how to avoid this awkward situation?

display_name_taken SG

I have a misunderstanding with a very close friend a few months back.. For some unknown reason, she suggested that we shouldnt be friends and keep in contact anymore... Till now, it is still not solved as she didnt reply me whenever i asked her bout it.. then i stopped contacting her after that..

But recently, as promised long ago, we wanted to a small lunch gathering.. so i did the organising stuff... and we'll be meeting up tmr..

I dunno if i should treat as if nth happened or avoid talking to her which might make me look as if i'm petty..? Somehow it will be very awkward to meet up i guess... but i'm looking forward to meeting the other 2..

PS: small gathering, 4 pple in total including me... one of them knows we're not in good term anymore...

skythewood SG

to avoid, don't go

Rock^Star SG

What a farked up ans. To avoid, don't go. Baby also know sia.

Just go la......nothing to hide, since ur other two fave frens are there. Perhaps u may like to call her up privately for a chat before u go. Try to resolve it. If she doesn't reciprocate, then jus leave it i guess. We cant force pple who change their minds to be our frens, can we?

the Bear SG

smile.. offer your hand in friendship..

make the first move...

not much to lose and the whole world to gain...

good luck!

skythewood SG

What a farked up ans. To avoid, don't go. Baby also know sia.

simple problem, simple solution.

rlsh07 SG

smile.. offer your hand in friendship..

make the first move...

not much to lose and the whole world to gain...

good luck!

i totally agree

Lorry` SG

If i were you, I will go. I must go. The more i want to go ar.

And i will talk to the person. Dont be rude ma.

If she doesnt want to reply me, it's ok.

Fantagf SG

Go and put aside your differences with your friend during the gathering. Anything to be sorted out with her, do it after meeting up tomorrow.

cathykitty SG

u've decided to go right? try to talk to her as normally as possible. it might be awkward, but ur two other friends will be there, so it won't get too bad.

when u address her directly, though, do gauge her response. if she shows that she is still unhappy with you, just respect her wishes and talk with our other frens instead.

charlize SG

Organise a mahjong game among the 4 of you after the gathering.

Let her win a 6 double limit game with the winning card thrown by you.

Confirm she will forgive whatever transgressions you had done to her before.

parn SG

But recently, as promised long ago, we wanted to a small lunch gathering.. so i did the organising stuff... and we'll be meeting up tmr..

PS: small gathering, 4 pple in total including me... one of them knows we're not in good term anymore...

Have you forgiven her for what has happened in the past?

Have you forgiven yourself for whatever happened between the two of you?

If you have answered "YES" to the above questions, then you are already in the correct mindset and READY to meet up with her.

As long as you have forgiven her and yourself, you must understand that the ball is now in her hands. She needs to forgive you and herself for whatever happened in the past between the two of you.

Don't worry too much about how she is still feeling towards you if you have already done your part and have already forgiven all those that need to be forgiven in order for you to move on with your lives.

You cannot control how she have decided to perceive you based on the past, but you can show her how you perceived yourself in the present.

display_name_taken SG

okay... I dunno if i've really forgiven her.. just that, the anger i had doesnt exist right now... but hard to say if i meet her in person... but i'll be going after all cos i organised it.. hmmm... guess i will see how she decides this friendship.. thanks alot pple.. =)

^C ^ SG

xaih SG

go ba.if not it'll seem like you're avoiding.

probably you'r will be able to clear the misunderstanding on that day?with the help of your other 2 friends?

you never know unless you go.

xoxbox SG

well since ur little gathering has ended.. i suggest u sms her or tell her this "im so so SO SO! sorry for what i've done. i dun know wat i've done but please dun get angry.. i just want us to be best friends like we were :). will you forgive me?T-T.. please reply me :D"

maybe that MIGHT help, if it fails. buy roses, go to her house, apologize for something that u had done but didnt realize and pray to god that she forgives u.

display_name_taken SG

Hmmm... well... she didnt turn up.. cos she overslept.. i dun think i should settle such problem with them around, just in case it turns ugly.. Eh, roses and stuff only for couples? o.O

joyanz SG

smile.. offer your hand in friendship..

make the first move...

not much to lose and the whole world to gain...

good luck!

i so agree with the bear! if u still want to keep this friendship.. dont be afraid to make the 1st move! this isnt a matter of who give in to who 1st. its about who treasures this friendship more! if she dont appreciate that that u are making the 1st move(eg ignoring u/ fu yan u) dont be disheartened! try again when time has sort of washed of the misunderstanding/damage done. time heals all wounds right?

but if she consistently dont appreciate ur moves.............................i suggest u reconsider keeping this friend of urs. obviously she doesnt treasure the friendship that the both of u shared. plus i think its not v healthy to have one party constantly making the effort to patch up and the other party not appreciating at all(UNLESS U DID SOME MAJOR DAMAGE TO THE OTHER PARTY LA)