troublesome gf

CrabbyShaSha SG

honestly from the first post i can tell both also got problem

i just think that both of you are taking each other for granted thats all. both you and the girl.

she double standard you, you not happy must voice out one what these are really trival issues to quarrel over. you better re-evaluate your r/s and see if both of you are ready to settle down sorry for sounding harsh but from the comments, its just his/her fault and never your own.

I guess this will only get worse. Either she is not the right one for you or youu are not the right one for her. I always think that in a relationship, you need the right match otherwise it will never work.

My advise is, if you cannot take her type then it's time ot move on. Longer you drag the worst it will get. trust me, I have been thru this before........

ahhhhh i really don't know.. i think i'm always being too soft

all the quarrels always i apologise 1, just now i also feel like apologising but i dont want to end up like my friends 被牵着鼻子走

imho, if the root of the problem which is understanding is never faced head on, apologising only serves to bury the problem deeper. That is why i think it is always wise to start slow into the relationship, taking the time to observe and understand one another before plunging headwards into a relationship.

dun talk about it u will the problem will go away ah?

It takes a lot of courage and humility to have a real serious talk though.

yes. this is one thing about girls that i dont understand too.

i've a close female friend of 4 years i know frm JC. yes, you can say she's pretty. but then, my gf was okay with her and as months passed by, it got obvious that she too cant take it when i'm out with her in our group of friends...

at the peak, she even gave me an ultimatum : me or your friendship w/ her?

of course i told her, i think you're trying very hard to change me into some desirable guy & u wont get it and i'm leaving. so i left.

and best part is when she's out with guys, she'll just remark.. you jolly well know they're just my friends.

hahaha... so now i'm single and having lotsa female friends since i just entered uni.

I think it's a sort of mindset these days. Who's better or more headstrong and who will win this argument? Perhaps she's just trying to spite you and in the end, she's just surfing on illusionary victory. As they say, "Win the argument but lose a friend."

Good for you mate! I am glad you made a bold and right choice. Plenty of trees out there in the forest.

Agenda, Don't get me wrong, I am not saying she is bad but just not right for you dude

This could also be the case. However if one does not reflect on oneself and take ownership of problem, it is highly likely to repeat itself the next round as a vicious cycle.

April Shower SG

imho, if the root of the problem which is understanding is never faced head on, apologising only serves to bury the problem deeper. That is why i think it is always wise to start slow into the relationship, taking the time to observe and understand one another before plunging headwards into a relationship.

It takes a lot of courage and humility to have a real serious talk though.

I think it's a sort of mindset these days. Who's better or more headstrong and who will win this argument? Perhaps she's just trying to spite you and in the end, she's just surfing on illusionary victory. As they say, "Win the argument but lose a friend."

This could also be the case. However if one does not reflect on oneself and take ownership of problem, it is highly likely to repeat itself the next round as a vicious cycle.

Face it, look at his issues, it is clearly trying to put a square block into a round hole. You are right about taking ownership of the problem, stop it before it hurts more and be brave about it.

April Shower SG

imho, if the root of the problem which is understanding is never faced head on, apologising only serves to bury the problem deeper. That is why i think it is always wise to start slow into the relationship, taking the time to observe and understand one another before plunging headwards into a relationship.

It takes a lot of courage and humility to have a real serious talk though.

I think it's a sort of mindset these days. Who's better or more headstrong and who will win this argument? Perhaps she's just trying to spite you and in the end, she's just surfing on illusionary victory. As they say, "Win the argument but lose a friend."

This could also be the case. However if one does not reflect on oneself and take ownership of problem, it is highly likely to repeat itself the next round as a vicious cycle.

Face it, look at his issues, it is clearly trying to put a square block into a round hole. You are right about taking ownership of the problem, stop it before it hurts more and be brave about it.

April Shower SG

imho, if the root of the problem which is understanding is never faced head on, apologising only serves to bury the problem deeper. That is why i think it is always wise to start slow into the relationship, taking the time to observe and understand one another before plunging headwards into a relationship.

It takes a lot of courage and humility to have a real serious talk though.

I think it's a sort of mindset these days. Who's better or more headstrong and who will win this argument? Perhaps she's just trying to spite you and in the end, she's just surfing on illusionary victory. As they say, "Win the argument but lose a friend."

This could also be the case. However if one does not reflect on oneself and take ownership of problem, it is highly likely to repeat itself the next round as a vicious cycle.

Face it, look at his issues, it is clearly trying to put a square block into a round hole. You are right about taking ownership of the problem, stop it before it hurts more and be brave about it.

April Shower SG

imho, if the root of the problem which is understanding is never faced head on, apologising only serves to bury the problem deeper. That is why i think it is always wise to start slow into the relationship, taking the time to observe and understand one another before plunging headwards into a relationship.

It takes a lot of courage and humility to have a real serious talk though.

I think it's a sort of mindset these days. Who's better or more headstrong and who will win this argument? Perhaps she's just trying to spite you and in the end, she's just surfing on illusionary victory. As they say, "Win the argument but lose a friend."

