I used to have low confidence in myself....after these few yrs
of polishing up my image and gaining valuable skills, i began to
feel like a new person. In fact, I am on par with everyone else, or
maybe sometimes even better than them. I hate to feel this way.
Being a christian, we are taught to give unconditionally, but
sumtimes u know how awful it feels being unable to do so?
U carefully weighs the pros and cons of every things, as if it
is a transaction. The reason being u gave too much too much in the
past and have gotten back nothing. So now is the time u get back
everything hundredfold.
In fact, I dun like to mix around with people i consider
inferior in character to me. I dun mind if they are not as
good as me now but they should have least have the decent attitude
to show that they have the drive in life. Seeing them as a
lazy-slug reminds me of myself a few yrs back, those days, i would
rather break a leg than study for exams. Now to think of it, i
would give myself 2 tight slaps. so now I would even roll my
eyes secretly if i see them approaching me. And of cos i know its
not good to treat others this way. But I read about how too much in
the bad company of others will lead to self-degradation. And only
constantly being in the company of people superior to you will you
improve.
And also to constantly strive to be the best? Some ppl may tink
its a good thing but now Im beginning to feel the heat. It takes
much effort to be 1 of the best and to stay there. Reminds me of
zaizen goro from great white tower.
"And also to constantly strive to
be the best? Some ppl may tink its a good thing but now Im
beginning to feel the heat. It takes much effort to be 1 of the
best and to stay there. "
Maybe you would like to share some information on the aspects in
which you are "1 of the best " ?