birthday woes and betrayals

last SG · 2008-12-14T17:07:02+00:00

next time hor, if that person is not so close to you, dont chip in lor. Buy for those that are close to you only. Acquitances that kind no need la.

TTT203 SG

No need to befriend such people la.

TTT203 SG

No need to befriend such people la.

ItchyArmpit SG

only read a few post..

lessons learnt from MY experience:

nv commit urself too much in a friendship/a group of friend

nv treat them as friends, just playmates.. unless u really have a trustworthy, mature, willing to commit kind of friend..

here is one of my story that hurt me...

there is many many times that i commit myself too much in a friendship... then i always kena hurt cuz they is either dun treat me like a friend or dun even listen to wat i say.. which is worse than a passerby..

then i came across this friend, A, he is somewhat like me... kena left out and "betrayed" by his group of friends... i as a somewhat close friend explain everything to MY own group of friend and keep accompany this A...

we got really close... btw he and i are male.. so no attraction of BGR.. then one day he just didnt care a dam about me and keep talking to his friend... as if i am one irritating passerby... which hurt me a lot... i ask him about it he say o he was busy doing other things which i found out he was dam dam dam free..

more thing u can know from my previous AA thread... "i am at a lost"

so i learnt that nv treat anyone a friend.. but a playmate.. or maybe a studymate...

only recognise a friend as friend when he/she commits himself/herself to the relationship... as in friend...

tho this sounds like BGR but it can also be applied to reallife friendship...

also, as some ppl said that "do not be too SERIOUS", also somewhat means that do not commit urself in the friendship too much...

good luck.
IA

ItchyArmpit SG

say ley... =D

say le.. above post haha..

but is my original story..

R3D3V1L SG

Happy belated birthday!! You poor thing. Aiyah life got good frens(the one who sms you) and lousy frens(the ones who pretend they didn't know it was your birthday). Dun need to do drastic things like change your electives. Just find new friends in school lor. I always keep the nice people close to me and the selfish ones, just hihi byebye or go out have fun only. No big loss.

Just be confident and go find your friends. I didn't really go out with my JC class last time either. You can do it! I'm very drastic la. I'd just talk to them. Presents I won't chip in. I am generous to generous people; selfish to selfish people and I'm not afraid to offend. But you take your own course of action.

I'm just saying these people don't make good friends at all. No need to get so sad over it. Just hihi bye bye heehee haha can liao.

mlmersrlosers SG

I'm just saying these people don't make good friends at all. No need to get so sad over it. Just hihi bye bye heehee haha can liao.

Thanks alot i guess I can only socialise with them for the sake of schoolwork and projects. There is still alot of time left so I try to broaden my circle. As for the bdae gift in the future, I wun chip in unless im cook wif them.

candiz SG

be thankful they at least willing to hang out wif u :)

however, seems like u ar not dat close to them, so don't chip in la nxt time.

trustworthy, reliable frens takes time to find, be patient, they'll come along eventually, don't be too disheartened

mlmersrlosers SG

be thankful they at least willing to hang out wif u :)

however, seems like u ar not dat close to them, so don't chip in la nxt time.

trustworthy, reliable frens takes time to find, be patient, they'll come along eventually, don't be too disheartened

ya even my other close frens I didnt celebrate nor give gifts to each other de we just send yo happy birthday grow old liao... simple msg. Its just that they like to celebrate bdae so just go along wif them. Accept their custom.

mlmersrlosers SG

only read a few post..

lessons learnt from MY experience:

nv commit urself too much in a friendship/a group of friend

nv treat them as friends, just playmates.. unless u really have a trustworthy, mature, willing to commit kind of friend..

here is one of my story that hurt me...

more thing u can know from my previous AA thread... "i am at a lost"

so i learnt that nv treat anyone a friend.. but a playmate.. or maybe a studymate...

only recognise a friend as friend when he/she commits himself/herself to the relationship... as in friend...

tho this sounds like BGR but it can also be applied to reallife friendship...

also, as some ppl said that "do not be too SERIOUS", also somewhat means that do not commit urself in the friendship too much...

good luck.
IA

oh the one about maple? haha i read...

furb SG

To me the word 'Friends' means group of people with common interest.

