Is this too much to ask of?

last SG · 2009-02-28T01:22:49+00:00

I donnoe, maybe she's kinda tired of hearing you harping on it like all the time? But all the same, things can be worked out, maybe you can let her know, tha...

toothbrush SG

Never imagined that i'd be here posting again. Here goes my story..

Recently at work i've been feeling stressed out over customer issues. I tried to be strong, telling myself that at the end of the day, its just work. No need to be too bothered by them.

But its just not working. These few days, i've been telling my gf about my troubles at work. I just need to get it off my chest, tell someone about it. I just need a listening ear, someone to hear out my problems.

Apparently she got pissed off with me because she said that i complained too much (indirectly, but obvious). Is this too much to ask of? Shouldn't your other half be understanding and encouraging towards you?

Without a doubt, I'd do what i can to help her if she is facing any difficulties. Heck, even if she complains to me every single day, I wont be irritated or pissed because I love her. To me, the problems that she faces will also be my problem.

Im feeling so disappointed. Not even angry but disappointed. Can't she just listen to my woes? I'm not asking anything from her, but just to listen to me. Why is she even getting pissed over this? I just don't know. I hate this feeling but it sucks. I'd rather be angry than disappointed because this feeling really sucks real bad.

Please advise.

charlize SG

If you think your girlfriend is there to hear you whine, you are so passe.

Miss Tiny SG

hmm. i dunno, but maybe she thinks that guys shouldn't whine too much?

charlize SG

Normally guys will just go sit in one corner and resolve any work issues by themselves.

You are one of those unusual ones.

toothbrush SG

Of course she is not there just to hear me whine. But what happened to "being there for one another".

Can you accept it if your gf/bf simply does not care about your problems? Then what's the point of being together? For sex? For free lunches?

charlize SG

Of course she is not there just to hear me whine. But what happened to "being there for one another".

Can you accept it if your gf/bf simply does not care about your problems? Then what's the point of being together? For sex? For free lunches?

You live in an unrealistic world.

Really.

toothbrush SG

Normally guys will just go sit in one corner and resolve any work issues by themselves.

You are one of those unusual ones.

Obviously i am trying. I just need the support and encouragement. Being a guy isn't about trying to act all macho and keep everything to yourself. If i can't tell my gf about my problems, who can I tell? Strangers in forums? Perhaps.

charlize SG

Normally, it is the girls who require guys to just listen to them about their problems without offering them solutions.

For guys, they will usually resolve such issues on their own. Girls are the ones who usually will complain about guys not sharing or withdrawing from them.

Like I said, your case is the unusual one.

tripsky SG

maybe she wans to change toothbrush? or maybe she jus don't like the whiny part of the relationship. anyway since she don't like i suggest u stop whining and be a strong toothbrush ok?

toothbrush SG

Oh hell no. You know what? Before this, she was saying that i don't open up to her. Now that we're closer, i find it easier to talk to her about things and look what happens.

toothbrush SG

maybe she wans to change toothbrush? or maybe she jus don't like the whiny part of the relationship. anyway since she don't like i suggest u stop whining and be a strong toothbrush ok?

I definitely will. Like what i've said, sometimes it just easier if you get things off your chest.

Miss Tiny SG

There's a limit to the amount of patience, perhaps even the level of tolerance to listen to complaints and whinings for every individual. But that does not mean ur gf doesn't love u, and opening up to her doesn't only mean complaints and more complaints only.

If ur gf doesn't like to hear complaints, den complain to ur close friends instead.

charlize SG

Oh hell no. You know what? Before this, she was saying that i don't open up to her. Now that we're closer, i find it easier to talk to her about things and look what happens.

After you said this, I know just the right thing to say to you.

Quit trying to understand girls.

Throughout the history of humankind, men have been struggling with this issue about understanding women.

No man has succeeded yet.

And probably never will.

toothbrush SG

Think i'd have to make things clear before more people misunderstands me.

By complaining, i don't mean the typical whiney complains. All i did was to tell her that i've had a very bad day, with customers giving me problems. Tell her how stressed out i was over their issues. Though i might have said it a couple of times throughout the day, it definitely isn't whining. Or so i think.

charlize SG

Think i'd have to make things clear before more people misunderstands me.

Have you considered that when you complained about your day, she herself could have been having a more terrible day but because you brought it up first, she decided not to tell you her problems so as not to unnecessarily burden you with her probems?

toothbrush SG

If ur gf doesn't like to hear complaints, den complain to ur close friends instead.

From now on, I will. Charlize is probably right. My world is unrealistic but i admit i was caught surprised.

I just wanted to hear opinions from others. Thanks alot the both of you.

charlize SG

Wah seh.

First time somebody thank me for my advice in sgforums.

toothbrush SG

You got half of it right though.

She was fretting over trying to find a job. But you know what was I doing before i complained to her? I was going through the details of the part-time job offer that she found online. Before that, I even called up a friend to enquire about a job vacancy. Now tell me that i've not done my part to help her with her problems.

toothbrush SG

Wah seh.

First time somebody thank me for my advice in sgforums.

Somebody has to be the devil you see

charlize SG

You got half of it right though.

Like what some people suggested, stop burdening her with your bad days since she has problems of her own. Do it with your drinking buddies at the local pub.

Nobody said relationships were easy or straight forward. But the rule of thumb is the guy usually gets the shorter end of the stick in a relationship. Bear that in mind.