Hello Everyone. i would like to hear your opinions and advice on
this issue. I have been with my gf for around 4 mths before i have
to embark on a overseas work attachment trip to China for 6 months.
Even in singapore i feel that i cannot fully trust my gf due to the
fact that she likes to club and she cannot control her drinking
properly. She is naturally a friendly person and i know many guys
will like to take advantage of that such as a few cases where guys
such as her friends or her juniors will invite her to go to their
rooms to "share" aircon or just hang out.
Personally i have never been this suspicious of my past gfs but
somehow i feel that i cannot fully trust my gf right now. I was
quite ok until the first time she went clubbing after being with me
and she got seriously drunk and i had to go down to bring her back
because her friends called me to go down instead of bringing her
back themselves. They went back clubbing while i waited with her
until she could semi stand and i helped her back. That was a pretty
terrible trust breaker for me when i saw how badly she could get
drunk as she can't control. Anyone could have taken advantage of
her then.
The second time i let her go she was supposed to msg me when she
got back but she forgot and msged me when she woke up instead. She
was unable to remember that i called her at 4am just before she
slept and due to a bit of snooping around that i made. I found a
entry that she made on her computer in the form of a personal diary
that she posts somewhere that she was actually unable to remember
much just that she was running around alot and she might have
hugged her friend and put her on her friend's shoulder in the
cab.
Actually, i've been very skeptical of her since the first
incident and after observing the way she behaves so i gauge her
character from that. She is a pretty decent gf as she is willing to
set aside time for me and she bothered to buy me a wallet etc and
some game thing i wanted even though she doesn't have much cash
left as we are both students. I know she sacrificed abit of the
cash she was going to use on her online shopping as she loves
clothes. She bothered to pick me up after my temp job almost
everyday from the mrt near our area and eat supper and hang out
with me.
I believe that she does NOT have the intention to cheat normally
but as of now, i am overseas and unable to be with her. To top it
off, i try not to restrict her from clubbing and just instruct her
to drop me a msg when she returns home or else things will get very
bad which is the best i can do to assauge my fears. However, i
somehow have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that she
is going to do something to cheat on me and it is KILLING me.
I do not want to give her up as i feel that she is worth keeping
but this constant fear that i have is really eating into me.
I would appreciate any advice and insights to help me see things
differently.
Friends who are girls are called girl friends. Among all the
girl friends that you known, the one whom you like the most would
most likely end up as the closest friend among all your girl
friends, and you would term her as girlfriend. Note that this term
is singular and the word girl and friend formed a single word. It
represents that she is the closest girl to your life at that moment
in time.
Remember, closest doesn't means you own or possess her.
Girlfriend is still a FRIEND, so do treat her and take care of her
better than any of your other girl friends.
You should not placed restrictions on her, hold grudges against
her, doubted her, intrude/invade her privacy, and even
instructed her. You do not have any rights to her whatsoever,
so do bear that in mind at all times if you want to be a better
boyfriend to your girlfriend.
Despite feeling insecure and being possessive towards
your girlfriend, please understand, accept and acknowledge your
girlfriend for having a different lifestyle than you. If you are
not able to agree to this, then you are not worthy of her. And you
don't love her at all, it's just pure lust that you are feeling
towards her.
You should be proud that she have her own lifestyle despite it's
not the kind that you may find yourself suitable for.
She has obviously sacrificed alot for you, even to the extend of
putting up with all your unreasonable requests in this
relationship. She doesn't deserved to be treated like this.
Treasure her better and cherish her more if you still love her
and want this relationship to grow.
Every guys and girls will go through what you are going through
at the moment, but it's up to you to break out and overcome your
own fears, insecurities and grow in character.
You will find that not everybody is able to overcome this, but I
believe you will overcome it after you have understood what I've
shared with you.
Both of you deserves to have a better relationship together, and
you just need to believe in her and yourself.
Good Luck.
