This is my first post in AA, have been
reading some of the posts in AA and find that some of the advice
given is really good, so hopefully you guys can help me on this as
its been bugging me for days.
Ok here’s my agony, I’ve recently been to a
school camp and got to know this girl, and never in my life I’ve
such strong feelings for a person. I duno if it’s a crush or
love(how do you find out?) however now I’m still in the process of
getting to know her more. We’re both 3rd year poly
students and would be graduating next January, I’ve already planned
to go overseas straight after graduation to start on some courses
and be back by July to serve the nation. I’m now in a dilemma that
should I go after her or just remain as a casual Hi-bye friend,
it’s like 2 more months before I leave SG. If I’m rejected would I
be able to take it and move on? Or would I be left emo and miss her
while I’m in another country? If she accepts me, what would happen
to our newly formed relationship? Are we both matured enough to
carry on? I’m 20 this year while she’s 21. I’ve
even have the thought of cancelling my plans to go overseas just to
be with her(just a wild thought).
Pardon me for my weak command of English
and thanks for reading.
How well does this girl knows you at the present? Does she knows
you well enough to enter into a relationship together with you?
Or maybe I should phrase it in another way....
How well do you allow this girl to know you since both of you
became friends? Is she comfortable in the current friendship with
you to bring it to the next level?
You can have plenty of dreams, ambitions about your future and
go ahead to declare your love for her and show her that you are
willing to sacrifice all of that just for her sake.
And guess what? She's not going to love you for all the
sacrifices that you have made for her, at least not me.
She would be more likely to accept you because she knows how
much she is loved and cared for by you.....and not how much
sacrifices you have made for her to make her feel guilty and
responsible towards you.
Your approach is wrong but since both of you are still young,
you never know how things are going to happen in the future, so
don't be naive and do not sacrifice your future for anyone...at
least I won't.
Every relationship begins from friendship and if she is
comfortable in being in a friendship with you, there are always
plenty of opportunities to her to allow you to bring this
friendship to the next level.
Your friendship level does not depends on how much you know
about her, it's actually relies more on how much she knows about
you.
Good luck. 
