My girl recently told me she is not as interested in the
relationship as before. But seems like she cant bear to let go.
Whats the reason for her to stay on then ? We've been together for
about 2 years. And is it true that most of the time when
the girl says shes nt interested in the r/s, theres someone else
involved?
I think this is a rather general sweeping statement. There may
or may not have been someone else involved. But I do not think that
is the main point.
I just want to voice out what I've seen so far and my take on
relationship issues. Maybe it has to do with Singapore's fast-pace
way of life. Or maybe it's the mass media projection using sex to
sell. Everything seem to work like instant noodle. Pour hot water
and serve. A lot of sad relationships I see arise mainly because of
a lack of understanding and communication. In a relationship, as
days go by, partners tend to take each other for granted and not
put in as much effort as during the courtship days. In my opinion,
a relationship is not like an exam. You do not study just enough to
pass the exam and that's it. A relationship is an ongoing process
which will cause both parties to evolve and change, either for
better or worse.
And so, instead of looking inwards to see how to take the
relationship to the next level, dissatisfaction drives a person to
nit-pick on a partner's faults and resentment occurs. It is usually
one party (or both at different occasions) voicing out his or her
dissatisfaction and the other party ignoring and denying all
tell-tale signs, only to be puzzled at why his/her partner left
him/her, or suddenly become cold, uncaring and
uninteresting.
Communication is absolutely vital. Denying dissatisfactions no
matter how little will not help to solve the problem but instead
will accumulate and be buried over the years. Like a dormant
volcano, it is only waiting to erupt.
Humans are creatures of habit. Some people get so "comfortable"
in a relationship also out of habit. Yes feelings are involved and
"complications" occur. But that doesn't justify all that mess if
one has not sorted out the internal "mess" within one's heart. What
do you want in your own relationship and do you see it happening if
you're already involved? Is there some too unrealistic
expectations? Have you done what could be done? If what you do
don't work, are you using the same unworkable method to secretly
desire the same result?
Not only that, some people get out of such relationships, in
their haste and chase for a new love, only to land themselves in
another one like this, yes you guess it, out of habit. It's a
different partner, with a different face, body and build, status,
social circle etc... but the same relationship patterns occur.
Do you want to be in a relationship out of habit? I'm not sure
for you, but I see flaws in such "contentment". If you know and
have what you could do to improve your situation, would you do
it?
