lust or love?

last SG · 2009-01-09T00:02:06+00:00

IMO, u start to love someone only after having a basic mutual frendship and understanding, which 2 week is certainly a little too fast. Don go into a r/s ju...

helpless:( SG

I have known this guy for 3 weeks. He told me that it was love at first sight. He loves me a lot and we went out for 2 weeks,msned and smsed each other before he confessed his feelings. But all along,i have only treated him like a friend.

All my friends urged me to go into a relationship with him because he really unique from other guys and he loves me a lot. So i went ahead. He told me that he loves me..but i cant bring myself to say it..it is my first relationship,but im a bit apprehensive that it is lust and not love..because i dont believe that one can fall in love in 2 weeks..but ive already made clear to him that i wont have premarital sex.

i think i'm wary of him, thats why i cant really trust him entirely..i want to give myself a chance to fall in love with him..but how do i do it? what should i do? he is a good guy..i think the problem lies with me:(

Pitot SG

then see his lust can last for how long?

Rednano SG

Lust, Caution 色，戒

u how old? he how old?

ya, definitely is lust 1...

no sex, later a play on words he says, petting okay right... u no say...

Pippinpro SG

for me i believe, he cant possible fall in love in 2 weeks, its not love, most probably is crush...

crush doesn't mean love on first sight, if u dun contact him for a few weeks, he wont die, the feeling just fate away,

and then in a relationship, if you are wary against him, isn't it weird? wary against your boyfriend.... well, u can try out the relationship, but dun put in too much i would say, get to know each other more, if he really love you, he wont force you to do "things" you dun like i presume...

somemore like you stated, he is a good guy, nowadays, good guys are hard to find, so u found 1, cherish it, provided he is really 1... but dun judge book by its cover, know him better 1st seriously..

Pitot SG

lust can turn into love.

love can turn into lust.

KaurexO_o SG

From what you wrote, TS you are still very young right?

You went into a relationship just because your friends urge you to do so? You need to be more firm in your decisions=]]

Your friends do not understand you as much as yourself. Do you really like him? Mutual trust and respect are very important elements in a relationship. It wasn't really right of you to just stead with that guy just because your friends say so. The 'yes' has to come from your heart, from you yourself and not from your friends.

Yes, it is indeed possible for one to fall in love at first sight. It is all due to the wonderful chemical reactions in our body stimulating the effect. It is also possible for a person to truly fall in love with another in 2 weeks. But as you and that guy are still young ( please correct me if im wrong, it's just an assumption=]] ), i believe that it is undoubtedly puppy love or a crush and not true love. This kind of feeling fade after a while and the relationship would also wilt.

If you feel insecure in the relationship, perhaps you could outline your comfort zones with him. Telling him that these are the areas that you do not wish for both you and him to cross into at the moment.

gigabyte14 SG

not lust i tok

Fatum SG

seems like he wants to bonk you, but you don't feel like bonking him .....

won't last long of course ....

mancha SG

To say "I love you" is the easiest thing in the world.

When some one says that to you, you get flattered. People like the word "LOVE"

What does love means?

Love do not stand alone. It is a combination of many intangibles.

Trust, Respect, Adoration, Faith, Care, are just a few, and they always built up over time. It is always on hindsight that you realise that you love somebody.

So 3 weeks? Love? Don't get influenced by that word.

Humans crave adoration.

ifish SG

if your friend like him so much ask her to go into relationship with him lo

[J]erry SG

emmm... i took 4 months to find out that i love the girl.. 2 weeks maybe..

Beachboy136 SG

Lust at first sight...

burndog85 SG

It's more like puppy love than real love and this guy sounds desperate to get into a relationship. How is it even possible to show your feelings within just two weeks? When i normally like a girl, it takes like 3 to 6 months to develop feelings for each other. I think you should tell him that we need to take it slowly, don't hurry things.

miNty` SG

if u can't bring yourself to tell him that u love him..then don't say it (when u don't really mean it)

if he really loves u (as much as he claimed)..then he be agreeable should u request that u need sometime to sort out your feelings towards him & to take things slower

"want to give myself a chance to fall in love with him..but how do i do it? what should i do? he is a good guy" --> there's no right or wrong way..or certain procedures for u to fall in love with someone..it all depends on your feeling towards this special someone for u..

fairlady_xoxo SG

Sticky situation

Fantagf SG

YOu are so hasty to enter a relationship with someone you just got to know for only a few weeks. I can't imagine one who is not in love with the guy said yes to go into relationship with the guy. Oh my God! Don't go into relationship with a guy just because your friend told you so. You are in control of your own life, not your friend. Hope you have a mind of your own rather than act upon what others want u to do.

There is such thing as attraction at first sight. Love needs time to develop. I believe this guy is either attracted to you, lust after you or both. Perhaps, you want to be frank to let him know what you feel.

Fantagf SG

if your friend like him so much ask her to go into relationship with him lo

ha ha ha, you have a point.

iceFatboy SG

nowsadays, love is treated like instant noodles.. they want it fast, and if doesn't work, divorce.. who can we blame, when we are being shown all the news from hollywood..

candiz SG

i don't tink it's very hasty, perhaps a little faster than normal, but getting into a r/s in juz a month is alright, doesn't necessarily means the guy is only wif you for lust.

oh ya, if the guy when going out with you seem to be always looking at the boobs, butt, legs, the figure etc instead of focusing on the conversation between u 2, then it's highly likely to be lust, such r/s normally won't last long. just a little pointer from my personal experience, hope it helps~

Fantagf SG

i don't tink it's very hasty, perhaps a little faster than normal, but getting into a r/s in juz a month is alright, doesn't necessarily means the guy is only wif you for lust.

u have big big boobs?? How much can one know the other less than a month??