Hi all, a new-comer here. Just hope to hear some opinions from
guys (or girls) point of view with regards to the situation.
Before i go into anything, i'll just state my belief first.
I'm sure alot out there heard of this before: In life, there'll
always be three people in your life. The one you love the most. The
one that love you the most. And the one that you eventually end up
with. Most of the time, they wont be the same person. And if he/she
is, congrats :)
Ok, do pardon the length. Here goes.
I came to know of this guy, let's name him, W, last year. To me,
he's just a normal friend then. We message occassionally. Sometimes
daily, depends if there's anything to chat about or not. (By the
way, he's in ns now)
He'd kind of accompanied me through some highs & lows in
life, since i'll pretty much message him when i'm bored. So it kind
of becomes a 'habit' to message him. This 'habit' pretty much
lasted for a year.
He's shy in person, but pretty lame when messaging. We'd
never gone out together before. Not one-on-one
(due to his religious belief that guy & girl shouldnt hang out
one-on-one, & i respect that), neither in a group. I did see
him once in a blue moon when there's service. But nothing else from
there.
As a friend, i'm guilty but to say, i've flare up at him alot of
times with some trivial things. I'll ignore his messages & even
treating him invisible in person. Then when i shimmer down a few
days later, i'll just message him as per normal like nothing ever
happens.
But all the while, he'd never, NEVER ever get angry with me
before. This really amaze me. Seriously, even at times i find
myself really unreasonable & i cannot stand myself. I really
wonder how he manage to bear with me. He told me that he'd been a
pretty short-tempered person. But he'd learn not to get angry
easily.
I dont know. I think that pretty much started things? I mean,
which friends dont quarrel? Who wont hurl hurtful remarks at each
other when angry? He never did. And slowly, lately, i realised i
started to develop feeling for him, STRANGELY ENOUGH. Since he
doesnt really fall into the catgory of the type of guy i'll fall
for. It's just very mild feeling, but i noticed it.
I still remembered i once told him, i wanted a 'house-husband'.
Someone who would do the housework. And he replied that he's fine
with doing housework. And though he dont know how to cook, he's
willing to learn. He seems like the 'perfect' guy for me.
I have to say, as
i've earlier stated, i believe he'll fall into the third category.
The one that i'll hope to end up with eventually,
since, like i say, the feeling is very mild. And i know he wont be
the one i'm going to love most. But i think up till date, he's the
one that suit me the most.
As i'm really afraid to fall deeper & get rejection (yes, i
agreed i'm selfish), i decided to 'test water'. So just when i
realise i've feeling for him, a day or two later, i decided to
confess. But just in case, i 'tested water' the whole day. So i
asked him if he'll accept a girl if she confessed. He replied that
it'll depends on who she is, & i was like 'but if you dont like
dont even need to depends what? just reject', which he agreed upon.
After which he just stopped replying, saying that he doesnt feel
really comfortable talking about bgr matters.
That's it. I've the 'do it now or never' mentality. So i just
confessed, via sms. I didnt really goes to him with 'i-like-you'
kind of thing. But i just do it my way which he understands anyway.
He was stunned. And told me he'll give me an answer soon. Which he
did next day afternoon. He rejected me saying that he dont intend
to go into a r/s now or anytime soon. To avoid any awkward &
continue to be friend, & to be truthful, i just told him that
i'm not really serious & the feeling is really mild & i was
just being really random & laugh it off.
Right now, we're back into the friend zone. However, there seems
to be a barrier somewhere. Since then, i called him pretty often.
Nothing better to do, you see. Just bored, as usual. I assume he's
pretty bored too in ns? Assume. There was once when he, too,
told me that he thought of me & wanted to call me, but didnt in
the end. Anyway, i summarise the story & told a guy friend
of mine. Who say that W is just a bastard trying to lead me on.
Which i do agree with abit. How can anyone reject a girl already
still say will think of her? But i think W is just not such a
person? He doesnt seems like. Cause he seems like the pretty good
listener & good friend to other friends too.
Anyway, since the confession, we still message as per normal.
Most of the sms-es are initiated by me, as usual, but sometimes
he'll just message me too. However, lately he hasnt been picking up
my calls anymore. Though he'll still message me after that asking
if i'd called him & so on. He just say he's not able to, the
phone not beside him, he's busy, not convenient in ns, etc. I just
absorb everything, with the thinking that he's just avoiding me
& refusing to pick up those calls (i guess most will agree with
me over here). And well, i just take it as it is.
So the last time i called him was on last Saturday. Which he
pick up & didnt bother messaging me back after that. And on
Sunday, i decided not to message him. But at night, he messaged to
apologise that he's really sorry about not being able to pick up
the calls lately, in which, i didnt reply back. We havent been in
contact these few days. He didnt bother taking initiative to
message me also, neither did i.
So right now, i'm just wondering, what's his stand?
Maybe is just i think too much. But he'd absolutely no interest
in me. Fret not, i'm all ready to move on. And in fact i'm not
staying at the same spot? At least i dont feel hurt or what.
Just that i'm wondering, what he's actually thinking?
Will you guys be able to give me your two penny thoughts from
your point of view?
Thank you very much, and sorry for the lengthy...essay?
Apology.
He does like you based on what you have described....at least
that's what I know.
He's probably shy, confused, shocked, unable to accept your
honesty thru your confession. Hence, he thinks it is wrong for him
to take advantage of your confession to be together with you.
Sometimes hor...guys got this kind of "keeping a distance from
the person they loved" emo fantasy. They feel happy when they have
succeeded in acting cool and expects girls to work harder for them.
But in reality, they will cry later when they realised that they
acted too cool and the girls all repulsive of them already.
It's up to you how much you want to be with him. If you really
like him, then you need to be more straightforward and let him know
outright.
You will know what to do if you really love him right? But do
you really love him?
He's not a MAN if he isn't smart enough to come clean with his
own feelings for you. Let him learn to express himself in the hard
way then. 
