Therefore, it makes no sense to find out whether your potential
partner is sexually "compatible" or not because that is
not even the
key to a
fulfilling sex life in a long-term relationship. The real
key is to UNDERSTAND one another and to learn how
to COMMUNICATE with your potential partner. And
you can't do that when you are too busy "arhhh..." or "mmm..." in a
heated state of physical passion.
Therefore, slow down
on the physical progression, pull back if you must (make
sure to bring up to your partner why, otherwise he/she might have
the idea you are withdrawing to "punish" him/her) and focus
more on the talking, doing things together and see if you
like just merely being around with your prospective partner
without the petting/sex/close bodily contact. See
if you like the way your partner handles things and whether you can
accept his/her ways.
The common pitfall, for guys especially, is to treat a beautiful
girl as if she's "the one" by plunging headlog into a physical
relationship, only to emerge disillusioned when her personality doesn't match up to
what you had expected (Your ideals of true love).
The common pitfall, for girls especially, is to think that a guy
is seriously interested in you, especially when he seems physically
attracted to you. And then, in a mistaken bid to hang
on to his attraction, a girl makes the mistake of
being too sexually open to the guy, in the notion that it will pay off in
future, thinking that "he's the one for me". Don't ever do
that. If the guy cools off, let him be. If he's really into you, he
will not expect more than what you are ready for. A lot of times,
girls think that they are ready for a physically intimate
relationship when in
reality they are not. Just think about it, why do you think
you are ready? Is it because the guy promised that he will do
whatever you need and be there for you always? Did he really say
all that explicitly (tacky/vague assurance don't count)? More
importantly, did he ALREADY demonstrate all
these traits? If not, hold back and quit living in your
imaginations and false confidence that "he's the one". You
will prevent yourself from being hurt, affecting your next
relationship with your "trust
issues" and also, you'll be more able to enjoy
yourself in the present with your partner instead
of habouring the past or engaging in fantasies of the future which
might never come true.
