shd i wait for him?

last SG · 2008-08-08T11:28:59+00:00

This is a quality vs quantity question. Quality refers to that of a relationship while quantiy refers to the amount of time spent together in a relationship....

gal_2004 SG

my bf of 5yrs recently broke up wif me, citing i wasnt understanding enough. he's in ns now and only book out during wkends. as a gf, i of coz will miss him and wanna spend more time with him mah.

he said i'm too "sticky", he wants to have his own freedom, and sometimes wanna go out with other friends instead of me.. but i really not understanding enough, keep insisting on meeting him and he feels that his life is v.restricted and he cant do the things he want.

we broke up 1week ago, but 1mth ago he still asked me whether i'm willing to wait afew more mths for him before he ord. and i told him i will wait for him. the problem is, i think we both still love each other, but i dunno why he still wanna break up?

he keep saying i dont appreciate wat he had ever done for me.. and i'm not understanding enough, coz i keep complaining he dont spend much time with me.. and he ask me dont waste anymore time on him, it's not worth it.. haiz.. i dunno whether wat he said is really frm his heart or not.. i dunno whether i shd continue to wait for him or not.. but he did mention, "i thought our r/s was v.stable this time, and i thought u will understand me, but u didnt.."

alfagal SG

will being back together solve the problems u once had?

if not then y be back together..

yongliang7 SG

no don't wait for him ..

youyayu SG

emmm... how to say ar.. he say u sticky... emmm wait la.. then see how.. i mean you won't get a bf straight away right? so be paitence.. maybe he is testing you.. don't do stupid things to make yourself regret...

why you stick with him ar? some guys like me will get irrirated if you keep sticking to me..
just go out occasionally.. don't too often..

But if he is a bastard ordering you around and this and that.. then ask him fuck off

jojobeach SG

Oh how typical of a selfish man.

Sure he wants you to wait for him.

If he cannot find bigger fish.. he'll come back to you.

Will he wait for you ... if you turn the tables around ?

He says you don't understand him ?

Ask yourself .. how much has he understood you ?

But is that a good reason for a break up ?

Obviously he doesn't cherish you.

Ask yourself.. is a man like that worth the wait ?

hiphop2009 SG

actually from wad i see, i think ur problem not very big ba.

it is a two way thing, talk to him lo. i think dats the best way.

XxYaNxX SG

If you both can make the relationship work , i would wait .

gal_2004 SG

thanks for all the replies.. :)

my heart is telling me i shd wait, but then the things he said really hurt me alot.. i feel he's not putting effort in understanding y i was so 'sticky' to him.. well, normally guys enjoy freedom but gals need the assurance mah..

and yes, our problem isnt v.big, in fact we got plans of settling down in 2-3yrs' time.. but seems like he dowan to carry on anymore, he keep telling me not to waste my time on him, it's not worth to do anymore things for him. he told me he's tired of doing things for me coz he dont feel appreciated..

haiz, so how can i make him feel appreciated? i'd tried to have a gd talk with him, but he dowan to listen to me anymore. dont reply my sms or calls anymore.. i really v.heartbroken..

^tamago^ SG

no…..

LatecomerX SG

So...what has he done for you, and what have you done for him?

BrUtUs SG

my bf of 5yrs recently broke up wif me, citing i wasnt understanding enough. he's in ns now and only book out during wkends. as a gf, i of coz will miss him and wanna spend more time with him mah.

well tell him to take his SAR21 and stick it up his "___"... basically both of u relai not meant for each other... remember after he ns he will study/work and he will still be hanging out wif his mates... so same thing might happen... u still love him prob cos u hvnt walk out of it fully yet... dun fall for it.... theres many others out there...

jojobeach SG

thanks for all the replies.. :)

haiz, so how can i make him feel appreciated? i'd tried to have a gd talk with him, but he dowan to listen to me anymore. dont reply my sms or calls anymore.. i really v.heartbroken..

He can say hurtful things to you.. because he knows he has a huge choice of girls after his NS is done.

But you .. on the other hand.. thinks he is the ONLY guy in your life.

Sure.. it's ALL your fault... if it's not your fault.. would he has any good reason to dump you ?

Don't bother trying to make him feel appreciated... because that's not his main goal.

His intention is to get rid of you.

Karma88 SG

Do u see only him as ur future husband ?

To me he is obviously wanting to get rid of you .

So why should u be so thick skin and continue loving him .

Just find another guy who will love you more then him and move on .

P.S if not one else u can find . i`m free LOL

eyeballl SG

he clearly doesnt understand that loving someone is a commitment, and not just an emotion. commitment means that you'll do your best to make things work even though its against what you "feel" like doing. giving reasons like that for a breakup shows that he thinks relationships are only about emotions and feelings

well i think for you you've got to be more independent and do things by yourself. he clearly does not show that he has a maturity to be a good partner in the future.

youyayu SG

i can't judge weather or not who is in the right and whos in the wrong.. from the post u put at the incident of msn i feel u have no respect for ur bf privacy.

Cool-gal SG

haiz... another ns guy..

y huh, go ns sure to change.

complain lack of freedom, wants to be with campmate..

gay or wad sia?

eyeballl SG

haiz... another ns guy..

y huh, go ns sure to change.

complain lack of freedom, wants to be with campmate..

gay or wad sia?

boys to men what. *rolls eyes* NS is a complete waste of time :p

Articulation SG

Its perfectly understandable that you as his gf will want to be with him for as long as possible over the weekend given that you don't see him for 5 days a week.

Well, it could be that he is in a state of dilema whereby he wants to spent his precious bookout timings with you and yet also wanting to spent sometime with his friends so at the very least he does not loose contact with them.

I think you should wait as firstly you've nothing to lose, since its his lost for not appreciating your care and concern. Also a few months is relatively little as compared to the 5 years you were together with him.

Give him time and space for him to think things over, who knows it might turn out fine after that.

dinky1409 SG

TS, guys like that? Dont waste time.. move on.. obviously treating you as a back-up plan..

mancha SG

He is doing his NS, so how old can both of you be.

You are young. Take the opportunity, to discover other options. You don't have to be committed to you plans of settling down 2-3 years time.

Don't let what he says affect you. Just bear in mind what he said. Later you need to recall such things to assess him inorder to decide your future with him. In the meantime you have some measure of freedom. Use it. Go travelling, meet more people, enjoy life. Take the opportunity, while stock last. Don't be lovey-dovey wait for him. When his NS is over then, review YOUR life.

He, he will review his life when his NS is over. He will decide about you only at that point in time. I don't know, you don't know, he also don't know, nobody know what he will decide. So don't waste time distressing yourself.

Destiny is in your hands.