seeking security in another - through marriage, thru friendship
- the other is a means to ur end - its akin to using another - that
is the ultimate insult to one's being.
Needs and fears and insecurity (within) not reconciled with is a
burden to oneself and the other ( could be anyone - not necessarily
a spouse, prospective ....) - it is tantamount to beggary!
As for culture, that u had mentioned - what u are being now is
your culture - religion, race, tradition, customs is an excuse,
merely an excuse - its hiding behind a curtain of beliefs and what
have u.
If u trust in ur love - why the need to possess? Its symptomatic
of an impoverished being, a malnourished being - love or anything
that is perceived as great - can never be possessed, it can only be
expereinced or shared. Sharing is the abundance of love that
emanates from within n without - otherwise it is seeking fulfilment
thru another - it is bound to be accidental, if ur being (eg ur
house) is drenched in darkness and u seek lite outside (would one
look for a switch in another house) , it is bound to be laced
with anxiety, fear, cos the source is outside not within.