. i wont/dun need to see him animore after tis week, which is 2 more days only. so i am wundering, wud it be better if i spoke to him and sort tings out? or jus ignore it (delete off from facebk, msn etc)?

i wanted to call him but i scare kena reject. got 3 outcomes if i call:

1. he see my no, reject call

2. he pick up, we talk, fight over the fone, he slam down

3. he pick up, we talk, sort out issues

onli got 33.33333333% chance of recovering this frenship. i very unsure about wat to do. pls help mi. tks.

URGENT, onli got last 2 days left, if too late le den...

Uraniumfish SG

hi all,

i'm having some frenship issues now, let mi describe:

i wanted to call him but i scare kena reject. got 3 outcomes if i call:

1. he see my no, reject call

2. he pick up, we talk, fight over the fone, he slam down

3. he pick up, we talk, sort out issues

onli got 33.33333333% chance of recovering this frenship. i very unsure about wat to do. pls help mi. tks.

URGENT, onli got last 2 days left, if too late le den...

Well, you know what they say! You need to be able to spell friendship to be good at it.

Fugazzi SG

Uraniumfish - BLOODY GOOD ONE LAR !

PlzDunBanMe SG

To Fugazzi & Uraniumfish:

tis is for real. i can spell friendship perfectly. i'd appreciate it if you could give constructive comments instead. i would like to resolve this problem as soon as possible.

dkcx SG

You will never know till you tried. If you are so worried, sms an apology 1st and ask whether hes willing to talk before you call.

PlzDunBanMe SG

You will never know till you tried. If you are so worried, sms an apology 1st and ask whether hes willing to talk before you call.

ok, i will try. tks

Cool-gal SG

do u want him as fren?

is he worth a fren forever?

if yes, just apologise..

its ur fault ma..

how can u comment on his appearance.. its personal attack..

im sure u got ur flaws ma, wad if he comment it on facebook for everyone to see?

surely u will feel buey song..

dun treat others the way u dun wan to be treated..

Forbiddensinner SG

do u want him as fren?

is he worth a fren forever?

if yes, just apologise..

its ur fault ma..

how can u comment on his appearance.. its personal attack..

im sure u got ur flaws ma, wad if he comment it on facebook for everyone to see?

surely u will feel buey song..

dun treat others the way u dun wan to be treated..

That is the trouble with people. They often brought upon others what they do not want others to bring upon themselves.

TS, if you are really sincere, go buy a cake and go over to your friend's house and apologise to him face-to-face. Odds are you will not do that because you do not have the guts to do so, despite the fact that you are in the wrong.

And to cool-gal, friends are not clothes. Many people have this misconception, and treat people like spouses, friends, and even in severe cases, family as clothes, ready to be disposed off anytime. If you think of a person as someone whom you want as a friend for only a set period of time, then I will say you do not truly treasure that person as a friend.

And it is not about being worth it or not. If the TS is at fault, he should put down his pride and do what a true man will do. He can take my advice in through one ear and out the other, and I will be certain that he will lose some more of his "friends".

dkcx SG

That is the trouble with people. They often brought upon others what they do not want others to bring upon themselves.

U rich boy ah? Apology also need buy cake... If for every single apology need buy cakes, i'll go broke and you see cakeshops opening everyday...

This issue isn't such a large problem to require such a big apology anyway which is totally ridiculous.

Sincerity is more important than anything material and personally i hate ppl buying things for every small thing as though they parading they got money...

gigabyte14 SG

lol

lucky all my friends and me

all have insult absorbing function 1

thickskin23 SG

Well the ball is in your friend's court, its up to your friend to decide. I had a similar experience 1 month ago, i was shopping with my sister (who work as an air stewardness). We chanced upon one of my friend and i just greet her, after that a few days later we chanced upon each other in food court as we work in same building.

While i was having lunching with her, she ask if my sister was my gf and wats her occupation, i told her she work as air stewardness and before i can answer that she is my sister, my friend went on to say air stewardness are high class hooker and will do anything for money.

I was so pissed off as she is like 156cm and 90kg (thats wat she told me), anyway i just told her i am offended and leave halfway. I am not being petty but in the past she has make bad remarks on my occupation saying that accountant is a low pay job which i just never comment as i guess she has the right to her comments.

Howvever this time i am piss off as she went tothe extent of insulting my loved ones, anyway i have delete her from my msn and occassionally i see her in the street and i just ignored her as i just feel a friend who insult you and your loved ones are really not a friend at all.

s0nic SG

sometimes friends dont mean what they say.. when they are very close to u, they tend to say things without thinking. that happens quite alot of times among me and my friends..