Once its over so is the relationship called 'Friends'.

TS such scenario happen lots of time so take it easy. My current schoolmates is also somewhat like that. When they need help, they flock to you. When you are useless to them/need some help, they can just abandon you to a side/ignore you.

I just hang around them and laugh/joke around but do not commit into such 'Friendship' too much.

DemonicalAngel SG

Just my point of view from reading all your post…
You keep saying that you dont mind that other “forget” to celebrate your birthday then why you still post this staff??
The moment you post this mean you mind alot. If you really dont mind about it, you wont keep saying that you dont mind and still keep asking why they forgot…
And for your infor, in this real world, not everything come in as what we want. You may had plan all your way but some part will still go out of your planing..

Just take me for a example..
I know that i am not the popular one amount my friend. And i dont alway chip in money for their celebration. I only chip in as and when i like.. As i know for sure they wont do it for me.. And for the past 10 year, i got nobody to celebrate my brithday with me untill i get myself a real close gf.
Everyyear i being waiting to see who will be the one to be real friend enough to “remember” my birthday. But everyyear i get disappointed. But hey, so what when they forget your birthday?? The sun still come out, the day still shine and the earth still rotate. It not like that you will die when they forget your birthday. It not like that they wont be your friend when they forget your birthday. Ask yourself, you want some truth friend or just some birthday celebrating friend??

If you really want them to “remember” your birthday, you might as well treat them to your “birthday treat”. This move will make them have no choice but to buy something back to you.. But this also show that for everything and time you spent on them, you want the same amount of thing and time back..

My only advise to you is that dont think too much on this matter. Remember birthday or not is no big deal. As for that girl, what she want to do is her problem. If you dont like her, why do you care whether she talk to everyone else behind your back but not to you?? She have her freedom to do thing she like.. In the outside world, everyone is wearing a mask.. They can be a “real” friend in front of you. But they wont ask you anyway and anything when you are not in front of them.. Choose your friend carefully. Most of the so call friend we have are the passerby friend. Amount those they will only be a few that can stay and become your thruth friend. Dont need to care much about what other do and say.. As long as you done all your staff right and make sure you got nothing for them to say back can already..

Stay happy is more better than “worry” so much on this tiny little staff right???

mlmersrlosers SG

ya thats right im not gonna chip in in the future unless I find the person can be friends. No la the girl inside the group wait she spread rumors behind my back i how to “hun”? ahaha ren yan ke wei wor…its like backstabbing lor The main organiser normally is the girl and a guy in my group. The guy likes her. So there’s something going on btwn him n her i think. I being naive la think that if I treat people well, they will also treat me well. The bdae incident shows these.

mlmersrlosers SG

To me the word 'Friends' means group of people with common interest.

Once its over so is the relationship called 'Friends'.

I just hang around them and laugh/joke around but do not commit into such 'Friendship' too much.

I think clear liao thanks to u all forummers doesnt affect me much. I still have alot of good frens. Can tehn mix around. Cannot then hi bye lor. I dun lose anything.

shade343 SG

Birthday celebrations are a waste of time and money...lol

Especially if you are the one always paying and not getting anything in return..lol

Mk7 SG

Don't bother larr.
Those people aren't friends.
Don't chip in. They ask why, just say, nowadays no money, you help me pay first if you really need my share.

But must state that you won't return the money so soon la.
Sometimes, if ppl celebrate my birthday, I feel obligated to chip in to other ppl birthday.
walan eh. wallet breaker.

mlmersrlosers SG

i dun mind if im working but im not. my parent give me pocket money now and then. But it is limited la. I rather spend them on treating my very close frens.

ItchyArmpit SG

TS.. just a piece of advice..

dun commit urself too much in a friendship.. u will nv noe... they may betray u sometime..

so when u spend anything with ur so called "very close friend".. make sure dun commit ur feeling too much..

if not a little incident like this birthday stuffs.. will also sad.. may even cry sometimes..

so good luck

edit: true friends are hard to find... some dun even find it in a lifetime.. i myself dun believe in true friends..

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