Hi Everyone,
After these weeks of consideration I think I have a problem, but
it look I m a irresponsible person. For many mistake I done and
hurt someone I love, somehow I really felt I m a idiot.... For that
perhap I really get no chances to be a good husband and a good
father anymore. The way I try talking to her it really sound end of
the realationship.
I myself having some problem that I just realise whenever I make
mistake I just keep quiet. But becos of my this problem in the end
ppl around think i m a dishonest guy. For myself I just felt very
sorry and do not dare to face them, if you ask me to talk to them I
cant perform I cant speak, in the end I alway chose slient walk a
side letting those who know and understand me be the one accept who
I m. For my character it hurt alot of ppl, I dun explain much
I kept everything inside me. But ppl around me know whether I m
happy or sad, still remember last few day a fren of my asking me a
simple question. What wrong with me for the past few month, and I
couldnt explain to him. That fren knew me for many years told
me, I have a problem that is I dun say things out any problem alway
kept to myself. Even the person that closest to me also dun
understand me well.
I letting my wife labour alone in the hospital, I letting her
down so many times. And in the past her family member trying to
stop us to be together, but she insisted to be with me. And for
that I promise myself to fight whatever I have my last breath for
someeone who trusted me so much. But things changed when I failed
in my biz and even letting my own family looking down on me. My
cousin said I m not good in biz I have not material for that, but
before that when started and everything was going to be smoothly he
said one day you be there.( The world is so true to me that someone
I admirer saying words that hurt) Plus my wife saying that before
starting the biz it not easy you not sure you can make it that day.
I just need to hear some postive words but nothing hear. I falled
Im lost that period and from the way I saw her family member I
alway kept quiet by a side. I m a failure that dun dare to face the
truth and face everyone. I alway choose to avoid everyone that
asking me question how your biz. But when she sleeping beside me,
while she closing her eye I kiss on her forehead and say (I can
make it one day, I love you dear gd night).... Alway doing
something that ohters never see, never hear from my mouth.
I alway wanted to provide my family the best and comfortable
life. But because of my insist I sometime taking too much risk for
thinking really fast earning money. It alway a bizman game the more
risk you took the more risk u end. But those who have capital will
feel alittle pain but for those without will feel like it end of
the world just like me lost. And that really hurting the people
around me, and the ppl that care about me. But where on earth that
ppl understand me.
Now I lost my wife my kid!!!!!!!!!!!!! I lose to her to be
honest to all of you............... There time I felt like dying
but there too many unsettle things to me, I kept myself alive after
I had finish I think I really will end it. Anyway everythings had
been place in order my dad and mum was divored so dad home under my
sis mum home will be under my bro. haha........ Since young I
already make this planning......... Now I just want to try to treat
her good and the baby as much as I can. They mean alot to me i dun
think anyone here understand how much I had been through.
I flying the highest once and drop all the way to the
bottom.
A never give up guy to finish my mission and leave. Maybe my
time really left not much? Im going to settle most of my things
soon like now setting up a beauty salon for my mum and my sis so in
future maybe they can make a living out of it.
What can I do to let me show I treat them(wife&kids) nicer,
like she alway reject me nowaday. So what can I do? Im not a
romanti man by the way, I dunno what is surprise and never give
surprise to any girls before.
Regards,
Ricky