Both (Kate and Princeton):
Everyone's a little bit racist
Sometimes.
Doesn't mean we go
Around committing hate crimes.
Look around and you will find
No one's really color blind.
Maybe it's a fact
We all should face
Everyone makes judgments
Based on race.
Princeton:
Now not big judgments, like who to hire
or who to buy a newspaper from -
Kate Monster:
No!
Princeton:
No, just little judgments like thinking that
Mexican busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!
Kate Monster:
Right!
Both:
Everyone's a little bit racist
Today.
So, everyone's a little bit racist
Okay!
Ethinic jokes might be uncouth,
But you laugh because
They're based on truth.
Don't take them as
Personal attacks.
Everyone enjoys them -
So relax!
Princeton:
All right, stop me if you've heard this one.
Kate Monster:
Okay!
Princeton:
There's a plane going down and there's only
one paracute. And there's a rabbi, a priest...
Kate Monster:
And a black guy!
Gary Coleman:
Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate?
Kate Monster:
Uh...
Gary Coleman:
You were telling a black joke!
Princeton:
Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes.
Gary Coleman:
I don't.
Princeton:
Well, of course you don't - you're black!
But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?
Gary Coleman:
Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!
Princeton:
Now, don't you think that's a little racist?
Gary Coleman:
Well, damn, I guess you're right.
Kate Monster:
You're a little bit racist.
Gary Coleman:
Well, you're a little bit too.
Princeton:
We're all a little bit racist.
Gary Coleman:
I think that I would
Have to agree with you.
Princeton/Kate Monster:
We're glad you do.
Gary Coleman:
It's sad but true!
Everyone's a little bit racist -
All right!
Kate Monster:
All right!
Princeton:
All right!
Gary Coleman:
All right!
Bigotry has never been
Exclusively white
All:
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
Even though we all know
That it's wrong,
Maybe it would help us
Get along.
Princeton:
Oh, Christ do I feel good.
Gary Coleman:
Now there was a fine upstanding black man!
Princeton:
Who?
Gary Coleman:
Jesus Christ.
Kate Monster:
But, Gary, Jesus was white.
Gary Coleman:
No, Jesus was black.
Kate Monster:
No, Jesus was white.
Gary Coleman:
No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black-
Princeton:
Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Brian:
Hey guys, what are you laughing about?
Gary Coleman:
Racism!
Brian:
Cool.
Christmas Eve:
BRIAN! Come back here!
You take out lecycuraburs!
Princeton:
What's that mean?
Brian:
Um, recyclables.
Hey, don't laugh at her!
How many languages do you speak?
Kate Monster:
Oh, come off it, Brian!
Everyone's a little bit racist.
Brian:
I'm not!
Princeton:
Oh no?
Brian:
Nope!
How many Oriental wives
Have you got?
Christmas Eve:
What? Brian!
Princeton:
Brian, buddy, where you been?
The term is Asian-American!
Christmas Eve:
I know you are no
Intending to be
But calling me Oriental -
Offensive to me!
Brian:
I'm sorry, honey, I love you.
Christmas Eve:
And I love you.
Brian:
But you're racist, too.
Christmas Eve:
Yes, I know.
The Jews have all
The money
And the whites have all
The power.
And I'm always in taxi-cab
With driver who no shower!
Princeton:
Me too!
Kate Monster:
Me too!
Gary Coleman:
I can't even get a taxi!
All:
Everyone's a little bit racist
It's true.
But everyone is just about
As racist as you!
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
And everyone stopped being
So PC
Maybe we could live in -
Harmony!
Christmas Eve:
Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!
I like this! Sounds like a play, wat issit?
nowadays in school...i hear the indians calling malays as muslim
dogs(no offence) and the chinese as chinese bastards..and the
vicious cycle goes on....do u tink another racial riot will happen
again...and wad is the government doing about tis?i am a caucasion
and its just tat i feel that we should all not be look upon diff
cause of our skin colours...we are all humans..we eat,live and
shit....any views about it?
Racists?? I'll say that's immaturity. Only immatured
pple will think they are the best of all.