those in r/s will u be concern over what he did for his ex?

Cheerybun26 SG · 2008-10-17T20:07:52+00:00

thank you people! =) feeling much better actually after venting it all out..now our smsing exchange i feel i am more at ease already...though still trying an...

Cheerybun26 SG

for those girls in r/s now.

will u girls be concern over what sweet/normal thing he did to his ex that he never do to you?

will u girls be concern over those sweetest/normal thing or talk he say to his ex but he never say to you?

when you are going out and walking towards him or when he saw you, does he break a smile or have that sian or barely smile look?

is there a problem with me?

i dont know why i suddenly get so concern over him n his ex.

probably coz i feel the love feeling faded and we are together only weeks havent 1 month yet. =(

i feel that i cant get into a relationship. i mean i love loving someone but when we are together i dont feel i love him as much as before when we are still friends.

my mind is in a daze whenever i am out with him now. i dont know why! i loved him for very long already. but when he is now together with me i dont love him as much or should i say out of 10 i only have 4/10 feelings for him? i am tired.

Cheerybun26 SG

to add on

will you girls be concern if your bf say the same thing to his ex when he is wooing her and to you he say the same thing.

and for the guys do you guys usually say the same thing when wooing a girl?

Lorry` SG

And how would you know what he have said to his ex he did not say them to you??

Did you ask him bout it, or he told you bout his past?

So what if he did something to his ex and did not do them to you? You might get somethin from him that his ex didnt receive....

The problem why you didnt love him as much you did before you 2 get together is prob because you have already owned him now. It's like that Cuz the 'conquest' has over. And thats just one possibility.

generation90 SG

of course i dont like if my bf says the same thing to his ex and me. if i were you, i'll just tell him. a relationship will not work if there's only one-sided love.

Cheerybun26 SG

lorry i dont know if i should say you are right...im very confused...i know it coz of his ex blog n ppl tell me..but he didnt tell me.

during the courtship days is actually more interesting and entertaining..but after we r together things seems to be very bored to me maybe to him too. coz girls can feel it dont they? im finding so hard to entertain him like the way when we were friends....whyyy

generation you mean im one sided to him?

Lorry` SG

Then you shouldnt have 'dig' his stuffs in the first place.... Past is past, you dont have to go dig out all the history and 'examine' them piece by piece.... it will bring more chaos because to compare such thing like love, it is never ending, and cannot be compared.... If you did these (diggin), either you are just very curious bout his pasts or that you are insecure. I dont who are the 'people' but i dont know whats their intention for tellin you all these.

Courtships days are of course exciting cuz you 2 havent get what you all want yet.. so you all will tend to put in more effort in it.... When the 'mission' has ended (both of you get together), is that it? No....

Anyway, did he put in any effort to make the r/s to be more interesting and not died out? Or is that just you, the only one who do all the planning?
If he did not make an effort to plan, you gotta talk to him bout it. He might be comfortable with the r/s and not knowing something has went wrong but you dont, so you gotta talk to him and you all gotta do something bout it.

icyboiz SG

ppl tend to compare between yr own partner and yr ex, or yr partner 's ex, i can tell u it's unhealthy for relationship. dun ever compare , it'll kill faster.

BangHong SG

dont keep compare.... It's no use comparing. Are you feeling insecure miss? From what you are saying, you felt love is fading and you have no/little confidence in continuing. In a rs everything should be quite normal.. Like a river flow, shouldnt be much problem like thinking how to please him or what. Should come automatically for the first 3months (honey moon 3month, thats what they called)

If you are feeling like this, i think its best to let your partner know and see if you all should carry on further.

marcos_84 SG

No No No… This is a mistake! One shouldn be comparing things/people. Ren bi ren.. qi si ren. Heard b4? Even if he never say certain things to his ex, how abt his ex-ex and his ex-ex-ex? How to confirm? Tough right? Then why must you go think abt it lei? Some things are always best left unknown/unsaid.

Coming to think abt it, it needs a lot of fate for a relationship to start. Singapore got 4pus million people lei… So Treasure the relationship and don’t think silly. Just relax and enjoy what this relationship can bring you and him.Stay happy!

