I don’t know. I just feel as though I’m in a mess.
Failing in school, no particular outstanding achievements.
Had changed so much since I was in primary school. Is that what
growing up do to you? It just fucked my life up totally..Whatever
that I used to do, I stopped doing them, and I kept to myself..
I don’t know what I want in life, what I want to be when I grow
up, I just live everyday aimlessly, living on for tomorrow,
enduring what everyday has got in store for me.
Recently got 0/30 for a math test. Like what the fuck? 0/30? I
have always sucked at math, but getting a 0/30..was depressing I
would say. And it was especially so when I though I would actually
pass it.
Now in school, I am famous for getting 0/30. Getting 0/30 for
math was near impossible, and that was what I thought when I heard
that there were 2 other people who did so.
I have always tried to keep up, always trying to give a damn,
always asking questions, always doing my best.
But when am I going to see the results of my hard work?
Any teens in the same shit that I am in? Feeling down? Feeling
aimless and feeling like shit?
Worst still, I’m in a rather famous school in which students are
known for their intelligence, even though not all of them go along
with this idea.
I have expectations to live up to, both mine, and others. I have
already tried very hard to achieve them, and yet, my standards for
myself are dropping yearly while failing to meet them.
Life appears to be mundane to me now, all the shit that I do
everyday that repeats itself drives me crazy…
I’m known to be rather hardworking and friendly amongst my
friends, but I don’t do as well (academically) as compared to those
who seem to not give a fuck..
Really don’t know what to do now..
If you don't work hard now, you'll suffer more later. Like it or
not, in Singapore, unless you're filthy rich; or that you have some
damn unique business idea, in the end, the thing to fall back on is
some of the basic paper qualification. Only 15 yrs old nia, still
got hope.
If you think you're not good in studies, then have to understand
why, seek help from school, this is what teachers are for, to help
you to achieve the necessary academic requirements (note:I didn't
say becoming top student or what, don't stress out).
If you're really competent in a subject, there's no reason you
will have your standard drop, rather, it's because you have a weak
comprehension in your tests/exams questions. You will need more
experience, practices and help from teachers to help you with
this.
As in you don't know what you want in the future, I can tell
you, even when you know what you want in the future, you may not
end up be what you wanted. This is due to the changes in society
and the changes in you. As you grow up, you will find that your
priorities and interests start to change, not that it is bad, but
the way you see things and the things that you treasure may
gradually change.
And you harping on the 0/30 for your maths test, did you find
out WHY you get 0?
Don't live up to other's expectation but live for your own. Set
your own targets, no matter how small, an achievement is an
achievement. Say you can aim for just a passing grade for your next
maths test, then gradually thinking of scoring a band B then to
band A.
I used to have a teacher who told me this:
In Singapore, you may not know what you want now for life, but
that's okay, just score the best in all subjects so that in time to
come, you get to choose your interest of study; and not the other
way round.
