downhill suddenly :(

yahoo.com SG

Hi guys.. having a minor problem in my life now. fell in love for the 2nd time in my life again beginning of this year. The gal went back overseas to study and i even paid her a visit in feb on her birthday. Since coming back, i realised that things were not the same as she couldn’t forget her ex bf and they always were in touch at there as they all have common friends. She is not and does not intend to reconcile with him but she also said that she doesnt wanna be together with me. she mentioned that i couldnt be there all the time and that it would be really difficult. i dunno but i am just devastated because i dun fall for gals easily and i really liked this gal. now i am in such a mess.

i used to be so confident in life. lots of my frenz envied me. i have a good job, had multiple vehicles that they wanted but couldnt afford, excelled in sports and was always so cheerful and positive in life. but now i am a total wreck. i party all the time whenever its my off days. i sold off all my vehicles which were my prized possessions. i am not rich just in case i sound otherwise. these vehicles cost very little. and i dun make any effort to meet any other gals except for my 3 buddies who are my guy frenz. i party with them all the time. i haf a final match tmw where the prize money is in thousands but i just dun feel like going. i just wanna go out and watch a movie or chill out rather than display my skills to the watching crowd. Sad i know i would be letting my team down because they all depend on me but that’s why i know that i now haf a problem because i am feeling like this.

everyone i know tells me that i am a better than average looking and a different guy kinda person. they all trust me alot and see husband material in me but i am not interested in them. i dun socialise at all nowadays and am always thinking of the gal hoping that she will come back during her holidays, i dunno if i should wait for her to give me an explanation or not but i am damn sure that if that gal was studying here, she will not have left me. i really dunno what to do and now i realise that i am 27 years old and i was going through some profiles in my networking sites and realised that everyone around me is settling down or has settled down. i am not feeling the pressure but am just worried that i could be displaying this kinda emotions for the next 3 years. my mum is hoping for me to get married before i turn 28 and i dun think this is possible now.i long to get married as well actually and stop partying and wasting my life away. the gal who went to study overseas is 21 years old btw. and my mum loves her alot too.. even when i do try to forget about her, my mum toks about her and all memories will come back to me. but nonetheless my mum always lets me know that i can marry whoever i want to even if its not that gal because this gal doesnt have a firm mind. i mean how can she be so fickle minded rite? but then deep down i know i love her because we had some great moments together and i dun fall in love easily Sad plus the fact that she is gorgeous makes me feel i am a loser for being dumped Sad

i honestly am feeling very shitty and dunno what life has in store for me. i work 7 days a week now(shift work no choice) doing 13-15 hour shifts daily and the only times in between that i haf to rest, i spend my time partying away. i dun haf time to socialise. my interests have changed too. last time i used to be always wanting to own vehicles and accessories and buy nice clothes up to the extent where i needed to use my credit cards to pay. now all i want is just to settle all my debts and go travelling and buy all those stuff i want to without thinking twice and buying branded clothes to wear. my frenz have noticed this change in me and they were very surprised that i have given up my passion for vehicles.

Back 2-3 years ago, i could go to a bar/ktv lounge and most of the gals would attract me. but now i realise that most of the gals dun attract me at all. i dunno if its me or what but i do not think of bedding gals anymore. all i want is to just haf a nice conversation with someone and from there after feelings develop naturally i would wanna progress further from there. is something wrong with me? why haf i become like this? even the upcoming china trip that my frenz haf organised.. i told them that i wanna go to shop only.. not interested in all those hanky panky.

any solutions to get my life back on track? pls dun ask me to join all these social love networks to get to know people becoz i cant bring myself to do that. i need help Sad i have lost all concentration at work as well. and i feel better after typing all these out coz i keep all emotions to myself Sad

thanks to all those in advance who will reply constructively

Detached SG

Keep whining, life will get better.

Not meaning to be rude, but it sounded like you had a huge ego and that girl just bruised it. Was it yourself you were in love with or her? Learn to deal with rejections, won't be the last you will see.

yahoo.com SG

come to think of it.. u are right. maybe i am just too full of myself that i am whining. point noted dude.. and no offense taken. thanks for the input Smile but i gotta admit that i am in love with that gal. to the extent that i am willing to give up anything ? but then.. distance is a very crucial factor this time Sad

just hoping to meet someone new or as alike as she was to me

brainerror SG

and me!

hiphop2009 SG

hey.

You know, you need to pick yourself up.

really...