Forbiddensinner SG

U rich boy ah? Apology also need buy cake... If for every single apology need buy cakes, i'll go broke and you see cakeshops opening everyday...

This issue isn't such a large problem to require such a big apology anyway which is totally ridiculous.

Sincerity is more important than anything material and personally i hate ppl buying things for every small thing as though they parading they got money...

Of course I am not that rich. Well, you can always go for those smaller cakes which cost $5~7, just good enough for 2 people to eat.

As for sincerity wise, I will say that the 2 of us have different views on it.

You are those who believe that sincerity should be more of a thing from the heart, and that it should be shown through words.

I am one of those who believe that sincerity should be shown through actions, and that words can never outweight actions.

Hence, even though you see this as a small issue, I see it on a different scale. Small things can become bigger ones. If TS take a wrong step again, it will be even harder to clear things up with his friend. That is why I want him to show it through his actions that he is really very sorry for his unkind words.

Neither of us are wrong, it is just that sincerity, being a part of kindness, takes on different forms when it is viewed from different angles.

Forbiddensinner SG

sometimes friends dont mean what they say.. when they are very close to u, they tend to say things without thinking. that happens quite alot of times among me and my friends..

That is true. But a really outstanding and good friend, will always think about you before he/she opens his/her mouth. No matter how close the two of you get, he/she will always think about your stand before making any negative comments.

In thickskin's case, it is pretty obvious that his 'friend' has a REALLY foul mouth, and an uncaring attitude, so it is not surprising that he break their friendship.

thickskin23 SG

I did guage whether will i regret as i have few friends, but in that case she thought that my sis is my gf and she went on to insult her of being a hooker either way she is a prick.

I can hear from her tone that she was not joking but rather in a bitter and sarcastism tone as she just broke off with her bf as he finds her obese (thats wat she told me). I can understand her feelings but no way should she insult my loved ones.

s0nic SG

anyway, i think it's up to how we judge things.. if your friends say things about u, it may sound normal to you, but sound insulting to me.. and maybe, he/she had a bad experience before, for eg, an air stewardess snatched her boyfriend, and this caused a very deep scar in her heart.. just an example though..

thickskin23 SG

Yes i agree there is no right or wrong, she might have some bad experience with air stewardness causing her a permanent case of negative stereotyping against them, however but i doubt i will never insult my friend's loved ones especially this insult is quite humilating and if i never treat her like a friend ( an ex friend now), i will insult her back that day instead of leaving halfway.

Anyway my stand is that as an elder brother, my priority is to protect my loved ones

dkcx SG

Of course I am not that rich. Well, you can always go for those smaller cakes which cost $5~7, just good enough for 2 people to eat.

As for sincerity wise, I will say that the 2 of us have different views on it.

You are those who believe that sincerity should be more of a thing from the heart, and that it should be shown through words.

I am one of those who believe that sincerity should be shown through actions, and that words can never outweight actions.

Neither of us are wrong, it is just that sincerity, being a part of kindness, takes on different forms when it is viewed from different angles.

How about pissing me off everyday and buying me food everyday for breakfast so i no need go see what junk food i have in the house to fill up my stomach :p

Do note that TS is a NSF and NSF are not rich. $5-7 is still a large % of the pathetic NS allowance.

Anyway i don't believe in using money to buy or remedy friendship and thats the last thing i will ever advice anyone when i counsel them. If you really want action, i will rather suggest making a card or something selfmade to show sincerity than going to buy a cake which is costly as well as not really showing much effort as well.

jojobeach SG

hi all,

i'm having some frenship issues now, let mi describe:

i wanted to call him but i scare kena reject. got 3 outcomes if i call:

1. he see my no, reject call

2. he pick up, we talk, fight over the fone, he slam down

3. he pick up, we talk, sort out issues

onli got 33.33333333% chance of recovering this frenship. i very unsure about wat to do. pls help mi. tks.

URGENT, onli got last 2 days left, if too late le den...

If you can post the fat boy comment on his facebook.. for all his friends to see.

Why won't you stop behaving like a chicken..........post on the facebook again..... this time....apologise and admit that you're just an insensitive dipshit for posting such thoughtless comment ?

PlzDunBanMe SG

If you can post the fat boy comment on his facebook.. for all his friends to see.

Why won't you stop behaving like a chicken..........post on the facebook again..... this time....apologise and admit that you're just an insensitive dipshit for posting such thoughtless comment ?

i cant post on his facebk coz he deleted me oredi...

thks a lot for those who helped by commenting... i decided to send him an email saying sorry for wat i've said even tho i never meant to hurt him... he has not replied, i dunno whether he see the email oredi or not... so maybe he is serious abt losing tis frenship...

tks again. :(