1. Realize and understand WHERE your fear stems from, and you
will be able to find the solution.
Analyzing your post, your fears are common. They are:-
a. Fear of rejection
Everyone hates to be rejected and it makes them feel foolish. It
is not a nice feeling, but once rejected, you will never what to be
put through such feelings again. Yet you hunger and yearn for love,
someone to hold and cherish..
b. Fear of criticism from peers.
Being rejected, although hard, one can still live with in
because it is personal. But if your peers, friends and espacially
office collegues got to know of it, you will feel that they are
laughing behind your back. Every snigger, every whisper becomes a
joke about you when it is not even true. Your become presumptous
and allow such feelings to take control over you.
The only solution for you:-
a. Singapore women are still conservative. Do not expect them to
be so daring as to approach you first. They too have a sense of
pride built from tradition, something that is not going to change
for more years to come. Thus you have to approach them first, come
what may.
b. Women, if they ever approach a guy first, will be those that
meet with their ideals - dashing, courages, confident, etc - people
whom they have regular contact thru the media such as singers,
actors, writers, celebrities, politicians, etc, even though such
famous people may not sincerly care about them but see them as
dollars or power to be gain. Women too have hopes and
ambitions.
But they will not know who you are and where you are comming
from, and what are your character traits. Therefore you must let
them get to know you, not by showing off yourself and make a
mockery of yourself, but being friend to her first. You need to be
confident, and making the first move is a sign of confidence.
Women prefer confident men, otherwise how else are they going to
depend on him for friendship and if chance permits- marriage
partners? Who wants to marry or befriend a loser, a complainer, a
whiner?
Therefore, if you truly like the girl, make the first move,
befriend her, have small talk with her and let her get to know you.
THere is nothing wrong in being friends, even if they are married,
so long as you know the limits.
REMEMBER - friends first, and no one will laugh at you. Unless
you make a fool out of yourself and buy her flowers and rings
immediately in the hope to bed her quick, then you would be laughed
at. She is a lady and not some women of the night, so treat her
respect first.
Be confident and frankly, you dont need much confidence to be
friends with others, unless you have an ulterior motive, then you
will be shaking with fear that you may be found out.
