I;m very sad and tired..need good advice

Bluest5363 SG

i;m very tired and sad.

BadzMaro SG

How long u work in the company and how long since u got transferred and by who ? ;p

Nobody likes the new guy.Its like people from dunno where n how someone gained access to ur department and raided ur Beer Fridge. Expect shit to fall on ur shoulders.

U sound like u do everything seriously and properly. maybe thats the problem. u too stif. relax! lol! *rubs ur shoulders* u gotta relax.. i used to got a colleague also very tense always. Reading his mails is like reading an instruction manual. Nicely done.. points highlighted, neat, by the books... long...

Slowly ease in. Like u observed how ur colleague mails respond faster if sent in that manner , then u write like him lo. I can imagine ur manager.. see ur mail' shit.. him again.. so long.. diu.. have to read properly.. kk.. reply other mails first.'

but anyways, its like that one la. I also got lots of shit also. Over time it wasnt so bad liaw. Cause got another 2 new guys came in. hahaha.. Just hold on until another new guy comes in. lol

BadzMaro SG

Work is tiring and sad one. lol. Thats why we get paid for it.

Bluest5363 SG

i dont usually type long emails..i only write what is necessary.

In any case, if an initiative doesnt go through, i have to carry the shit, and try to resolve it.
My other colleague just use talking... but always the overview became too blurred that all key concerns are missed out. I wil be the one who needs to pen it down, make it better and email it eventually.

Bluest5363 SG

oh, and something to add.
its not emails sent by my colleagues. But rather, its emails sent by me. it just that whenever, i copy my colleague in my email, my manager will reply very promptly.
but when i dont copy my colleague, it doesnt get replied.

maurizio13 SG

office politics.

Bluest5363 SG

i am so down.. although my previous dept is more stressful than now. but i dont feel happy at all.
i just feel tied down, with no where to vent.
That colleague backstabbed me, and also use office politics on me..and i can feel that my manager doesnt want me there sincerely as well..just want to make use of me temporarily

maurizio13 SG

1) change the people working there

2) change new job

Bluest5363 SG

that colleague who backstabbed me was the same person who encouraged me to transfer over.

Post mortem, i thought back..it was a plot of his.
Coz, if i took the offer, he knows that i will give up the position to him.However, if another person took the job, it would be tougher for him to get promoted.
well, both of them are just using me.... :(

Bluest5363 SG

and you know what, i actually took a slight pay cut to transfer over to this department, and also the job i was doing previously had more market value....think i screwed myself up by all listening to all these lies from these 2 person.

candle SG

Suggest that you find a new job and leave that company. Same situation here as I'm going to transfer to another dept too, also cause a lot of unhappiness in between.

However, for me I got no choice but to transfer and I can't quit. Cos my current job is already reach bottel neck and my part-time study starting soon. I need the money in order to support my study. If you are not caught into the situation like what I'm facing now. Better just find another new job and change the environment.

If you decided to stay on, then try to accept them and try to change the entire situation as to benefit to your end. Very difficult to change people mind set or change their attitude towards you within a short period of time. But It can be done. Just that you will takes a while.

Before you decide anything, perhaps go for a short relaxing place and think carefully about it. Don't make a wrong decision or else you will regret.

Good luck to you. ^_^

jadel SG

life is too short for such nonsense... in life, always find out what's your options...and work on the options that is the most rewarding...

GIve yourself a timeframe say 3 or 6 months to try fit into the new dept... if things doesn't work out, exercise your options, which you should be spending time to build in the 3-6 months..

Got it gal ??

Bluest5363 SG

i am worn out....
i;ll just give up
he wants that position, then just take it.
my manager wants him to have it, then just give it to him then..
no more energy to play this kind of game...i'll start to be a piece of driftwood from now on.

tomtomsg SG

Perhaps you are giving up to easily to those who eagerly wishes to see you leave the company?

Basically I feel that if they want to play this type of game with you why not do it back to them? As you are new to the department, definitely those who have been there for sometime will feel weird having someone from another department to be in charge of them. Perhaps you should try to be less formal with them have perhaps take the initiative to get to know your subordinates better.

Anyway hope you be able to feel better after the weekend.

Work hard and don't give up easily!

Rock^Star SG

Perhaps u r like a square peg in a round hole. Ur personality traits do not suit the culture of this dept. Perhaps u uphold certain principles too strongly. Worse of all, u have lost grit and will to continue assimilation.

Give it up, change dept or find another job. There's nothing wrong with u, find something that u can adapt to and vice versa. It will be much easier doing something in a happier environment.

Good luck k.

xiiaostarry SG

change new job..

my previous co. also stucked up..all those old staff there ganged up against me..cuz I was the youngest among them + I am suppose to be of a "higher" position than them (Though different job scope; but ranking in the company). Hence, they also ganged up against me =.='''

In the end..I also tendered after 1mth..cannot tahan all those office politics..some ppl r just bo liao..loves to make life difficult for ppl..

all of us are just trying to make a living out there..getting a monthly salary..detest those kind of 小人.. =.='''

just leave if u're feeling really unhappy..what for stay & 受气..

p.s : working happily now in another new company =D

RedizAlertz SG

I wld suggest u take up tis challenge & break all barriers. No point changin job cos office politics (OP) happens everywhere.

Jus be reminded tat not all human being like changes & most of them are likely to succumb under jealously. And at the same time, are kind by nature (it helps alot if u believe tat). Level urself with them, try to see the points in their perpectives & concur them one by one, perhaps u shld start with the gossip monger / back stabber. It's not easy, but the result is fullfilling, provided u hav the patience.

jadel SG

Hey Bluest5363, you don hv to be a driftwood ! Do yourself a favour by checking out your options. Drop me a mail if you need help.

mistyblue SG

negative work culture don't change overnight and don't change just cause you are the new boss.