I realised that i have changed alot since the break-up. It seems
that i have grown disinterested in stuffs that we used to do
and things that i have personally enjoyed. Sometime it just reminds
me of him. Tthe emotional scars and bad memories leaves me a
cold cold heart. It feels like a part of my heart has died.
Sometime I can feel my right hand tremble when i think of him..
Guess i was quite trumatized.
I have thought about what had happened and i guess i don't blame
him all. He has his own reasons. Sometime, i'm also to be
blamed.
However, i wonder if my heart will ever recover from this
chapter of my life. Will there coldness and bitterness that linger
on in my life that be continuing on or finally go away?
I don't think i can ever find someone to replace him cos he is
unique. He makes me laugh and he brighten up my day. However, he
also makes my heart broken and shattered into million pieces.. I'm
no longer loving him and this thought sometime could become
twisted.. like i could fantasized that he will regret his behaviour
and decision. However, eventaully, i could hope that both of us
will move on well from this relationship. It is better this way for
me too.
everyone is unique. and he's not the only one who can make you
laugh. in fact, i'm sure if i crack a joke now, you'll laugh too!
;)
you'll be stuck in an unhealthy pattern if you keep thinking
that he's "the only one". break out of it, and you'll be on your
way to finding the life and happiness you want.
anyway, generally all guys who are charming and funny can make
girls laugh. it's really very easy for them. and that is why they
popular with many girls (not just you)!
but does it mean that we gotta choose them to be our boyfriends?
or we gotta wait for them forever?
long term happiness is more than just cracking jokes or
brightening someone's day. it's also abt commitment. if this guy is
super charming... nothing will ever come out of it if he doesn't
want to commit to you.
conversely, someone who is not so funny and cute could grow on
you over time if he shows that he is sincere abt you.
sometimes i also fantasise tt my ex is totally regretting it.
but guess what? my logic tells me tt he's not! he's prob happily
leading his life now.
if u can try to use your logical mind to stop ur fantasies... it
will do you a lot of good and make you a much happier gal. :)
