agreed.. but now v hard to tahan when she's mean to me.. this
morning her tone was like so totally wrong when she talked/yelled
at me.. and den my tone came out being totally wrong as well =X den
lydat i was so pissed off, i just let her yell at me anything she
wanted (without saying anything) and i just left the house for my
lesson. (again without saying anything)
yupz, he's not part of our lives liaox. got over it long ago
though, so no worries about this aspect.
yea, about the "single parent bringing up two teenage
children" yadda yadda, i get that as well. as in,
wo ming bai.. i know she got alot of stress... plus her work stress
blah blah..but i got too..its not just her that get stress, that
get angry.. (aiyo im making excuses again). but i did tell my aunt
when she came over to counsel me, that she always says "i v tired,
u go do everything"..
i told her, why issit she always talk like shes the only one
that can get tired (and i cant), why she's the only one that can
make mistakes (and i cant - she always make it seem like my fault
when i make mistake, even when i wanted to apologise liao, den her
stupid tone and remarks make me so incensed i just forget all about
apologising. and when she makes mistakes, her excuse is "all humans
err". LOL) but suan le larh.. just wanted to rant. HAHAS.
yea cos im super lazy so i usually don do things that benefit
me..unless the results are gotten straightaway..im not good at
planning for future blah blah..and i like playing better..always
procrastinate..all d bad things..
got lah, she got say she give up on me. den nxt day come and
yell at me. wahsay. abit hypocrite hor. still dare to lecture me
"must do what you say". =XX v good role-model indeed. XD
aiyo, i duno my family at all..my bro also like that one. v hard
to get things from him. like, i ask to borrow his book. he will say
'later later'. den nv give me. but when he ask to borrow my stuff,
i give him same attitude, den he hound me all the time, until i
pass it to him. if i hound him, he get angry and shout at me. den,
when i complain to my mum, she takes his side. UNFAIR. my bro took
the hard disk (That has all my stuff) i been asking him to pass me
back so i can use, he just said "i'm using" and conveniently
'forget'. whereas, if i owe him 10 cents, he will come after me for
that 10cents, even after 1 month. super selective memory hor?
asking me to tell my mum is no use de. she sides him. he is soooo
mean. and yet, to others, he is the best boy/cousin/son/nephew that
anyoen can ask for. someone ask him for something? sure, i give to
u. if i ask him for soemthing, he ignore me/conveniently 'forget'.
mum also same attitude. ask *VERY NICELY* her if she saw my things
(Cos i forgot where i put), den she straightaway "NO?! HOW I KNOW
WHERE U PUT UR THINGS?!" bro also same. waaaaa.
cant blame me for hating this 'family' can u?? and that is my
YOUNGER brother.
i know u also suffered and u also feel tired of the family
squabbles... i guess ur mum still hasn't figured out how to handle
situations between u and ur younger brother properly.
it's common to assume that as a parent, a mother shld know
everything, and be able to handle every situation adequately. she
may have done u wrong, but she's still learning...
my mum has always used this line on me, whenever we quarrel:
next time when u become a parent, u will know how hard it is.
i din have a gd relationship wif her for many years cos i stayed
at my aunt's house when i was young, and i also had lots of
resentment against her. i tot she din trust me and felt really
misunderstood. my first job was stressful and sometimes need to
work until 10pm or even as late as 1am. but when i worked late, she
scolded me and said tt i lied and tt i was out "gallivanting" wif
my friends.
it was only until she was diagnosed with cancer and almost died
last yr that i really began to regret all the times i shouted at
her, and made her cry. later i realised tt she was only so
suspicious of me, because she was prob having depression, unhappy
wif her life and her marriage.
it's not ur fault tt life is so hard for u... but it's not ur
mum's fault too... have u considered tt maybe ur mum nv got over ur
dad? as a woman, i can tell u it's nt so easy to forget someone tt
u were married to.
u can't change ur mum... but u can slowly try to forgive her...
and help her find her own balance in life.
have u ever considered going for counselling to talk out ur
probs?
or, if u feel really stifled at home, maybe u can consider
moving out? or look for a job tt will send u overseas?
u have nothing to lose. at first prob ur relatives will
talk, but u can dun care them.
sometimes it's better to apart, cos we dun see what we have
until we lose it. who knows? maybe after u move away, ur mum
will start to miss u, and be nicer to u?
