On the other hand, as you say, she is a nice gal and you think it's
just left with only your parents to approve then it would be a
perfect picture. But what about in long run? If you never think of
marryin this gal, why be together in the first place where you have
to go through all these problems? My point is, don't rush to
conclusion.
It's not just the race and religion but how you 2 are brought up in
a very different family of rules and regulations. Are you sure
there wont be any ways whereby you and your gf wont conflict in at
all in future living together? Put it the other way round. Why
is it not your gf giving in to you by converting out instead?
You're doing it one-sided I guess. (correct me if I'm wrong)
Traditional chinese parents are always like that. Face comes first
for traditional parents. How are they going to face their relatives
and so on? Both parties have their dignity, reputation
and principles to uphold. I'm in the same situation as you as well
in some ways, but to avoid getting into getting "trouble" with
my parents, my relationship is not disclosed to anyone cos my bf
and I never know whether we will be marryin to each other in the
end. It's not we don't believe in each other but shit happens
sometimes. Therefore, we didn't want to upset anyone in the mean
time, or go thru all the dramas at the moment., since everything is
not comfirm yet till maybe we are really getting married as in till
we are engaged or sth like tat. Imagine, (not cursing you) but if
one day you and your gf broke up for some reason we never
know, won't all these dramas between you and your parents
esp your father, seems like you going through and fighting for
nothin?
No matter what you choose, show respect and gratitude to
your parents. They give you what you have, brought you up to the
person you become. Is that how you're going to repay their
kindness?
There are too many elements in life that you have to sacrifice
sometimes cos of the decision you made. Love is not everything.
Loving someone doesnt mean you have to possess him or her.
In the mean time, why not just enjoy life, enjoy what you have and
appreciate it.
I said I wasn't going to reply to this thread anymore because
some people do not understand what the thread was about in the
first place. All they can see is the outrage of a son who has the
audacity to go against his parents for the love of a malay
girl.
Being filial is one thing. But know this, we are ultimately
accountable to God. Treat your parents well is one thing. Obliging
your parents when they are wrong is still a sin.
If your parents say "Don't friend this indian boy, indians are
smelly."
Would you follow their wishes?
Same goes to "Don't date malay girls, malays are stupid."
Each of us has a moral compass in us that knows right from
wrong. Traditions can be wrong. And it is fatal to our country if
we keep clinging to those that are detrimental to our society. What
happened to "regardless of race, language and religion"?
Racism can go both ways. But as a chinese. I am very aware that
any chinese dating a malay or indian will face strong opposition
from their family.
How would you feel if you dated a white british girl and her
parents forbid her because you are a "chink" and therefore
"inferior" or "unsuitable"? Is it an indignity to marry someone who
is a malay or indian? What reputation is there to uphold? One as a
racist? Fxxx that. Yes I am pissed off with all this "tradition"
and "face" bullshit. Anyone suscribing to this, you're a FXXXXG
RACIST. Hypocrites the bunch of you, complaining ang mohs are so
arrogant and here you are putting other races down.
Is being Chinese in any way superior to indians or malays as Ang
Mohs are superior to all of us? If two people are in love and can
accept their differences, who can tell them otherwise?
This is surely my last post here. Nothing I say will change the
minds of those who oppose or cling onto "traditions". I have
obtained some good advice but also a lot of ranting from people who
did not even read my question, let alone understand it.
If I dated a Brit, my parents would approve. Let's say her
parents don't approve simply because I'm chinese. How will my
parent's feel? Now, what do they think my girlfen's parents would
feel if I accede to my parent's requests.
Whatever, I leave this debate to you guys. It's really pointless
for me to carry on. Flame me or whatever I don't care. One post
cannot change a lifetime of prejudiced values programmed into a
person's brain. It takes too much effort. Effort I'm willing to put
into my parents only.