This could also be the case. However if one does not reflect on oneself and take ownership of problem, it is highly likely to repeat itself the next round as a vicious cycle.

Face it, look at his issues, it is clearly trying to put a square block into a round hole. You are right about taking ownership of the problem, stop it before it hurts more and be brave about it.

Chunghong2004 SG

Relationship is about trust. She seems she don't trust you, she is watching you every second.

Relationship is about give and take, she does take but did not give enough. She asked you not to do this yet she did that.

Imagine you both are married, i assume it will be a hard time for each other and ending up, divorce.

burg SG

very gd point by skythewood.

usually i will have escape plan and bail at the first sign of trouble.

but i guess not everyone works in the same way

charlize SG

Why love so complicated?

Why?

00king00 SG

tis the "must-have" phase for a r/s after the honeymoon part, couples here either make it through or break

there's no right or wrong here (both gal n guy equally hypocritical), it's about whether the couple can learn to respect each other's personal space

u 2 need to talk and find out ways to reassure each other to get rid of the feelings of being neglected, uneasiness and jealousy

one way is to be completely honest about where u are going and with who. the person on the receiving end also should not criticise the choice of friends or be overly jealous. In this way both will be more willing to be honest. alternatively, wherever u go try to bring yr bf/gf along and incorporate him/her into yr personal life.

at the end of the day, u 2 are supposed to be a couple who should be part of each other's life. I'm not saying it's wrong to meet yr friends, but if you are meeting yr friends more than yr gf/bf (and not even honest about it), then something is very very wrong.

sinicker SG

Why love so complicated?

Why?

Why love so complicated?

Why got ERP?

Why peak hour train 4mins?

Why got 2 space for wheelchair passengers in bus but got 10 people stand there??

WHY?

thehappybunny SG

time to think through this r/s

she refuses to give and always takes. not healthy

charlize SG

tis the "must-have" phase for a r/s after the honeymoon part, couples here either make it through or break

there's no right or wrong here (both gal n guy equally hypocritical), it's about whether the couple can learn to respect each other's personal space

u 2 need to talk and find out ways to reassure each other to get rid of the feelings of being neglected, uneasiness and jealousy

one way is to be completely honest about where u are going and with who. the person on the receiving end also should not criticise the choice of friends or be overly jealous. In this way both will be more willing to be honest. alternatively, wherever u go try to bring yr bf/gf along and incorporate him/her into yr personal life.

at the end of the day, u 2 are supposed to be a couple who should be part of each other's life. I'm not saying it's wrong to meet yr friends, but if you are meeting yr friends more than yr gf/bf (and not even honest about it), then something is very very wrong.

On a related note, I am of the opinion that sometimes being too honest in a relationship is a surefire way of destroying that relationship.

Certain things are probably meant NOT to be revealed to the other party. And don't give me that bullcrap that honesty is the best policy. Some people may have certain things about their past that they know will cause problems in their current relationship or might totally end it right there and then if revealed to the other party.

It is a choice that an individual must make. Revealing past boyfriends/girlfriends, previous gay/lesbian relationships (maybe a phase that a person went through during younger days), past lifestyles (wild boozing, partying) can be the final nail that is hammered into the relationship coffin.

Lorry` SG

On a related note, I am of the opinion that sometimes being too honest in a relationship is a surefire way of destroying that relationship.

Certain things are probably meant NOT to be revealed to the other party. And don't give me that bullcrap that honesty is the best policy. Some people may have certain things about their past that they know will cause problems in their current relationship or might totally end it right there and then if revealed to the other party.

It is a choice that an individual must make. Revealing past boyfriends/girlfriends, previous gay/lesbian relationships (maybe a phase that a person went through during younger days), past lifestyles (wild boozing, partying) can be the final nail that is hammered into the relationship coffin.

agree with you Charlize

Know what to reveal and what not to

charlize SG

agree with you Charlize

Know what to reveal and what not to

If that's the case, then would it be fair to surmise that there is never any TOTAL honesty in any relationship?

"Does my butt look big to you?"

00king00 SG

On a related note, I am of the opinion that sometimes being too honest in a relationship is a surefire way of destroying that relationship.

Certain things are probably meant NOT to be revealed to the other party. And don't give me that bullcrap that honesty is the best policy. Some people may have certain things about their past that they know will cause problems in their current relationship or might totally end it right there and then if revealed to the other party.

It is a choice that an individual must make. Revealing past boyfriends/girlfriends, previous gay/lesbian relationships (maybe a phase that a person went through during younger days), past lifestyles (wild boozing, partying) can be the final nail that is hammered into the relationship coffin.

juz to clarify, i'm not talking abt being honest abt yr past relationship

i meant being honest abt where and with whom you are going out wif >> so that u can dispel any suspicion of each other n avoid the conflict u mentioned in yr thread

Lorry` SG

If that's the case, then would it be fair to surmise that there is never any TOTAL honesty in any relationship?

"Does my butt look big to you?"

1) Thats right.

2) Well.... I dont know.... But it just looks yummy to me. *slurp*

Agenda SG

at least change the topic name!

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