I am girl who is in 3rd year of polytechnic studies... I have a
part-time job that earns me good money... So as you have read, I am
super busy...
The thing is my BF thinks that i am not committed to the r/s
because I dont spend enough time with him... I go out with
him on most sundays.( sometimes go out with friends)...
For the rest of the week I am busy with either school or
work....
One more thing... He's very possesive, any time of the day he
would call me for no apparent reason...And when he sees a guy
talk to me, he would be very aggressive in the way he talks to that
guy... WTH????
He's also studying but not working,,, So when we go out, i want
to eat in a more expensive restaurant(can afford), he would drag me
to the nearest coffee shop to eat... I dont mind paying for his
meal...He could treat me for the movie or something... Everything
he wants to pay...
Is sg that hot ? Every where he goes, he wears T-shirt, shorts
and sandals... Nothing else... Even when meeting my parents...
I am a person with big dreams... And when i share my
thoughts on how to persue these dreams, he ALWAYS puts me
down!!!
We have been dating for 2 years BTW... Last night, he called and
said that our r/s has strained... I thought everything was fine...
And he blamed everything on me... He said that I should focus more
on him...
How? What should I do? Is it really my fault that he feels that
way?
In a relationship, derived from struggle
between masculine and feminine roles, self-centrism on positioning
often contributed to the root of BGR dissatisfaction because either
side will formulate a structure of what they deemed as an
appropriate patterns, personalities or behaviours required from
their Significant Other (SO), while demanding the manifestation of
this ideal. Almost like a mannequin, with no life force - one must
understand that every human being is unique, hence it's difficult
to fashion their style and personality into a structured model.
Of course there are ways to do it, but that's another topic for
another day.
This give rise to incompatibility, which are often unrevealed
until the birth of the relationship and later. Most people coped
with such indifferences with various degrees of adjustments and
compromising, but there are bound to be cases where major discord
will materialize through the latent dysfunctional effect of
incompatibility. Many times, it crippled the relationship until
gradual death occurs or it simply grants instant annihilation.
Your man presents a classic male chauvinist in Love - the
insecure male constantly exerting implicit pressure on their other
half, through the eyes of his distorted perception and fear of
competition from the other more seemingly 'competent' males. The
actual concept of competency doesn't matter in this case, in fact
everyone will appear to him as a potential contender. A male
chauvinist often finds it a burden to change their attitude because
he rationalize his personality as 'fixidity' and often claimed that
his possessiveness and jealousy are 'natural behaviour' of being
boyfriend. Thus he is unmotivated to change himself (being causal
in his dressing, unromantic, or whatever) and choose to mask his
insecurity by coercing his partner to demote her beliefs to his
values.
Finger pointing and believing that his woman is the cause of the
strain in the relationship.
Big dreams? Ah, hack it - your place lies in the kitchen and
tending the kids. Forget about having a social life too. If you
don't obey, you are the strain of the relationship.
In this contemporary era, the evolution of Love also changes as
society transformed itself. The patriarchal perceptive, roles and
function of what a relationship ought to be is waning and there is
a greater calling for mutual respect and consideration in what's
better for the relationship as a whole and not some specific parts.
First Law of
Love states: it is we who chose our partners, not the other way
round. You make the decision to be with him two
years ago and now you are lamenting about this drastic
incompatibility you are finding yourself at odd with - wouldn't it
question the identity of the relationship and the reason that give
birth to it's existence?
A male chauvinist is almost an affliction for life - they
usually don't differ very much away from the formation of this
personality because of cultural, social and reiterated self
rationalizing - a faculty of the distorted mind and not from the
pristine quality of the heart.
Understanding this, you probably need a session - not to trash -
but to decide how you want your relationship to move on from here.
By dragging a relationship to continue in the original fashion
probably only suggest delaying the inevitable. If there is
something in the relationship worth fighting for and still relevant
enough to remain, then some kind of agreement needs to be cast in
stone and be adhered.
It would be wise to communicate first, before you decide upon
departure.
For everyone is entitled a chance to understand the alternate
perspective of the relationship from their other half before any
ultimatum is slammed upon them. 
Cheers
