I found a longtime friend on a networking site. A little
background here: he use to notice me a lot in the past but we did
not communicate with each other because we are both
too shy.
Well, and because I do not have a picture of myself (I am camera
phobic due to constant teasing of my looks, I am not confident
enough to take pictures) so naturally, he did not recognize me at
first on that site, what's more going only by my name.
Alrite, so by fate, we saw each other by coincidence in a
marketplace so I gave it another try and told him I was that person
he saw and he finally asked me if I was in his previous school so
and so. I replied yes, i was in so and so and asked him
if it's possible to meet and catch up but I got no replies.
Days and week passes by, he put up his msn contact and I got
hold of the chance to add him in there.
He came online and asked me who am I. I told him it was me, and
he said 'o hi' and I continued the conversation though he stopped
me abruptly because he claimed he was busy.
The second one was good. I was fooling and joking with him and
he responded quite amicably.
The third conversation was the part where he asked me what I was
doing and where I am studying at. I told him it was a secret and
well, he even said that I know more about him than he knows about
me, so it isn't fair right. But actually, I have my own troubles in
telling him what I do though I finally did and told him some vague
information about myself.
And so the latest fourth and fifth conversation continues...but
the point is, throughout those conversations, he sounded like he is
obliging me to chat and not even putting his feelings into it. I
don't know why I kept deluding myself that somewhere, someday we
might be able to meet up and be some sort of friends or
whatever.
What's more, he is in his first year Uni right now and me? I am
only at the pace where I have to start picking myself up and go
into a private school to further my studies and it's not even a
degree :(
He could have expected some people from his uni to chat with him
instead of his friends from the past. I mean, I know that life in
uni would probably be much more exciting than any other college or
high school combined.
I am really envious of his life and yet at the same
time, I felt so unworthy to chat with him and yet trying to expect
something out of him.
I think it's more about you yourself than it is with him over
you.
You just have a mental barrier trapping yourself in a cage
telling yourself that you're not worthy to be even his friend due
to the differences in education.
Come on gal, lets face reality!!
These days it's not a matter of education, it's a matter of
money and confidence which runs the show..
With more money comes more confidence now that we can spend on
improving our own looks via natural means.
You just need to get out from the mental barrier that you're
trapping yourself in currently.
I used to have similar thoughts about such differences, but when
I started working, education no longer is important given that the
hash society is run by money and those with lots of money will have
more power and position to speak up.
It's the adult world that matters, don't be trapped in the
educaiton world whereby there's lots of competition.