BrUtUs SG

for those girls in r/s now.

will u girls be concern over what sweet/normal thing he did to his ex that he never do to you?

will u girls be concern over those sweetest/normal thing or talk he say to his ex but he never say to you?

when you are going out and walking towards him or when he saw you, does he break a smile or have that sian or barely smile look?

is there a problem with me?

i dont know why i suddenly get so concern over him n his ex.

probably coz i feel the love feeling faded and we are together only weeks havent 1 month yet. =(

i feel that i cant get into a relationship. i mean i love loving someone but when we are together i dont feel i love him as much as before when we are still friends.

all u should b concern abt is the reason they ended... otherwise u should b enjoying times wif him rather than thinking abt useless stuffs... relax n u will live more happier...

Cheerybun26 SG

thank you ppl...i really appreciate it.. but actually it all come down to 1 thing..that is feeling kind of change.. =(

its like before we are couple we always tease n joke n entertain...but after being a couple i feel like i am having difficulties trying to humour him...and i think he feel the same way too from his sms like trying very hard

coz what we sms now is like everyday but havent couple yet we dont do it everyday...and the sms is like so moody perhaps we talk more seriously about life now? i dont know..

its a girl's instinct...dont know can be trusted anot though.

BrUtUs SG

thank you ppl...i really appreciate it.. but actually it all come down to 1 thing..that is feeling kind of change.. =(

coz what we sms now is like everyday but havent couple yet we dont do it everyday...and the sms is like so moody perhaps we talk more seriously about life now? i dont know..

its a girl's instinct...dont know can be trusted anot though.

how old both of u?

Cheerybun26 SG

BangHong SG

think before u do anything, my advice.

rainee SG

I think because things are getting to be a routine for the two of you? Don't message each other for the sake of messaging. I think when you were just friends with him, you don't feel the pressure to need to do anything for him, as in you don't need to prove that you can humour him, don't need to feel like you are responsible to message him everyday...but once you are in the relationship you get this idea that you must do all these things, because to you, these are things that other successful couples have done so you must do them too...

Is it because of that you begin to feel a bit weighted down? You feel that the relationship should be as free and carefree as during the courtship days but yet now you feel as if you owe it to him that you do something more?

xiiaostarry SG

i also will feel like that eh~~

i will even ask him qns like : "did both of u did this tgt in the past?" or "have u done the same thing for her also?"

is like there's some kind of urge for u to question him..though it isn't good lah...it will only add strain to the r/s..

but..still..i have difficulties in curbing that urge to dig up his past..lols..but chey..he's also doing the same thing mah =x

it is ok as long as both of u don't get into any arguments or quarrels over digging up each otr's stuff..cuz i did know of some couples who parted their ways cuz of this issue..

Cheerybun26 SG

rainee somewhat you are right...but its the feeling...is it coz i havent been in a r/s for too long that i am not used to having a person in my life..

but actually its just the feeling....i just find it so hard to humour him whenever i am smsing him my mind is practically in a daze...

we havent even 1 month....whats wrong with me..this is what i want and dream of but turns out this way....

rainee SG

rainee somewhat you are right...but its the feeling...is it coz i havent been in a r/s for too long that i am not used to having a person in my life..

but actually its just the feeling....i just find it so hard to humour him whenever i am smsing him my mind is practically in a daze...

we havent even 1 month....whats wrong with me..this is what i want and dream of but turns out this way....

You just need to relax and enjoy the process rather than focusing so hard on why you are unable to humour him. Last time when you were both just friends, you are not so focused on your ability to make him laugh so that's why there is less pressure and easier to joke around. But now you are putting this burden upon yourself...of course it is hard to come up with a joke on demand.

So what I am suggesting is...try to go back to the way you were before and see him as a friend as well as a lover. Doesn't mean that now he is your boyfriend he has ceased to be your friend. Don't need to force yourself to be someone you are not, just be yourself and everything will go according to flow. The more you stress out, the more unnatural the whole thing will be and the more awkward both of you will feel.

As you have said, you haven't been together with him for more than a month...sometimes being a relationship needs a little getting used to. Give yourself and him a little bit more time and communication is also important. Maybe you can bring up this issue with him and see what is his opinion? =)

de_middle SG

lorry i dont know if i should say you are right...im very confused...i know it coz of his ex blog n ppl tell me..but he didnt tell me.

generation you mean im one sided to him?

people like you shouldn't be getting in a R/S at all.....

what's the point & what do u hope to achieve in digging into his past?

why do u compare what he has done previously against what he's doing now for u?

u have a very big problem & that problem is U....

labbishLife SG

what i can suggest is DO NOT go find out about it unless he told you himself. if he told you and you find it hard to take in, tell him straight in the face.

because, i can tell you, you will keep thinking about them and end up quarrelling with him. i know the urge is strong. i too, am tryin to control. (after i found out too much) T_T