Honesty in a relationship

last SG · 2008-08-31T22:55:18+00:00

So can I assume that in most relationships, usually there is never 100% honesty in a relationship? It could be that little white lie now and then, it could b...

rainee SG

I believe that true love will conquer all obstacles...... or am I too naive?

Hmm I would like to say a bit naive...cos in reality it doesn't work that way. Truth is bitter medicine for most people...

For example, if you have been raped before and got pregnant and got an abortion, would you tell your current partner about it? Do you think he would be able to accept it and still see you the same as before? can you honestly say it will not have even a little bit of negative effect on your current relationship?

parn SG

Sharing about mistakes can bring the relationship forward if the couple is mature enough to accept and forgive each other's past. They will know that their attraction for each other has matured into love when they are willing to forgive accept each other's past mistakes unconditionally.

If the person who committed the mistakes in the past is unable to forget their own mistakes in the past, isn't it naive to imagine another person might be able to forget your mistakes when he himself also realised it is not possible for him to even forget about his own mistakes?

You can say forgive and move on, but how many people you know are really able to truly forgive one another?

To be able to truly forgive another person, the person must make sure he/she must first be able to forgive themselves before they know they are ready to take on the challenge to forgive others.

Same goes for people seeking true love in all possible corners of the world and in sgforums, they can only be ready to provide true love if they are able to forgive themselves first.

cherrycola SG

Hmm I would like to say a bit naive...cos in reality it doesn't work that way. Truth is bitter medicine for most people...

Honestly, being raped is a misfortune. To dump me because I had been a victim to someone actually shows how much or rather, how little, my current partner loves me.

cherrycola SG

You can say forgive and move on, but how many people you know are really able to truly forgive one another?

To be able to truly forgive another person, the person must make sure he/she must first be able to forgive themselves before they know they are ready to take on the challenge to forgive others.

Same goes for people seeking true love in all possible corners of the world and in sgforums, they can only be ready to provide true love if they are able to forgive themselves first.

If one is not ready to forgive and accept himself/herself for the past mistakes make, then they are definitely not ready to love themselves. If so, they are all the more not ready to love others.

rainee SG

Honestly, being raped is a misfortune. To dump me because I had been a victim to someone actually shows how much or rather, how little, my current partner loves me.

Yes, it is a misfortune. But the fact remains that it has happened before...some people cannot accept it because it is against their principle, etc bla bla.

But that's beside the point. What I am trying to say is, it is something that happened in the past, it doesn't have any effect on the present until the moment the cat is out of the bag. So the question is, if he would never find out, why bother to talk about it when it is going to affect the relationship?

The above is just an example. There are many more similar situations which are really hard to be voiced out...

IR SG

Heh, I've been a victim of dishonesty, although its not that I'm completely truthful myself. If it happened for the first time in a relationship, I would usually take the initiative to talk to her and understand why. I'll forgive and try to forget about it after. But if it happens many times, I don't think I can give in. I try my best to fulfill my promises to her, why can't she do the same?

cherrycola SG

Yes, it is a misfortune. But the fact remains that it has happened before...some people cannot accept it because it is against their principle, etc bla bla.

The above is just an example. There are many more similar situations which are really hard to be voiced out...

THe problem is, we can never guarantee if a certain secret will be hidden forever. And if he has the possibility of finding out, wouldn't it be better to tell him first?

rainee SG

THe problem is, we can never guarantee if a certain secret will be hidden forever. And if he has the possibility of finding out, wouldn't it be better to tell him first?

Yea...that's the dilemma that plagued most people. Sigh.

jojobeach SG

You don't have to tell all about your past. Unless it pertains to health and financial issues. Issues that will affect the well being of your current partner.

Honesty is a good thing in the present and future.

Evangel SG

i'll be honest jojo

i think we should date

Sgtopmarketseller SG

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sweetevil SG

Why is acceptance so difficult. Isn't it a lil unfair to be fault for the past? It's difficult to forget and it may take time to forgive, but everyone makes mistakes. Why can't contentment of the present precedes?

Midlusionz SG

Relationship are full of ups and downs and revealing everything to yours other half is the hardest.. Your darkest secret so on and so fore.. IMO if my gf ask i need know is she ready to accept everything my past etc. everyone got their own secrets ya.

charlize SG

Poll.

Would you reveal your deep dark past to your partner knowing full well that it will destroy your current relationship with him/her?

And I am not talking about some "when i was in primary school, I stole my friend's pencil and pulled their hair" thing.

Really, really deep dark secret.

RedizAlertz SG

Poll.

Would you reveal your deep dark past to your partner knowing full well that it will destroy your current relationship with him/her?

And I am not talking about some "when i was in primary school, I stole my friend's pencil and pulled their hair" thing.

Really, really deep dark secret.

Why do u hav so many questions abt love? Use ur "wait 20yrs for true love" theory to test on all these problems shld help.

Seriously, I choose not to tell unless one ask. & If im being asked, i wont lie but i wont go into details either.

I wont lie, I only dun tell. Likewise, I dun usually prode too deep into my exes' past r'ships UNLESS it concerns with health. And if one has to lie in order to be in a good r'ship, it's goin to be tough for tat person for as long as the r'ship will last. One lie leads to another..in the end u need more lies to cover tat one dark secret. No wonder it's called "Dark Secret" - the more u cover it with other lies, the darker it shall become.

Xcert SG

Should there be total honesty in a relationship?

What if, and I say what if, a person has a hidden past that she would like to hide from her partner, knowing full well that revealing it would destroy the most wonderful thing she has with him? Maybe she was young and gullible, maybe she was too wild and too carefree, maybe she was the worst backstabbing bitch in the whole wide world. But she wants to change her life and move on.

Woud you not agree that total honesty is not a good thing?

No.I think it is very important to have total honesty during the dating period and especially after marriage.

charlize SG

No.I think it is very important to have total honesty during the dating period and especially after marriage.

Even at the expense of losing that relationship?

cherrycola SG

Why do u hav so many questions abt love? Use ur "wait 20yrs for true love" theory to test on all these problems shld help.

Seriously, I choose not to tell unless one ask. & If im being asked, i wont lie but i wont go into details either.

But not telling is actually a form of lying.

Midlusionz SG

Poll.

Would you reveal your deep dark past to your partner knowing full well that it will destroy your current relationship with him/her?

And I am not talking about some "when i was in primary school, I stole my friend's pencil and pulled their hair" thing.

Really, really deep dark secret.

Sigh.. Dark secrets..

BadzMaro SG

damned if u do.. damned if u dont.

U will need both parties to be insanely understanding till the point of unbelievableness to make it work.

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