Say is easy than being done. I see her face, i got that phobia
to approach.
You know sometime, i know that i know how to do the correct
thing, but with she around, i will just somehow did something
wrong. She is like staring at you with one kind, the face is so
black, and scold whenever you make one small move. With such a
person around, how possible for me to concentrate on my patient. I
tend to concentrate more on her face than the patient face.
I am trying hard...
You think like on TV, the person guiding you must smile so
that you feel better?
Maybe its just her way and her life. What she is doing
with herself is her issue. At least, she is monitoring you and
making sure you are trained. Its better to be told immediately and
have your mistakes corrected at the point in time than to wait
until wrong work has become a habit before she comes and tell you
that you had done wrong 1000 times and only at 1001 then she bother
to tell you.
Why can't you see that you are learning the process from
her. Why can't you see also that she might be reacting to
your attitude as well. For all you know, we only hear your story,
Maybe you are really bad at things and its causing your precepator
stress. Or maybe you also never smile or be respectful of her, so
why should your senior smile for you? Be grateful for your
precepator. It is because she cared about her work and your work
that she is hard on you. If she does not care, then kill one
or two patient also never mind. Definitely it will be your fault
one. So think about it. Your precepator might be nasty but does she
bad mouth you behind your back or back stab you? She is simply hard
on you on your work as she might want to see perfection. That's
all. BTW, you have about 50 years of work ahead of you. Learn to
like it. You will look back a appreciate her even though her
approach might make you feel bad now. There are worse people out
there and who will do more damage to you than just be nasty to you
about your work.