Okay, I have this problem. I have this girl as my friend, she
was introduced by someone I know (doesn't matter). and we have been
friends for about a year. Basically we met up a few times alone
just to stone and have each other's company or meet up to pass each
other stuff. mostly was chatting on the phone and smsing. It's been
one year. Now this is so not going to turn into the usual "oh now i
like her story". but more of, both of us have nothing to be friends
for. no common ground, no common topic.
most of the time, we're just talking about ourselves and then the
baton passes on. most of the time, we just keep sharing jokes and
poking each other and having fun. i have no feeligns for her and
neither does she.
so i mean, like recently we found out that our friendship is so
called dying due to the lack of common ground, and i hae to bluntly
say that both of us lead rather boring, unintersected lifes.. i
mean, we both realize that eventually we will drift so far apart
that we might not say hi to each other on the street even if we
pass by each other.
i enjoy talking to her, enjoy her company. i mean, recently we have
been really close, to the extent that we have met to kiss and hug.
Yes, it was "just as friends". but however, due to the weirdness of
just being friends, we decided to stop. yes, we both enjoyed
it.
So as in, she doesn't want to lose me (as a friend), and same
applies for me. We decided to 'get together' in hopes that we will
like each other. One week passed and now we decided to 'break up'
because it was impossible. I mean, I know it myself and she knows
it her self. the attraction just isn't there. It has gone up, true,
just by being officially together and sending each other sweet
sms-es will sorta in a way induce some feelings. however, it's
purity is questionable. After one week, we both have slightly a
little feeling for each other. However, these feelings are just
feelings of enjoying being 'love', bluffing ourselves when we
actually just prefer each other as friends.
I kind of miss her as a friend. More of, the days when we could
just chat and chat and chat. My jokes used to be very effective on
her, now she's getting too accustomed to them.
I wonder why. Sometimes isn't it just easier if we both fall for
each other. I can't ask why she can't, cause I can't either. It
seems like our friendship has reached it's maximum, yet terminal
point.
You sure you don't like her? OR You are afraid of admitting you
like her?
If you don't like her, you wouldn't be so worried about losing
her, cos she would be just like one of your normal friends. You
won't be that upset and disappointed if your other friends lose
contact with you for a period of time. Unless you tell me you're a
possessive friend to all your friends, then you don't need to come
here and post cos you would need to seek a mental doctor. Anyway,
you're smart enough to post it here, means you do not need to seek
medical assistance.
Either way, admit it...you do like her...and you like her
alot. But I would rather hear it coming from you than from my own
post.
Hehehe....if you really want to preserve this friendship with
her, then you don't have to do anything special to preserve
the friendship. The truth is, real friends don't have to put on a
good show of friendship to one another. They pick up their
friendship from where they left it previously. You don't have to
always amuse your friend in order to convince yourself that you
have succeeded in making her think well of you in her friendlist.
-> That is terribly irritating you know?
You may be trying your best to make her fall in love with you by
being a close friend to her, but if you are a MAN, you should have
come clean with your feelings for her and tell her how important
she is to you in your life. Do not hide behind the shield of
friendship for fear of rejection. If you're not MAN enough to be
honest to her, then there is no reason for her to have any
confidence to even allow you to exist in her future. GOD knows what
you want from her and what you were really after? ->
That's quite sneaky you know?
Frankly speaking, if your intentions to form a platonic
friendship with her were PURE. Then you won't have any worries cos
your conscience would be clear and empty.
You know that you have lost your opportunity to convince her to
remain as your friend right? I'm not her so I won't be able to tell
you if she is willing to resume this friendship with you again. But
you would be able to start by being HONEST with her, and see what
she thinks. Give her time to digest your honesty.
Your friendship with her did not reached it's maximum, yet
terminal point. It has died long before you realised it when
you failed to give this friendship a purpose to live on.
In any relationship, adopting a passive approach isn't going
help in the growth the relationship. It's same as running a
business, you can't just sit and wait for customers to flood you
with businesses. Be proactive, be passionate about the friendship
with your friend if you do not want your relationship with her to
freeze in time. You reap what you sow, how desperate you need her
in your life will serve as a buring point for you to
like/love(SERVE) her better.
You will understand her better if you look at yourself
from her perspective.