There are a lot of pple out there who dun have love and dun have money....

dkcx SG

How long more before she returns? Its not uncommon for girls not to be able to forget their ex so its much harder for them to accept new relationships especially if the breakup was quite recent. If you really love her alot, give her abit more time and try to show her that your love for her is genuine. If after some time it still doesn't work, maybe you should reconsider your options.

Give other girls a chance as well and take notice of the people around you. There might still be other good girls that have always been close by but you have never noticed since your mind was fully occupied with that girl.

Lossing interest in partying, fooling around might just be another level of maturity which shows that you have grown old enough to feel ready to settle down and stop all the playing.

jgho83 SG

u can try to pull the handbrake (can stop immediatedly) or gently step on the brake itself (can slowly stop).

thehappybunny SG

tl;dr

Detached SG

just hoping to meet someone new or as alike as she was to me

Here's another perspective for you to consider (not meaning to be rude again).

Neither the distance nor her ex is the problem at all, you're just not Mr. Right sadly. Chances are, if you're the guy with the right qualities whom she deems attractive, these 'obstacles' you brought up wouldn't be obstacles at all.

Sometimes, we just can't have what we want... C'est la vie..

jgho83 SG

Yes I agree with Detached.

"Sometimes, we just can't have what we want... "

TS u said your friends cannt afford cars like u do... your frens cant have what they want too.

The law of average finally caught up with u.

U cant have what u want too now, right?

So jus give her up.

Detached SG

Yes I agree with Detached.

"Sometimes, we just can't have what we want... "

TS u said your friends cannt afford cars like u do... your frens cant have what they want too.

The law of average finally caught up with u.

U cant have what u want too now, right?

So jus give her up.

Euuu ish find my smartness attractive

jgho83 SG

Euuu ish find my smartness attractive

Do u have any plastic bags for me to use? Urgent.

Detached SG

Do u have any plastic bags for me to use? Urgent.

BadzMaro SG

*pats pats TS*

First things first.. u get ur act together. Dun get all emo'd n lose ur focus on the prize even though u may just wanna have fun , ur team relies on you. Never let your boys down man.. u gotta seperate ur emotions in what u need to do, gonna do and wanna do. Cause those negativty will just pull u down even more.And further reinforces that negativity and you will lose the will and that in turn makes u lose faith in yourself and those around u.

How can u even do ur job properly, manage ur life and woo the girl u want or love if u allow urself to be put off, put down crushed by your own inability to get a grip of yourself.

I believe that we can always make things work, its whether u wanna make it work or not. Are u putting in the effort, are u channeling those negativity into positive energy to motive you , man! Are u making sacrifices ?!!!

Your character and attitude determines your future, and also the future in who and what are attracted to you.

Its alrite to whine ,bitch n moan sometimes, we all need to. Or we will lose the plot. We r not machines. Just make sure u do more workin then bitchin .

Oh n about the 'not being there' stuff.. man.. if she cannot see u really got the sim.. the heart, i think suan le. If she cant see that in you, she is blind herself. Like maybe how she cant see ur potential, ur sacrifices now so in the future u can jet plane to 'be there' for her ANYTIME. Well, that will be another matter anyways. So dun get too worked up over the gal if thats the case.

BadzMaro SG

and also..

Go destroy a punching bag.. it helps. If all fails. =D~~

mancha SG

She is also a smart girl. She sees and assess you. She has decided you are not what she wants. What you think of yourself does not matter to her.

You want a prize, and she not going to be that prize.

You are feeling like you lost a match that you should have won.

Jackthereaper SG

Well, she's 21 and I believe she's not ready to settle down just yet, whether she still likes you or not. She might(want to settle down), but I don't trust that, and obviously you haven't inspired any impulse for her to want to get married.

Anyway, it doesn't matter what she's doing; you're not doing much for yourself or anyone if you carry on like that. It's great that you don't want to waste your life away anymore and you're trying to get more serious in relationships. But if you're really looking for a serious relationship now, then it's time to get serious with how your life's turning out. Before you want to try taking care of someone else, I think it's better that you do something about your life - in terms of your work or something. If you have a passion for something, do something about it. Maybe it's not with 'vehicles' anymore, but I'm sure there's something out there...baking cakes, flower arrangement, volunteering, nursing, muaythai, painting, bartopdancing, bdsm....

If all else fails, you can hit the gym. If that fails, you can try dropping the dumbbell on your foot. You get injured. You hit the hospital ward. You get a cute nurse to look after you. And you fall in love with her. And....

Seriously, you're not getting any younger. Do something about your life. If you can't find someone you love and who loves you in return, at least do something you love.

Watching porn and getting off doesn' count.